tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30724218.post115519306518849500..comments2023-08-13T21:11:05.572+08:00Comments on The Eyes Have It: By Reason Of InsanityFionahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00727596416170770024noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30724218.post-1155528569164873892006-08-14T12:09:00.000+08:002006-08-14T12:09:00.000+08:00The abuser does strip away at the sense of self......The abuser does strip away at the sense of self...so much so that we no longer trust who that self is...when it comes to emotional abuse, we no longer even trust that we are truly the abused...it is a conundrum I have been circling for years...they manipulate to the point where they don't even have to anymore...we do it for them...darling there is nothing more you could have done...that is part of the self-manipulation I am talking about...at some point we cannot be saviours to anyone but ourselves..you made that choice...I am so glad you did. <BR/><BR/>And as a good friend keeps trying to tell me (well not exactly in these words but the message is the same :))....he was a grownup, and he could make his own choices, even if he tried to escape making those choices by drowning them in a bottle.Sunny Delighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09813476500121784003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30724218.post-1155528284644959022006-08-14T12:04:00.000+08:002006-08-14T12:04:00.000+08:00I used to say, before it happened to me, what on e...I used to say, before it happened to me, what on earth makes a woman stay after that has happened? I used to think she must accept it and maybe even want it.<BR/><BR/>How foolish I was. Only when it happened did I know why they stay. Like I did. He actually managed to strip a piece of me away that night, he taught me that night to like myself even less. <BR/><BR/>Maybe that's why it was almost a year until I could make him leave. Even though I knew by doing so, I was driving him to his grave as noone wanted him and he was so far into the bottle there was noone who ever would.<BR/><BR/>It was his third suicide attempt that made me see I was out of my depth with him. And in a place where the gutter was fast coming up to meet us both. I chose not to go down with him.<BR/><BR/>I do, though, often wonder if I couldn't have done more (though what that 'more' would have been I'm not sure). <BR/><BR/>But yes, I do understand women (and men) who stay.<BR/><BR/>Sunny...."sane rage"....my god that's exactly it!!!!Fionahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00727596416170770024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30724218.post-1155527212429788052006-08-14T11:46:00.000+08:002006-08-14T11:46:00.000+08:00My heart filled with tears when I read this post.....My heart filled with tears when I read this post...I know/love several women who have experienced what you have, I suppose we all do, I also know and love two men who have been abused by women in those so-called rages...I know many more who live with emotional abuse...all abuse is evil...no matter the kind...many things happen to allow us to live with it...I don't know how to end it, I don't know how to help those who need to leave...all I know is that with time some do....they discover their goodness maybe?...they discover that internal sense of self that is finally able to say NO MORE. They discover their own sane rage.<BR/><BR/>As to insanity...I cannot look back on the Andrea Yates case or any other of its type, and think that there was any kind of sanity at play there. As I read Miranda's comment about the death penalty..I too have been at the point where I thought death was the only answer...but is it?...For those who commit such evil, and KNOW they did so...is not living with it daily the ultimate punishment?Sunny Delighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09813476500121784003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30724218.post-1155257354994351062006-08-11T08:49:00.000+08:002006-08-11T08:49:00.000+08:00aaaah Miranda, yes it has. It didn't right at the...aaaah Miranda, yes it has. It didn't right at the time but since then it has. There can never be any excuse for it.<BR/><BR/>Steve that's terrible. There's always somewhere to go, it's just that we don't always go. It's a complex thing.<BR/><BR/>Hello again Polyman *S*....it only happened that once, but his psychological abuse lasted right up until the day he died. It's strange how people can choose to hurt the one person who wants to help - I should have seen that he hated me for trying to help I suppose.Fionahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00727596416170770024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30724218.post-1155242114018717792006-08-11T04:35:00.000+08:002006-08-11T04:35:00.000+08:00Poor girl, no one should be a victim to that kind ...Poor girl, no one should be a victim to that kind of rage. My Dad was a physical person, my Mom always excused him because he was a soldier all 4 years of WW2 (As if that gave him a right to hit us)<BR/>There comes a point when you must take responsibility for your own actions. That is why I detest lawyers and their lying game called court.Polyman2https://www.blogger.com/profile/07452451405966696262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30724218.post-1155237500012891772006-08-11T03:18:00.000+08:002006-08-11T03:18:00.000+08:00OMG...that is despicable!And it reminds me of the ...OMG...that is despicable!<BR/><BR/>And it reminds me of the time my mom was beaten by a man brutally...over and over and over he hit her face while she was in the passenger side of her own car...and he was driving. She had no where to go. He was such a big man in size too. I remember the rage I felt towards him...and years, years later, I was in a little bar in his tiny home town... with friends of mine that played in a band that night there... and I couldn't wait to see him again... just bump into him... boy, what I would have done to him! And, he probably would not have even known what I was talking about when I ripped his fucking head off! Good thing nothing ever came of that.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07939406430839269166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30724218.post-1155221196048801072006-08-10T22:46:00.000+08:002006-08-10T22:46:00.000+08:00I can't even imagine what you had gone through. *b...I can't even imagine what you had gone through. *big hugs* It has obviously made you stronger.<BR/><BR/>This is such a controversial topic. Im sorry, in cases like that I do believe in the death penalty. If however, its self defence, then no.Miahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04627424780088354460noreply@blogger.com