The Eyes Have It

John Williams - Awesome!

2009-11-04T09:51:00.008+08:00

Steve and I went to see him in concert yesterday evening. What an incredible two hours it was!

He captivated us with each piece he played in a wide-ranging programme:

Vivaldi (Arr. by John Williams) - Concerto in D, Op. 3, No. 9, RV230
Scarlatti (Arr. by John Williams) - Sonata in F-sharp Minor, K448, Sonata in A Minor, K175
Granados (Arr. by John Williams) - Valses Poeticos, H147
Albéniz (Arr. by John Williams) - Torre Bermeja from 12 Piezas Caracteristics, Op. 92
John Williams - Notes in the Margin
Mangoré - La Catedral
Sculthorpe - Djilile
J. T. Williams (Arr. by John Williams) - Theme from The Schindler's List
Morricone (Arr. by John Williams) - Theme from Cinema Paradiso
Myers (Arr. by John Williams) - Cavatina from The Deer Hunter
John Williams - Prelude to a Song, Open End, Song without Words, Hello Francis
Traditional Irish Tunes (Arr. by John Williams) - Carolan’s Concerto, The Little and Great Mountain, The Bottom of the Punchbowl, Jackson’s Morning Brush

Cavatina was one of my Dad's all-time favourite pieces of music.

When one man, sitting with a guitar on the vast expanse of a concert stage, can enthrall the way he did, that is an incredible gift.

Bravo, Mr. Williams!

Beautiful and Moving

2009-10-30T11:17:00.002+08:00

The Story Behind Our Photo of Grieving Chimps
Posted Oct 29,2009

The November issue of National Geographic magazine features a moving photograph of chimpanzees watching as one of their own is wheeled to her burial. Since it was published, the picture and story have gone viral, turning up on websites and TV shows and in newspapers around the world. For readers who’d like to know more, here’s what I learned when I interviewed the photographer, Monica Szczupider.

On September 23, 2008, Dorothy, a female chimpanzee in her late 40s, died of congestive heart failure. A maternal and beloved figure, Dorothy had spent eight years at Cameroon’s Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Center, which houses and rehabilitates chimps victimized by habitat loss and the illegal African bushmeat trade.

After a hunter killed her mother, Dorothy was sold as a “mascot” to an amusement park in Cameroon. For the next 25 years she was tethered to the ground by a chain around her neck, taunted, teased, and taught to drink beer and smoke cigarettes for sport. In May 2000 Dorothy—obese from poor diet and lack of exercise—was rescued and relocated along with ten other primates. As her health improved, her deep kindness surfaced. She mothered an orphaned chimp named Bouboule and became a close friend to many others, including Jacky, the group’s alpha male, and Nama, another amusement-park refugee.

Szczupider, who had been a volunteer at the center, told me: “Her presence, and loss, was palpable, and resonated throughout the group. The management at Sanaga-Yong opted to let Dorothy's chimpanzee family witness her burial, so that perhaps they would understand, in their own capacity, that Dorothy would not return. Some chimps displayed aggression while others barked in frustration. But perhaps the most stunning reaction was a recurring, almost tangible silence. If one knows chimpanzees, then one knows that [they] are not [usually] silent creatures."

Sanaga-Yong was founded in 1999 by veterinarian Sheri Speede (pictured at right, cradling Dorothy’s head; at left is center employee Assou Felix). Operated by IDA-Africa, an NGO, it’s home to 62 chimps who reside in spacious, forested enclosures.

Szczupider submitted the photograph to Your Shot, a magazine feature that encourages readers to send in pictures they've taken. The best are published on the website and in the magazine.

—Jeremy Berlin

Closure.....and Closure

2009-10-19T16:52:00.008+08:00

We scattered my mother's ashes yesterday, in the same place we scattered my father's ashes, almost four years earlier. It's hard to believe so much time has passed. And time it was, as my mum had been sitting in my closet for almost two years.

The reverend read from Corinthians, focusing on the love between my parents, followed by a short prayer and then he read the same poem that I'd read at my dad's service (not sure if that was a coincidence or he'd taken note of it as I remember him asking me for a copy on the day I read it). We closed with the traditional hymn for those connected with the sea, "Eternal Father, Strong to Save" (aka "For Those in Peril on the Sea") and a short silence for personal 'prayer'.

Ashes, that is all that remains. I like to think that scattering these in the same place we scattered my father's ashes, has reunited them.

It was a carbon copy of my dad's service, same reverend, same people (less two or three out of town) and the same loving feeling of celebrating a revered person now lost from our lives. It is always interesting to me how people saw my parents, with so much of the warmth seeming to come from my father while my mother is more usually described as humorous. Which is, in reflection, pretty much how it was for their children.

The rose I cast forth was crossed by the rose my sister then cast forth - not sure about the significance, other than read on.....

Well, that was the first closure. On this trip, Rhona has ceased to be anything to me. She has once again dissolved into the most ridiculous intoxicated drama queen, has lashed out at me repeatedly and stepped way over any line I can ever tolerate. Some highlights of Saturday evening, where she turned up for dinner with her drunk hat on:

First there was the fact that she 'killed' my notebook by dropping it on the floor the night before - and made it my fault for mentioning it to her. Oh and also claimed she hadn't broken it.

Then there were histrionics about 'burying my mother tomorrow'. This from the woman who couldn't be bothered to go and spend Christmas with her mother even knowing it would be her last (and was only 5 hours away).

I was also to blame for not inviting our brother to the service the next day, even though she had agreed to take care of inviting people the week before. Not that he could come anyway, but I should have contacted him because she's not close to him. I'm not.

Apparently I had forced her to do things she wasn't good at, like making some of the arrangements for the service. Oh excuse me, I never realised I was so skilled at funeral arrangements.

Oh and let's not forget the "fucking vicar" she had to contact. Ummmm and agreed to when we discussed everything. (Please remember all this was being said/shouted in a restaurant and the F word was being used very liberally).

She hates the power I have over her. Well if there is any power, she has self-appointed it and plays into it. For example she hasn't bothered to open her own bank account where she can put her inheritance money so it's still in my account. Which means that every time she needs money, she has to ask me. And I transfer it to her with no question. She has given me that power (which I neither use nor abuse) and now resents me for having it.

There was much more, so much more, such as the favour she had done for me in keeping the business running/running it into the ground, whichever way you want to look at it. And that I hadn't ever bothered with the 'accounts' she sent me - hardly relevant as accounts when they failed to record any of the substantial amounts of cash I continued to inject into the business.

The pièce de résistance, however, was the fact that I am not looking after Lupo properly (in her book) because, apparently, I'm a "fucking fat lazy cow". Nice one don't you think? This is after I get up at 5:30am to walk him, make sure he has two long walks a day and also that he has a couple of evening walks and always one just before bed. But because I don't personally take him on every single walk (pretty hard to do when one is working, I have engaged the services of a dogwalker) I am a "fucking fat lazy cow".

At that point I got up, went and paid the bill and left with Steve and Lupo. We haven't spoken two words to each other since, not even at, or after, the service yesterday. She returns to Tenerife tomorrow, to fix up my apartment and remove herself and her asswipe boyfriend from it and a legacy of nine years of free rent. Finally, though she has some other business to take care of over there and I reminded her of that.

As the saying goes: Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Untitled Visuals

2009-10-11T16:57:00.023+08:00

My Boys

2009-10-02T10:36:00.006+08:00

Update 5 October:

The vet game me some appetite stimulants for Lupo yesterday and he ate, and enjoyed, his first complete meal since he arrived. Note to self: Wash fingers after handling those tablets if they can do what they did for Lupo in the space of a couple of hours!!

The boys arrived in fairly good form a week ago.

Toffee has settled in to what must seem like heaven - love, food, attention, love, food, attention.

Lupo, my darling, beautiful, amazing boy, however, isn't doing very well. He hasn't eaten a proper meal since arriving, subsisting on some hand-fed food, some treats and not too much more. I'm taking him to the vet on Sunday (am back at work today and yesterday and tomorrow are holidays here so no vet).

He's happy when at the beach and swimming, running or the ever-popular frisbee-catching, good when resting at home (yes, I let him on our bed and sofa), but morose the rest of the time.

Thank goodness he's still drinking lots of water.

Rhona and I differ on our approach to this lost appetite. I favour finding things he WILL eat and if necessary hand-feeding him. She shouts at him when he doesn't eat from his dish and orders him around. She is using this very slow adjustment to his new life to chastise him for not eating and then telling Steve (she wouldn't dare say this to me) that she will take him back with her.

The climate is not what he's used to, I now find out that she's back with the asshole boyfriend who has a dog which is Lupo's buddy, he's in all new surroundings. It will take time for him to settle into his new life without his regular buddy and which cannot include three-hour outings every day - as I explained to her, noone can sustain that and have a job. I had to bite my tongue so as not to say "and have their rent paid for them for almost nine years".

Steve adores him, he adores Steve. They even went for an after-dinner walk/run yesterday which was so good for them both to be together like that. Of course Rhona had to use it against me as being yet more proof I'm not looking after Lupo. I slapped her down with just one sentence - a reminder that only under her care, had the poor dog pooped in his own home, a source of awful embarrassment for one of the cleanest dogs I've ever known. And the reason for that embarrassment? She slept through his crying to be taken out with a sore tummy. No doubt a wine-induced slumber.

Fingers crossed we can sort out his eating. I will sit on the floor and hand-feed him every kind of meat he loves, to get him over this. I hope the vet can help, too. It saddens me more than I can say, to see him like this.

Yipppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2009-09-21T17:06:00.004+08:00

My boys are arriving on Thursday. THIS Thursday evening!

Bowls and mats, beds, litter box and litter, dry and wet food, brushes, poop bags, litter scooper, all purchased. And I have a very nice piece of rump steak in the freezer for Lupo's first dinner.

We're ready for them!

Oh, and my sister is arriving the same day (on an earlier flight). I've found a nice little studio apartment for her for a month and I'll meet her off an early flight in the morning. Settle her in, then we'll have Korean BBQ for lunch. A short familiarisation trip around Discovery Bay.

And I'm hoping and praying the boys survive their long travel in good health and no stress on their mental state.

I can't wait to have them back in my life! And Steve is looking forward to having them in his life. He and Lupo already get on so incredibly well :)

We're hoping my sister behaves while she's here.

Another milestone - Steve celebrated one year of living in Hong Kong, with me, yesterday. We got sozzled on a jug of very strong sangria at a little place overlooking the bay, then gorged on HUGE burgers at another restaurant, thankfully inside in the air-con - it is still UNBEARABLY hot here. We then went home with hangovers - I do not recommend copious amounts of sangria consumed in the extreme heat!

Weeping Glacier

2009-09-04T08:27:00.003+08:00

From the UK online newspaper website MailOnline.

At first glimpse it looks like any other glacier you might find in the freezing Arctic wastes of Norway.

But on closer inspection an eerie face is depicted in the melting ice wall that appears to be crying a river of tears.

The forlorn-looking 'Mother Nature' figure appeared to locals during a thaw, with the melting ice and snow falling towards the sea below.

The striking image of the Austfonna ice cap, located on Nordaustlandet in the Svalbard archipelago, would seem certain to be heavily used by environmentalists protesting against climate change.

My World As I Know It, Ends Today

2009-09-03T08:11:00.011+08:00

After resisting company 'policy' for a couple of years, I have given in, folded, acquiesced. Today I will be issued with a new 'device' to replace my little buddy, the cell phone.

Now, while I do understand these things help us keep in touch and up to date, sometimes I feel I don't need to keep in touch or be quite so up to date. I kind of liked the reasoning that I didn't answer your email out of office hours quite simply because I didn't read it until returning to work the next day. I liked the fact that quite honestly if it was life or death urgent, you could press some numbers on YOUR BB and speak to me on MY CELL PHONE about it.

But, alas and alack, I am about to become one of the legion of BB owners who can't seem to go to a meeting, sit and have a coffee, stop and smell the roses, without scrolling and jabbing at these things. Personally I find it exceptionally rude to be in a meeting and not quite BE in a meeting because of distractions like this and I will NOT be taking mine into meetings. I do still plan to sit and sip on a delicious, soothing latte and I will not stop smelling roses - and preferably freesias and white ginger flowers.

Whatever the good of this upgrade may be, I am all too aware that the expectation of what I do in my free time (limited though it is) has quite definitely changed forever.

R I P

A New Outlook

2009-08-24T15:51:00.010+08:00

Finally, a couple of photos of the view from our new apartment (click to enlarge):

This photo shows the view over the bay with the beach to the middle-left. The monstrosity appearing just in front of the beautiful mountains is a new 5-star hotel, left half-built since last year. In front of the curved building are some lovely bay-side restaurants and on the right of it is the ferry pier.

A slightly hazy day but you can see in the distance, the business centre of Hong Kong, with Hong Kong Island on the right and the Kowloon peninsula on the left and the harbour flowing between. The first island to the right is Peng Chau, originally a little fishing village but now it's a little commuter island (with some very good local restaurants I've heard).

It's a far cry from the view we left behind:

Quickie

2009-07-20T11:34:00.002+08:00

Hello to those who haven't given up dropping by, after all there's really not much to see around these parts at the moment. Sorry about that but life just seems so full right now. So onto the update:

1. Boys came, boys saw, boys conquered. We all had a great time, especially them. They loved Thailand! It was great getting to know them and I was particularly taken by the older boy who was just so hungry for the experience and got so much out of this trip.

2. Found a new apartment. Stunning, and I mean STUNNING views. A balcony for Lupo and I've been arranging furniture in my head for two weeks! We move in on the 28th. It will mean a 30-minute ferry ride to and from where I work but it's worth it, to be with Lupo again.

3. Lupo and Toffee are now slated to travel end of August - Rhona again threw a spanner in the works by not getting Lupo's rabies jab done in time for an end of July travel date.

4. Bought a new bed. Super duper bed. Individual pocketed springs. And added memory foam Tempur Millenium pillows to the package. Wish I could afford a memory foam mattress but those babies are expensive!!! Heck the pillows were US$150 each but my goodness they feel incredible!

5. Survived a direct hit from a typhoon over the weekend. Bit of an odd one as some places reported nothing more than a spot of wind and rain, while other places had trees down and property damage. For us, up on the 35th floor in Mid-Levels, it sounded like the air-conditioner was going to be blown on top of us. Howling, screaming wind for about three hours during the night.

6. Will try and get a bit better with my posting - and with pics. Must show you all our new view once we're settled.

Hope all is well in everyone's universe, I do try to keep up with you and post on your blogs when I can.

The Adventure Begins....Truly

2009-06-17T15:45:00.008+08:00

UPDATE 2:30pm 18 June - they're all here, finally.

A volcanic island in the north Pacific is causing air travellers consternation as a massive plume of volcanic ash clouds the skies thousands of feet above the volcano, making air travel impossible.

Northern Pacific flights bound for Japan, Shanghai and Korea are being cancelled or rerouted due to volcanic ash spewing from the Russian volcano, Sarychev Peak.

Well, the boys are having their first adventure and they haven't even arrived yet.

Due to Sarychev Peak on Matua Island in the Russian Kuril Islands blowing its top, flights to Asia on the northerly route (as in Detroit to Tokyo) are being diverted. The boys ended up in San Francisco after leaving Detroit, to make another connection onto Tokyo. This, unfortunately, means missing their Tokyo connection to Hong Kong later today. We had checked that the boys were safely on the Detroit to Tokyo flight and only found out early this morning from a call they made to their mother upon arrival in San Francisco.

So it was all battlestations and trying to find out what was going on as Northwest had done nothing to contact us to alert us as to the issue. They gave me one option - they would book them into a hotel in Tokyo on arrival, with the airline continuing to be responsible for them, and make sure they're on the next flight out. That next flight out, however, is tomorrow at the same time, meaning they'd be stranded in Tokyo for about 22 hours. On their first trip out of country.

Well, as you can imagine I wasn't impressed by any of this so put my points forward in a rational, measured way. A few calls later, they finally patched me through to a Manager. I must say he was very helpful and only raised my hackles once, by saying that the airline felt this was an acceptable solution. I said, with all due respect, that wasn't the airline's decision as to what is acceptable for my husband's children, without any sort of consultation. I was willing to meet them more than half-way, by taking care of Steve's flights to and from Tokyo, the overnight accommodation, and only asking that they make sure all three are on the flight back to Hong Kong tomorrow. Due to overbooking (they are taking all missed connections onto that flight), they could not give him a seat on the same plane as the boys. After some negotiation, they put the boys on a Japan Airlines flight tomorrow (not bad considering they are flying on mileage points and airlines don't like inter-line transfers for that type of ticket) which I was able to match with Steve's ticketing arrangements.

Result - Steve is now on his way to Tokyo to meet the boys off the plane (he'll get there about an hour before they do), take them into his care and spend the night with them. The earliest connection is on Japan Airlines tomorrow at 9:55am so they are all booked on that.

Another expense in an expensive month, but it was the only acceptable solution. Poor Steve was pretty upset about all this but several phone calls to Northwest, some magic from my wonderful travel agent and a quick trip to the bank for some Yen, all is solved.

As I said to him, for the boys this will be another adventure for them to talk about when they get home!

Countdown - One Week

2009-06-10T07:30:00.002+08:00

In exactly one week, Steve's boys will arrive for their three-week summer break with us. We'll be doing loads of touristy and non-touristy things here, chomping through food both known and as yet unknown to the boys, traipsing around malls and outlets and markets.

As part of their holiday we're spending six days in Phuket, at the Banyan Tree. That will be a little different from our honeymoon trip, with an 11 year-old and a days-shy-of-15 year-old. There will be no skinny dipping in the pool, for one thing.

I'm excited and just a little trepidacious. While we've talked on the phone and web-cammed a little, we've never been in the same room together. My fervent wish is that, by the time they leave, they will think of me as their friend. And I shall have gained two more.

Steve, needless to say, is counting the minutes!

Eye Eye

2009-05-22T16:03:00.000+08:00

Isn't it amazing, the fun you can have with a half-filled water bottle!

Deb Is Gone

2009-05-20T10:45:00.007+08:00

Debby Greer-Costello

Deb was an incredible person and everyone who knew her was blessed by having her in their lives. She is gone too soon but put up an incredible fight against leukemia, and showed more courage, dignity and humour, than I've ever witnessed. She leaves behind her parents, brothers and sisters, and a beautiful nine year-old daughter, Zoe.

When I first 'found' Deb's blog, she was full of vim and vigour, a strong, enabled, lovable kinda gal who wasn't shy about sharing her ups and downs in navigating her world. In 2005 she shared with us, her leukemia diagnosis and we followed through her initial treatments, the good times when she seemed to have this thing beaten, and then sadly how it reached deep into her and grabbed her back. She fought it, my god but she fought it.

Your fight was long and hard, Deb, and you gave everything you had, even in the last days. I'm grateful to your sister Jenna who so kindly, despite her own pain at seeing her sister suffer, shared with us how things were going, to keep us in your life, when you no longer could communicate to us all through your blog.

Deb, you will be missed. And never forgotten.

As We Look Back Over Time

As we look back over time

We find ourselves wondering .....

Did we remember to thank you enough

For all you have done for us?

For all the times you were by our sides

To help and support us .....

To celebrate our successes

To understand our problems

And accept our defeats?

Or for teaching us by your example,

The value of hard work, good judgement,

Courage and integrity?

We wonder if we ever thanked you

For the sacrifices you made.

To let us have the very best?

And for the simple things

Like laughter, smiles and times we shared?

If we have forgotten to show our

Gratitude enough for all the things you did,

We're thanking you now.

And we are hoping you knew all along,

How much you meant to us.

~ Clare Jones ~

Food Glorious Food

2009-04-28T18:32:00.008+08:00

Someone wrote on my fridge - "I miss your food posts, have you eaten lately?" I wonder who that might be!

Actually yes, I've definitely eaten lately but it all comes down to Steve loading the pics onto Flickr so that I can post them here. Problem is, he's a perfectionist when it comes to his photos and wants to crop and brighten and contrast them some, before he's happy with revealing them.

Let's see. We have pics of an incredible Valentine's Day Dinner at The Verandah, we have pics of tapas and sangria at Mija's by the bay (two or three visits), we have multiple pics of many dim sum meals, we have pics of roast goose at Lippo Chiu Chow, we have pics of dinner at Chang's, we have pics of a magnificent anniversary meal at Spring Moon, we have pics of birthday dinner (both of our birthdays) Wagyu beef at Felix's, we have pics of afternoon tea in The Lobby. I think we might even have a pic of me eating deep fried pig intestines at the flower market during Chinese New Year. And more I can't even remember right now!

So, yes, I've definitely eaten. Now I need to figure out how to get Steve to give me access to his pics. I'm cooking Sausage, Onions and Peppers with Linguine tonight so that will help. Then there's my special Tortolini and Eight Vegetable Soup tomorrow. Maybe a Boeuf Bourguignon on Saturday, or perhaps another visit to Mija's this weekend. Now THAT should give me some bartering power ;)

All I have to share right now is our last dim sum lunch with friends and new babies, at the City Hall (pics untouched and released only because of pressure from those who attended and couldn't wait for the edited versions) . . . . . .

This is Steve's No. 1 Dim Sum Auntie, she' totally besotted with him and runs around getting him whatever he wants, even before he wants it! Here she is with his 'mongo poodeen' (mango pudding). She wants to take him to a mountain on the island she comes from - I'm still working out what that might be code for, in her Guangdong Hakka dialect.

And here we have No. 1 Dim Sum Auntie and No. 2 Dim Sum Auntie, driving their carts - fried items to the left and steamed items to the right.

And at the end of the meal, all 12 of us were sated. But I think Steve managed to finish the Yeung Chau Chow Faan anyway :) That's a little chicken foot in the foreground, which would have been in front of Anuja!

Rockraiser and Weekend Getaway

2009-04-24T10:52:00.002+08:00

On Saturday, Cyberport in Hong Kong will be rocking to the sounds of the 2009 Rockraiser Festival. And Steve and I will be there rocking right along with some of the best bands and singers from Hong Kong and Beijing. All for a good cause, to help disadvantaged children in Nepal.

I decided to make a weekend of it and we'll be admiring the beautiful Lamma Channel view from a bed just like that, on Saturday and Sunday. The bath also boasts a sea view and I'll be into that in a flash! I just hope the weather improves as we've been having some VERY grey and rainy days recently.

It's only about 20 minutes from home but as soon as I saw that room, I wanted to spend some time there - and being in the business, I got a rock-bottom rate which was just too good to miss.

It has been a very busy couple of weeks and there are loads of photos to document it all, if only Steve would load them up, I'd let you take a look. Steve, my love, how about it ;)

Thank You

2009-04-16T14:47:00.004+08:00

To whomever took the time to drag and drop all those letters onto my fridge, not to mention re-gendering it to fit the words being about me:

"when she is silent your heart ceases not to listen to her heart"

From 'The Prophet - On Friendship' by Khalil Gibran

Being in HR

2009-04-03T11:37:00.005+08:00

Being in HR has ups and downs, we get involved in the happy news such as marriages and births of children but we also get involved in the sad news. The family losses, the medical interventions, the deaths by accident, suicide, illness.

Today, I have just been informed that the daughter of a colleague in another department is suffering from a rare genetic disorder, so rare (1 in 500,000 children) that I won't mention what it is here as a search by him would probably throw up this post. She started off at age 5 with diabetes, then came news of the disintegration of her optic nerve, now it's urinary damage. When the doctors added these together, they came up with a diagnosis that has chilled us all to the bone. The little girl will celebrate her 10th birthday next month and the prognosis is that she won't live beyond 30. And the years between now and then will be filled with a steady deterioration of her body, including her nervous system.

The parents are devastated because so very sadly, she has this disease due to a recessive gene they both possess but which exhibits only mild symptoms, if any, for the parents. The horrible feelings of self-blame are obviously running rampant with them. And there lies in hospital right now, a little, almost-10-year-old girl, sinking into the depression which is another symptom of the disease.

My role will be to help in whatever way I can emotionally and in the administration of their medical benefits. Thankfully I believe our insurance will mean that is one worry they won't have. My colleague is off work for the week ahead, at least, and here I sit trying to plug work flow holes and start on the medical paperwork. In the weeks to come, I'll be sitting with him, offering my professional and personal support. And right now I'm struck by the memory of the joy of this first-time dad presenting me with her birth certificate, just less than 10 years ago.

My heart aches.

A Quickie

2009-04-01T14:16:00.008+08:00

Just so everyone knows I'm still around, a quick update:

Foreigner concert was very good - their new lead singer has an amazing talent. And just think, he was discovered on YouTube.

Coldplay concert was diabolically good - they played to a rip-roaring crowd of 11,000 and did something I've never seen before - they relocated from the main stage to waaaaaaaaaaay back in the cheap seats, to play a set there on a tiny stage with just guitars and the tiniest keyboard I've ever seen. What a wonderful way to let those less able to pay top dollar for the prime seats, get close to them, too.

Weekend retreat was wonderful, there's really nothing like staying at a five-star hotel and being spoiled silly - helps, too, when you're on the executive floor and the 24-hour lounge delivers a wonderful spread during the day of breakfast, snacks, cocktails and dessert, all alongside a free-pour bar with juices, sodas, waters, wines, spirits - and champagne in the evening.

Working extra hard, and have been for the past two months, trying to keep everything done and done seamlessly, with my boss now having been away for two months - only three more weeks to go!!

Have endured so much keyboarding lately that my hand pain forced me to the doctor today - I'm diagnosed with tendinitis in both wrists - apart from the muscle relaxant, anti-inflammatory (and resulting anti-acid) he also recommended moving my keyboard from the under-desk drawer to onto my desktop. Now I have to work out how to find some space for it in this almighty mess!!

My sister has demanded another reprieve and I've given her until August 1 to release my babes to me. And told her to get the balance of the money owed for the sale of the dive centre and do something with the apartment so it's ready to rent/sell. She's pushed me to being mean.

My mother's ashes are still sitting in my spare room. Neither sibling has raised the matter, neither seems too bothered. It has been over a year now. Not too sure if I should just hire a boat one weekend and scatter her where we scattered my dad's ashes.

Speaking of my mum, we continue to pay council tax, electricity, insurance, etc., on the house and so I mentioned to my brother (who took on responsibility for the sale of the house) that maybe we need to at least look at renting it out during the summer, it's a perfect vacation house, and all I got was 'good idea'.....and then nothing else. ../.. is my typed equivalent of giving him the bird.

Counting down to the boys coming over and there are so many things planned for them, I'm sure they'll have a brilliant time here. And to be honest I'm really looking forward to the peace and tranquility of the pool villa at Banyan Tree, again.

Apartment prices continue to drop and I think we'll go into a serviced apartment for a while, until Lupo comes over and while the boys are here, that way we're not 'out in the sticks' for their visit and if I go into one of my company's residential complexes, the facilities are awesome for them.

We celebrated our first anniversary last week and all I can say is that I continue to grow in love with my husband. We tolerate, and even laugh at, each other's flaws and celebrate in big ways, the love we share. Happy, happy, happy us :)

Doubly Blessed

2009-03-11T08:36:00.005+08:00

T1 born at 1240pm, just over 6 lbs.

T2 born at 1242 pm, just under 6 lbs.

My bestest friend, my chosen sister, gave birth last week, to twins. These beautiful boys came to their parents on 3rd March, after several years of trying to conceive. I'm overjoyed and in total wonder of the strength and passion of my dear friend. And what a wonderful end result of all the hard work.

She's an amazing mother to her first-born, and will be an equally-amazing mother to her two new boys. And while she may have wanted at least one girl, I know why she has been blessed with three boys - because seeing how her first-born is turning out, her gift to the world is raising such amazing little men. And the world needs more of those.

They are so perfect and so beautiful, and I'm so proud of her.

Communication With My Sister ~Updated~

2009-03-03T07:08:00.010+08:00

Update 9 March:

I got a very curt text "Am sending vacs 2morrow, promise", from Rhona. No 'love', no 'xxx' but that's OK because right now I just want their vaccination records. So, onwards we move with all this :)

Email from my sister last night:

fion.......this is hard.............i cannot face losing lupo at the moment so i am pleading with you to let me hang on to him for a bit longer..................there is no fear that kirk is coming back as he is with someone else and i cannot handle this fion (i really mean that) to lose him right now............i just cant fion........so please give me a couple more months with him as he is all i have and cannot bare the huge loss.....please try and understand fion but without him in the immediate future it will tip me over the edge i hope you will understand Rhonxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My reply to her:

I don't like this Rhon, you have Shaz, you want to make plans to go to Edinburgh, you want to try and get a job. That means that you won't be able to look after Lupo the way you have been.

You have to stop using Kirk as a reason for not doing things, for stopping your life. There is always the chance that they'll change the rabies rating for Canary Islands and then I'll be stuck. I am making the changes necessary for Lupo in my own life, I have made that commitment.

To be honest it really pisses me off that even when he's gone, Kirk continues to rule our lives like this. You say a few more months, you got that already Rhon, this is just going to go on and on....you went to a counsellor well I would hope he/she can help you to manage this life situation.

I don't like this 'threat' either Rhon, about tipping you over the edge, to be honest. We've been there before, if you recall, when I flew over to Tenerife right after getting a phone call, to find you all hunky dory when I got there. Lupo is not all you have, you have your own dog too and I want some time with Lupo.

Rhon, it's called getting a grip and you really need to get a grip. If you're that mentally imbalanced, it makes me want to have Lupo more. But do not use him as a pawn. An agreement was made and I'm expecting you to hold up your side of that agreement. I gave into you just a month or so ago but now I'm expecting you to honour your word to me. I am not prepared to bend on this one Rhon.

Love Fionxxxx

I am tired of her theatrics. I've lived with them for many years. From hearing of her 4am calls to my parents in Hong Kong, when she was living in London, telling them that she was going to take her own life. To her inability to make a living and being supported by my parents and myself, to her overdosing on valium (turned out she hadn't) a few years ago and me rushing over to Tenerife on the next flight out to find her all jovial and gulping down the wine with her then loser boyfriend (she has quite a track record of them). To her theatrics at my dad's funeral - I don't think I'll ever forget her throwing her UTI drugs at my mother on the day and telling her that she'd need them more than she did, merely because an old boyfriend of my mother's (and friend of my father's) came to the funeral and my mum was chatting with him. To finding a bloody great hole in one of the doors in my apartment, which she's been living in rent-free for over eight years, marking when she lost her temper and kicked a door in. To visiting last year and finding one of her friends had painted my living room bright yellow and hadn't even bothered to move a bookcase so he painted around it. And the epitome of her bad behaviour, the way she treated Steve and I, but particularly Steve, when we visited last year. There are so many other things I'm tired of even remembering.

It's hard to describe her relationship with me, when she drinks there are things she says which tell me she hates me with a passion, not just the words but the vitriol in her voice, the anger in her face. If I move away from her because of this, she turns all whimpering and apologetic and is fearful of losing me (her words).

An example: When I was about 10 and she was five, I was taken to the dentist with a bad tooth. He basically took a hammer and chisel to it and battered it out of my mouth. I was, naturally, in hysterics and my sister was listening to my screams in the waiting room. Until last year, she actually went over 15 years without visiting the dentist and blames me for that. She tells me that it is my fault because she heard me screaming all those years ago. The little hole in her argument is that before the 15-year run, she did go to the dentist. But it's convenient to blame me for her bad dental hygiene for the past 15 years (she finally went last year and had almost lost her teeth by then) and even at that point, she blamed that on me. She loves to recount this story of me being to blame for her teeth. If it wasn't so ridiculous and sad, it might be a little funny.

Am I being too tough, am I tipping her 'over the edge'? I honestly don't know but I'm pig-sick of pandering to her wants and needs and putting her first. Just plain sick of it. To be honest I want my dog and cat back, I want my apartment back. I want that part of my life back. She's my sister and I'll always love her and I want her as a part of my life, but not this big a part of it. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of who she is and what she expects from me.

"You Can Shave Doll"

2009-03-02T15:45:00.005+08:00

Thank you Charmed for a great laugh today.

Get a load of that bush! LOL

The Chinese do actually think the "gwai los" are hairy. But THAT hairy??!!??

A Conversation With My Sister

2009-02-26T09:57:00.009+08:00

My sister texted me - Fion, can you call me please. I didn't pick it up until the next morning so I texted her back and told her that and asked what was up. Her return text was - never mind, everything's fine.

So, at my 7am, her 11pm, I call. What prevented her from calling instead of texting, I don't know, unless she's in arrears on her phone bills again and they've locked her international call facility.

Me: Hi Rhon, what's up.

My sister: I'm depressed Fion, no work, Kirk left me again, I don't know what to do with my life. I'm sitting at home all day.

Me: I'm glad he's not around anymore, he's very bad news.

My sister: Well, he's gone for good this time.

Me: Uh huh, like the last five times? You know you'll take him back if he wants to psychologically bully you some more. And that's the worst kind of bullying, that noone sees, that you pretend you don't see. I hate to say this but I almost wish he would give you a black eye because that might help you understand what he's doing to you, invisibly, and you also wouldn't be able to explain that away so easily to your friends.

My sister: He loves me.

Me: Oh my god, he does not, Rhona. He sees you as someone he can get away with bullying and no matter how awful he is to you, you will let him back in. He picks at you, he even told you that he doesn't care about you.

My sister: He didn't mean it.

Me: You may think that and yes, it could be explained away as something said in the heat of the moment, the problem is that every one of his actions, supports exactly what he said.

My sister: I don't know. I'm going to a counselor tomorrow.

Me: A counselor doesn't see the interaction that goes on between the two of you, doesn't see the way he puts you down, doesn't see his manipulation of your drinking problems. Doesn't see how he goads you on until you do something irrational and then when you do that, he blames you for doing it. And you don't tell the truth about any of these things, you always excuse his atrocious behaviour and buy into his story of it being your fault. I know, I've witnessed it first hand and have talked about this to you more than once.

My sister: *Silence*

Me: *Getting riled up* Rhona, you're 45, it's time you grew up and took responsibility for your choices and your decisions. Or at least make some. What are you planning to do?

My sister: I think I want to go to live in Edinburgh, rent a small apartment, get re-trained. As I'll only have Shaz (her Jack Russel) with me that will be easier. I'm going to miss Lupo so much.

Me: Well that's a start. I hope you understand that being re-trained doesn't mean you'll get a job as that would put you in the inexperienced batch of whatever you're being trained to do. And with unemployment what it is, you'd be up against a lot of people who have the experience. Quite honestly, maybe you should at least look at doing some waitressing again as a starting point.

My sister: Yes, that's a good idea but right now I have no work.

Me: I know but it's not like you're homeless or penniless so why don't you get out of the house and at least do some volunteer work.

My sister: Yes, I could do that, I just feel so depressed.

Me: Well moping around the house and drinking until you're sozzled every night won't help.

My sister: I know, Fion, I know.

Me: And for god's sake do not even think about letting that asshole back into your life. Move on from this now, once and for all and grab hold of your life.

My sister: He left me, I didn't leave him.

Me: Yup, I understand the difference but it's good he made that decision, now let him stick to it. Make him stick to it. Do not let him across the threshhold again.

My sister: I still don't know what to do about my money (her inheritance).

Me: Well, Rhona, that's another decision you have to make because I'm not making it for you. It's still sitting in my account and you could have had it in an interest-bearing account had you answered my email months and months ago.

My sister: I found one place a few weeks ago, with 3.4%, but I have to pay 20% tax.

Me: If they're still offering 3.4% that's pretty good but the world is changing every day so you'll have research it again. As for tax, well I know that will be a first for you but taxes are just part of life.

My sister: Fion, would you check on the internet....

Me: What? What? You've just told me you're sitting at home all day doing nothing, you know how damn busy I am and you are asking me to do that for you?

My sister: I don't have internet at home (no surprise) and I don't like going to internet cafes.

Me: Well I don't much like rolling out of bed at 6am but I do it because I have to. So don't ask me to do that for you when you know how busy my days are and you've admitted to sitting at home doing nothing all day.

My sister: OK OK don't get so angry at me, Fion.

Me: Well I am angry at you, Rhona. And frustrated. Angry that you continue to expect me to solve all your problems, angry that you continue to let someone mess with your head, angry that you expect me to drop things and help you out every time. I'm angry that I heard you pouring yourself another drink during this conversation. I'm frustrated with you wanting to keep playing the victim and expecting me to dig you out of every hole you find yourself in.

My sister: I'd better let you get to work.

Me: I'm at work, but yes, I need to get back to work. Good luck with the counselor. By the way, I'm still waiting for the company documents so I can close the contract with the seller and collect my final 10% (for the sale of the dive centre) and still waiting for the vaccination records for Lupo and Toffee.

My sister: OK. Bye now.

I'm impatient with her, I know, but I'm simply no longer able to, nor do I wish to, constantly be looked upon as her rescuer. A few months ago, I saw a book and bought it, to send to her. I've delayed doing that in case it was too hard for her to read. But I really think that now is the time. The list of symptoms on the back cover screamed out to me: This is Rhona.....

. a shaky sense of identity (check)
. sudden violent outbursts (check)
. oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection (check)
. brief, turbulent love affairs (check)
. frequent period of intense depression (check)
. eating disorders, drug abuse and other self-destructive tendencies (check)
. an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone (check)

It's about understanding Borderline Personality Disorder. So, do I read it to understand her better? Or do I send it to her so she understands herself better? Or maybe both?

As The World Turns ~ Updated ~

2009-02-23T16:24:00.006+08:00

Did someone crank up earth's orbital speed? Is it just me or are the days morphing into weeks and the weeks morphing into months? If I thought 2008 went by fast, it has nothing on the speed 2009 seems to be moving at!!

Some highlights for the next few months are:

٭ Arrival of my best friend's twin boys (March 10 or 12 under c-section) ٭

٭ Journey concert, Macau, 20th March ٭

٭ Coldplay concert, 25th March ٭

٭ Weekend luxury stay in a 5-star hotel suite 27th through 29th March ٭

٭ Easter - pondering a quick trip somewhere with hubby ٭

٭ Toffee and Lupo arrive on 15th April ٭

٭ By May 7 we have to find a new place to live ٭

٭ Steve's boys arrive 17th June for three weeks ٭

٭ On the 21st June we're all off to Phuket for a week ٭

And before I know it, half the year will be gone.

Is your world turning as fast as mine?

WTF...

2009-02-09T09:57:00.005+08:00

...is going on with the weather? It was 27C (80F) here yesterday, with more of the same today, and it's early February. Even for us, that's damned hot for this time of the year. We've had about six cold days this winter, and by cold I mean below 15C (60F).

I really don't understand it and certainly hope the temperature dips again, at least a little, otherwise we're in for an intolerably long summer. Every year, the winter gets shorter and while we already enjoy a temperate climate, pretty soon there won't be any really cold days. With our very hot and humid summers, they are something we look forward to - and the chance to break out our boots and winter woolies.

Probably not what those of you who have been knee-deep or more in snow, want to hear, but too much heat isn't that much fun either.