The Eyes Have It

Newness

2012-01-31T16:19:00.000+08:00

It's 2012, almost six years since I first wrote here.

I miss you my little blog, my escape, my sanctuary, my channel to express. And sometimes my rubber room.

Maybe with the New Year, 2012 and Year of the Dragon, I'll make time to come back and write again.

Happy New Year everyone and wishing you all and wonderful Year of the Dragon - a very auspicious year.

Pushing Off

2011-12-15T12:54:00.001+08:00

I sank to the bottom and felt like I was drowning.

Then I looked up and saw my reflection on the underside ofthe surface.

I saw the me I had become.

So I pushed off hard from the bottom, breaking through myown reflection.

Replacing it with the me I need to be.

Running My Fingers Across the Empty 'New Post' Box

2011-12-01T12:31:00.002+08:00

I miss writing here .....

.... and here....

and here.

A Dog Named Sam

2011-03-08T09:30:00.011+08:00

Warning: This is very, very hard to read. But everyone even thinking of buying a dog should read it. Everyone who has ever turned from rescue organisations and gone into a pet shop, should read it.

For Sam, and so very many dogs just like him.

Adopt, don't buy.

My Lupo (above, right, just after I found him and his brother dumped on the street) could have ended up just like Sam. And I can't begin to tell you how he has enhanced my life, and that of everyone who comes into contact with him. He gives me, and Steve, so much more than we would ever be able to give him.

I love my darling boy so very much!

Sadness

2011-01-17T18:20:00.004+08:00

I hired K way back in 1991, a young, quiet, sweet woman with a beautiful smile and gentle soul.

Five years ago, she came down with chronic lymphocytic leukaemia. Today, after a long and incredibly brave battle, we lost her, at 45. This is one of five cancer cases I'm dealing with, in a population of less than 180. It's way too many. She's the first one we've lost and it has hit us all very hard.

In HR there's so much to deal with, apart from the medical side over all these years, the sick leave, the hiring of a temp to keep her job open for when she was able to come to work over the years. And now, the death benefits, the administration of closing her file, ending her relationship with us.

As a company, we stood by her. As individuals, we stood by her. I'm proud of all of us for being who we were to K. But it's hard. I wish the outcome had been different. I wish we'd see her smile around here again. We will miss her.

RIP, K.

Patsy's Post

2010-12-23T14:08:00.007+08:00

Today, in my short trawl through my favourite blogs, I found Patsy's post.

And it made me think, long and hard, about love and finding love and growing in love and living in love and, well, about all the aspects of love.

Patsy referenced a movie she'd just watched and liked this quote:

That's just it. I don't know that Paolo's the love of my life, but I've decided to give him the chance to be. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying whether they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. Maybe it's something you have to choose.

I know I've been very silent here since Steve and I started our life together. Some of you may be wondering if everything is OK between us. I'm glad to say it's more than OK, it's wonderful in every sense.

I'm not saying it's perfect, goodness knows we have our ups and downs like everyone. We have our differences in opinion. It hasn't been an entirely smooth ride, I'm not breaking any confidences by saying this and I know Steve reads my blog, still. Tempers do flare, without a doubt, and we argue sometimes, too. But we have weathered all the little bumps with a great sense of humour, an understanding and an acceptance of all we are and always will be. As individuals and to each other.

I often reflect on the the slim thread of fate that brought us together, a thread that could so easily have broken before anything happened. I reflect, too, on our decisions and how they could have been different, or influenced, or even rejected by one or the other. Getting to the place of our future together was also fraught with obstacles and was not an easy journey. But we got there in the end and I still smile when I remember our trip to Santa Fe in March 2008. What started as an opportunity to spend a few days together ended up with us joined together for life.

Most of all, this imperfect woman reflects on the imperfect man I'm married to, and whom I will grow old with, and I thank my lucky stars that we're together. I still wake up during the night and look over at him, and smile. My heart is at peace. My present and my future are filled with affection and respect. Love binds, but love also frees.

At our wedding ceremony, the minister closed with this:

Apache Blessing:

Now you will feel less rain for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel less cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other. Now there is less loneliness, for each of you are companion to the other. Now you are two individual persons, yet there is a joined life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. May happiness be your companion and may your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness, which your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives; remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight. Go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your togetherness, and may your days be good and long together.

I loved the words, the ideology. We're living it now and to this, I say:

Hell, yeah!

Belated Food Post

2010-12-09T09:44:00.004+08:00

We hot-potted to our hearts' content last weekend, in celebration of a very wonderful man, my best friend's dad. I love spending time with my adopted family, not that they had any choice in adopting me, I adopted all of them :)

Hot pot is a wonderful meal option whereby you cook your own food - and food for others if you're so inclined - in a large boiling stockpot (or two) at the table. What you see there is about a quarter of the food we gorged upon.

Not for the faint-hearted though, those prawns resting on a bed of ice were still alive, despite having bamboo skewers up their arses!

Music, Beautiful Music

2010-12-06T11:55:00.003+08:00

We are being inundated with excellent live musical choices here right now.

Booked so far:

18 February
Eric Clapton

5 March
Elvis Costello

11 March
Michael Buble

and then....gasp...

18 March
Eagles

Set List:

How Long
Busy Being Fabulous
I Don’t Want To Hear Anymore
Guilty of the Crime
Hotel California
Peaceful Easy Feeling
I Can't Tell You Why
Witchy Woman
Lyin' Eyes
The Boys of Summer
In the City
The Long Run
No More Walks in the Wood
Waiting in the Weeds
No More Cloudy Days
Love Will Keep Us Alive
Take It to the Limit
Long Road out of Eden
Somebody
Walk Away
One of These Nights
Life's Been Good
Dirty Laundry
Funk #49
Heartache Tonight
Life in the Fast Lane
Encore:
Take It Easy
Rocky Mountain Way
Desperado

oh boy oh boy oh boy, there's going to be some singing and grooving that night :)

Thanksgiving No. 3

2010-12-02T15:07:00.004+08:00

Well, Thanksgiving just past was our third together. I pushed the boat out and did the whole Thanksgivingy thing again (I had a break last year).

I imported, at great expense, an organic bird, fresh from the green farms of Amish country. The organic, free-range, no hormone, everything natural really does make for a tasty bird for eating. They've developed good muscles, felt sun and rain on their feathers, gobbled around good time for a while, just generally been turkeys, before ending up on my table.

I decided this year, to shoot for a 'fusion' Thanksgiving and threw in some Scottish special effects:

Scottish smoked salmon to start

Black pudding which was supposed to go with the roasted brussels sprouts, but I left on the side as our honoured guest, my galpal, didn't really fancy eating blood with her dinner

Haggis, served as part of our trio of stuffings, or 'stuffing, three ways' as is so gastronomically correct these days. And for my wonderful husband, yes, Stove Top was available.

We also had creamy mashed potatoes, orange glazed baby carrots, caramelised baked pear with red onions (thank you, Martha Stewart, for this one), gravy, cranberry sauce.....the usual culprits.

Followed, somewhat painfully even after a respectable time lapse, by pecan pie (thank you Renu for supplying this) and vanilla ice cream (mmmm Häagen-Dazs).

Thanks was given, quietly and individually, mainly because I forgot, after all those hours in the kitchen, that that was part of the 'deal'. Oh well, I'm thankful to many and much - and you all know who you are and for what.

There will be NO more turkey until next year, forget Christmas - actually I quite fancy the more traditional continental goose for Christmas...hmmmm. This year, not a scrap went to waste, what with hungry relatives, dogs, neighbourhood cats, ourselves and our dinner guest.

Not right then and there, you understand, when we're talking about a 14-pounder, but over the next few days ;)

Best buds

2010-11-15T12:00:00.004+08:00

*oops, please excuse the hole in the dog-proofing system for the sofa*

The Magnificent Michael Bublé

2010-11-09T10:42:00.004+08:00

.... is coming to Hong Kong

on his Crazy Love Tour, on March 11

and I have just managed to score

tickets in the front centre section

only five rows from the stage!

My cup runneth over right now.

52nd Anniversary

2010-11-05T11:05:00.009+08:00

Hard to believe but I'm only two weeks away from celebrating the 52nd anniversary of my arrival!

We thought long and hard about what to do to mark the occasion.....dinner in Hong Kong....short trip somewhere like Bangkok, Tokyo, Singapore....and have settled on a quick excursion over to Macau to catch the new show, The House of Dancing Water, as I really want to see it. A confirmed 'O' fan, I'm eager to see how this measures up.

this will be the view from our seats - I can now see why they are so pricey!

The plan is to go over on Friday afternoon, see the show that evening (managed to secure hard-to-get best seats), relax the next day, do some sightseeing, maybe dabble a little in the casino, definitely fit in some spa time, eat some good Macanese food, overnight again and return on Sunday afternoon. We've chosen the Hard Rock Hotel as it looks like fun.

Update - duh me, I forgot they're holding the Macau Grand Prix on the very days we will be there. Rule out the sightseeing, the main roads will be turned into a racing circuit from 6am to 6pm - never mind, the spa and slot machines will keep us entertained....plus there are loads of food options out where we'll be. When the hotel GM told me it was a busy weekend but he could still take care of me, little did I realise!

Blue on blue on blue

2010-09-13T13:51:00.003+08:00

I want to be back there right now, floating in the pool ......

12 more days....

2010-08-02T11:46:00.009+08:00

and it can't come fast enough.....

.....we are ready!

Especially for some spa treats

Then on to two nights in Bangkok, in a bed like this....

Vacation Days Ahead

2010-07-19T18:28:00.002+08:00

Finally, some time away for Steve and I.

Mid-August - leave is secured, flights booked and hotels arranged.

Five days at the Banyan Tree Samui and two days in Bangkok on the way home.

Aaaaaaaah, I can smell the fresh sea breezes already.

98 Hours

2010-07-16T15:20:00.003+08:00

I've just spent 98 hours without fresh air. I walked into the hotel on Saturday afternoon and didn't walk back out the doors until Wednesday evening.

We were holed up in Manila, at the HR Conference, where we shared a wealth of learning, one typhoon, six calorie-laden, delight-filled tea breaks, several wonderful meals and both new and renewed friendships.

And dayum, it was good to get home yesterday!

Andrew Zuckerman's Birds

2010-07-09T09:17:00.007+08:00

I couldn't do these justice in this format, so I've provided links to better pictures of his high-definition photography:

Beautiful bird photography article and the birdbook website.

And to see more of his work, beyond the birds, go here.

On Top of the World

2010-06-25T11:54:00.003+08:00

Steve is literally on top of the world right now, at 31,000 feet. Flights on the Detroit to Hong Kong route go up and over the top, a shorter distance than going around the planet.

Eight hours of flying time left - and he's lucky, the same flight from yesterday was 16 hours late arriving! So far he's only 30 minutes late against scheduled arrival time.

I whispered in Lupo's ear this morning that "Papa will be home tonight" and his eyes fairly sparkled. Mine are sparkling too :)

Separation

2010-06-09T17:44:00.002+08:00

Steve left this morning, for a two-week trip to his old home town, Lansing.

There is a sad dog at home, a sad cat at home and a sad wife at work, about to be a sad wife at home with the sad dog and sad cat.

But it's really all good once we all get past the 'missing him' aspect of this. He needs to have the opportunity to see his kids, his mother, sister, nieces, grandmother, etc. Plus, absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Oh, and the other plus for me is that although I love cooking, it gets tiring every night after a 12-hour day and so I'm bringing in the instant ramen big guns for the next 15 dinners ;)

Slurp...slurp...slurp

A Panorama

2010-05-27T08:32:00.008+08:00

Steve has found some wonderful software that pieces together multiple photos taken of an area, to produce a panorama. This picture is a combination of photos taken from our balcony and two other windows in the apartment.

Click on the pic for a slightly larger version. I can't seem to link to the original which is a HUGE file and really quite incredible.

Shanghai Beckons

2010-03-16T09:33:00.006+08:00

We're off to a big knees-up in Shanghai on Thursday, back on Saturday. Our latest 'jewel' is having their grand opening bash. Should be fun!

Apart from attending what will no doubt be a spectacular party, we're looking forward to seeing the new Shanghai

as well as the old Shanghai

Kung Hei Fat Choy and Anal Glands

2010-02-17T16:19:00.004+08:00

Kung Hei, Kung Hei - a very Happy New Year to one and all and best wishes for this exciting Year of the Tiger.

Poor Loo has a bad tummy and an infected anal gland so poor Steve had to take him to the vet as I'm at work and he was off today. I think he has had his eyes opened a little further (though nothing like poor Loo's eyes were as the vet's finger went up his little bot-bot) as to the responsibility and joy of being a dog's human! It's chicken and rice tonight - for Loo that is :)

(No picture, you'll be glad to hear!)

Waves

2010-02-08T11:47:00.009+08:00

I received an email today, from a friend, sharing some awesome photos with me. They are so beautiful, I'd like to share them with you. This is the amazing work of Clark Little.

Musical Interlude(s)

2010-02-02T16:24:00.014+08:00

We're nothing if not a little eclectic with our musical tastes.

This Saturday we're off to catch Muse on tour.

And then on the 24th of March it's Sir Tom Jones. How good of him to come all this way to entertain us on our second anniversary ;)

But one thing I can assure you, this gal won't be throwing her big panties on stage!

Doggie DNA

2009-12-18T18:04:00.006+08:00

I've always wondered what the beautiful Lupo's parentage was, so I had a doggie DNA test done. Well, to my surprise he is:

German Shepherd - Level 1

Level 1: Over 75% of the DNA found in your dog is from the breed listed.

Actually no surprise with that one, I always knew he had a whacking great dollop of GS in him.

Irish Setter - Level 4

Level 4: Each breed listed represents between 10-19% of your dog's DNA

Huh? Really? Well yes OK he does have a very rounded head, moreso than a GS and the beautiful soft eyes of a setter.

Rottweiler - Level 5

Level 5: Each breed listed represents less than 10% of your dog's DNA

Oh my goodness! Well yes, now I know where that barrel chest comes from!

And there I was thinking he was a GS/Husky mix. Whatever his parentage, and now I see it fitting in, he is my boofle (beautiful) boy :)

A Late Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T10:36:00.008+08:00

I hope all my American friends had a wonderful Thanksgiving, we have so very much to be thankful for not just yesterday or today, but every day.

This year, Steve and I will be celebrating Thanksgiving on Saturday as we don't get that as a holiday here in Hong Kong. Last night, for our Thanksgiving Day dinner, we had Japanese ramen at one of our favourite places, and the best damn ramen joint in town (the owner has a thing about racing cars and soccer jerseys)!

Tonight, when I get home, our bird, which has been defrosting nicely in the fridge over the past three days, will be dunked into the brining liquid. Then late morning tomorrow, out he'll come (or maybe it was a she - can one tell?) and into the oven. I pushed the boat out and bought an organic turkey, from a small farm in Pennsylvania. I think I might even have an Amish bird in my fridge - which of course is a very non-Amish place for it to be.

We're planning a late lunch/early dinner prior to an evening of karaoke in celebration of a friend's 40th birthday! Then on Sunday it's up bright and early to take Lupo on his first ferry ride over to Hong Kong island and a taxi ride up to the Peak, for the annual Hong Kong Dog Rescue Peak to Fong Fundraising Walk, along with hundreds of other dogs. I think all three of us will be walking off a big Saturday meal.

I'll get Steve to take photos and hopefully post a photo log next week.

John Williams - Awesome!

2009-11-04T09:51:00.008+08:00

Steve and I went to see him in concert yesterday evening. What an incredible two hours it was!

He captivated us with each piece he played in a wide-ranging programme:

Vivaldi (Arr. by John Williams) - Concerto in D, Op. 3, No. 9, RV230
Scarlatti (Arr. by John Williams) - Sonata in F-sharp Minor, K448, Sonata in A Minor, K175
Granados (Arr. by John Williams) - Valses Poeticos, H147
Albéniz (Arr. by John Williams) - Torre Bermeja from 12 Piezas Caracteristics, Op. 92
John Williams - Notes in the Margin
Mangoré - La Catedral
Sculthorpe - Djilile
J. T. Williams (Arr. by John Williams) - Theme from The Schindler's List
Morricone (Arr. by John Williams) - Theme from Cinema Paradiso
Myers (Arr. by John Williams) - Cavatina from The Deer Hunter
John Williams - Prelude to a Song, Open End, Song without Words, Hello Francis
Traditional Irish Tunes (Arr. by John Williams) - Carolan’s Concerto, The Little and Great Mountain, The Bottom of the Punchbowl, Jackson’s Morning Brush

Cavatina was one of my Dad's all-time favourite pieces of music.

When one man, sitting with a guitar on the vast expanse of a concert stage, can enthrall the way he did, that is an incredible gift.

Bravo, Mr. Williams!

Beautiful and Moving

2009-10-30T11:17:00.002+08:00

The Story Behind Our Photo of Grieving Chimps
Posted Oct 29,2009

The November issue of National Geographic magazine features a moving photograph of chimpanzees watching as one of their own is wheeled to her burial. Since it was published, the picture and story have gone viral, turning up on websites and TV shows and in newspapers around the world. For readers who’d like to know more, here’s what I learned when I interviewed the photographer, Monica Szczupider.

On September 23, 2008, Dorothy, a female chimpanzee in her late 40s, died of congestive heart failure. A maternal and beloved figure, Dorothy had spent eight years at Cameroon’s Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Center, which houses and rehabilitates chimps victimized by habitat loss and the illegal African bushmeat trade.

After a hunter killed her mother, Dorothy was sold as a “mascot” to an amusement park in Cameroon. For the next 25 years she was tethered to the ground by a chain around her neck, taunted, teased, and taught to drink beer and smoke cigarettes for sport. In May 2000 Dorothy—obese from poor diet and lack of exercise—was rescued and relocated along with ten other primates. As her health improved, her deep kindness surfaced. She mothered an orphaned chimp named Bouboule and became a close friend to many others, including Jacky, the group’s alpha male, and Nama, another amusement-park refugee.

Szczupider, who had been a volunteer at the center, told me: “Her presence, and loss, was palpable, and resonated throughout the group. The management at Sanaga-Yong opted to let Dorothy's chimpanzee family witness her burial, so that perhaps they would understand, in their own capacity, that Dorothy would not return. Some chimps displayed aggression while others barked in frustration. But perhaps the most stunning reaction was a recurring, almost tangible silence. If one knows chimpanzees, then one knows that [they] are not [usually] silent creatures."

Sanaga-Yong was founded in 1999 by veterinarian Sheri Speede (pictured at right, cradling Dorothy’s head; at left is center employee Assou Felix). Operated by IDA-Africa, an NGO, it’s home to 62 chimps who reside in spacious, forested enclosures.

Szczupider submitted the photograph to Your Shot, a magazine feature that encourages readers to send in pictures they've taken. The best are published on the website and in the magazine.

—Jeremy Berlin

Closure.....and Closure

2009-10-19T16:52:00.008+08:00

We scattered my mother's ashes yesterday, in the same place we scattered my father's ashes, almost four years earlier. It's hard to believe so much time has passed. And time it was, as my mum had been sitting in my closet for almost two years.

The reverend read from Corinthians, focusing on the love between my parents, followed by a short prayer and then he read the same poem that I'd read at my dad's service (not sure if that was a coincidence or he'd taken note of it as I remember him asking me for a copy on the day I read it). We closed with the traditional hymn for those connected with the sea, "Eternal Father, Strong to Save" (aka "For Those in Peril on the Sea") and a short silence for personal 'prayer'.

Ashes, that is all that remains. I like to think that scattering these in the same place we scattered my father's ashes, has reunited them.

It was a carbon copy of my dad's service, same reverend, same people (less two or three out of town) and the same loving feeling of celebrating a revered person now lost from our lives. It is always interesting to me how people saw my parents, with so much of the warmth seeming to come from my father while my mother is more usually described as humorous. Which is, in reflection, pretty much how it was for their children.

The rose I cast forth was crossed by the rose my sister then cast forth - not sure about the significance, other than read on.....

Well, that was the first closure. On this trip, Rhona has ceased to be anything to me. She has once again dissolved into the most ridiculous intoxicated drama queen, has lashed out at me repeatedly and stepped way over any line I can ever tolerate. Some highlights of Saturday evening, where she turned up for dinner with her drunk hat on:

First there was the fact that she 'killed' my notebook by dropping it on the floor the night before - and made it my fault for mentioning it to her. Oh and also claimed she hadn't broken it.

Then there were histrionics about 'burying my mother tomorrow'. This from the woman who couldn't be bothered to go and spend Christmas with her mother even knowing it would be her last (and was only 5 hours away).

I was also to blame for not inviting our brother to the service the next day, even though she had agreed to take care of inviting people the week before. Not that he could come anyway, but I should have contacted him because she's not close to him. I'm not.

Apparently I had forced her to do things she wasn't good at, like making some of the arrangements for the service. Oh excuse me, I never realised I was so skilled at funeral arrangements.

Oh and let's not forget the "fucking vicar" she had to contact. Ummmm and agreed to when we discussed everything. (Please remember all this was being said/shouted in a restaurant and the F word was being used very liberally).

She hates the power I have over her. Well if there is any power, she has self-appointed it and plays into it. For example she hasn't bothered to open her own bank account where she can put her inheritance money so it's still in my account. Which means that every time she needs money, she has to ask me. And I transfer it to her with no question. She has given me that power (which I neither use nor abuse) and now resents me for having it.

There was much more, so much more, such as the favour she had done for me in keeping the business running/running it into the ground, whichever way you want to look at it. And that I hadn't ever bothered with the 'accounts' she sent me - hardly relevant as accounts when they failed to record any of the substantial amounts of cash I continued to inject into the business.

The pièce de résistance, however, was the fact that I am not looking after Lupo properly (in her book) because, apparently, I'm a "fucking fat lazy cow". Nice one don't you think? This is after I get up at 5:30am to walk him, make sure he has two long walks a day and also that he has a couple of evening walks and always one just before bed. But because I don't personally take him on every single walk (pretty hard to do when one is working, I have engaged the services of a dogwalker) I am a "fucking fat lazy cow".

At that point I got up, went and paid the bill and left with Steve and Lupo. We haven't spoken two words to each other since, not even at, or after, the service yesterday. She returns to Tenerife tomorrow, to fix up my apartment and remove herself and her asswipe boyfriend from it and a legacy of nine years of free rent. Finally, though she has some other business to take care of over there and I reminded her of that.

As the saying goes: Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Untitled Visuals

2009-10-11T16:57:00.023+08:00

My Boys

2009-10-02T10:36:00.007+08:00

Update 5 October:

The vet gave me some appetite stimulants for Lupo yesterday and he ate, and enjoyed, his first complete meal since he arrived. Note to self: Wash fingers after handling those tablets if they can do what they did for Lupo in the space of a couple of hours!!

The boys arrived in fairly good form a week ago.

Toffee has settled in to what must seem like heaven - love, food, attention, love, food, attention.

Lupo, my darling, beautiful, amazing boy, however, isn't doing very well. He hasn't eaten a proper meal since arriving, subsisting on some hand-fed food, some treats and not too much more. I'm taking him to the vet on Sunday (am back at work today and yesterday and tomorrow are holidays here so no vet).

He's happy when at the beach and swimming, running or the ever-popular frisbee-catching, good when resting at home (yes, I let him on our bed and sofa), but morose the rest of the time.

Thank goodness he's still drinking lots of water.

Rhona and I differ on our approach to this lost appetite. I favour finding things he WILL eat and if necessary hand-feeding him. She shouts at him when he doesn't eat from his dish and orders him around. She is using this very slow adjustment to his new life to chastise him for not eating and then telling Steve (she wouldn't dare say this to me) that she will take him back with her.

The climate is not what he's used to, I now find out that she's back with the asshole boyfriend who has a dog which is Lupo's buddy, he's in all new surroundings. It will take time for him to settle into his new life without his regular buddy and which cannot include three-hour outings every day - as I explained to her, noone can sustain that and have a job. I had to bite my tongue so as not to say "and have their rent paid for them for almost nine years".

Steve adores him, he adores Steve. They even went for an after-dinner walk/run yesterday which was so good for them both to be together like that. Of course Rhona had to use it against me as being yet more proof I'm not looking after Lupo. I slapped her down with just one sentence - a reminder that only under her care, had the poor dog pooped in his own home, a source of awful embarrassment for one of the cleanest dogs I've ever known. And the reason for that embarrassment? She slept through his crying to be taken out with a sore tummy. No doubt a wine-induced slumber.

Fingers crossed we can sort out his eating. I will sit on the floor and hand-feed him every kind of meat he loves, to get him over this. I hope the vet can help, too. It saddens me more than I can say, to see him like this.

Yipppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2009-09-21T17:06:00.004+08:00

My boys are arriving on Thursday. THIS Thursday evening!

Bowls and mats, beds, litter box and litter, dry and wet food, brushes, poop bags, litter scooper, all purchased. And I have a very nice piece of rump steak in the freezer for Lupo's first dinner.

We're ready for them!

Oh, and my sister is arriving the same day (on an earlier flight). I've found a nice little studio apartment for her for a month and I'll meet her off an early flight in the morning. Settle her in, then we'll have Korean BBQ for lunch. A short familiarisation trip around Discovery Bay.

And I'm hoping and praying the boys survive their long travel in good health and no stress on their mental state.

I can't wait to have them back in my life! And Steve is looking forward to having them in his life. He and Lupo already get on so incredibly well :)

We're hoping my sister behaves while she's here.

Another milestone - Steve celebrated one year of living in Hong Kong, with me, yesterday. We got sozzled on a jug of very strong sangria at a little place overlooking the bay, then gorged on HUGE burgers at another restaurant, thankfully inside in the air-con - it is still UNBEARABLY hot here. We then went home with hangovers - I do not recommend copious amounts of sangria consumed in the extreme heat!

Weeping Glacier

2009-09-04T08:27:00.003+08:00

From the UK online newspaper website MailOnline.

At first glimpse it looks like any other glacier you might find in the freezing Arctic wastes of Norway.

But on closer inspection an eerie face is depicted in the melting ice wall that appears to be crying a river of tears.

The forlorn-looking 'Mother Nature' figure appeared to locals during a thaw, with the melting ice and snow falling towards the sea below.

The striking image of the Austfonna ice cap, located on Nordaustlandet in the Svalbard archipelago, would seem certain to be heavily used by environmentalists protesting against climate change.

My World As I Know It, Ends Today

2009-09-03T08:11:00.011+08:00

After resisting company 'policy' for a couple of years, I have given in, folded, acquiesced. Today I will be issued with a new 'device' to replace my little buddy, the cell phone.

Now, while I do understand these things help us keep in touch and up to date, sometimes I feel I don't need to keep in touch or be quite so up to date. I kind of liked the reasoning that I didn't answer your email out of office hours quite simply because I didn't read it until returning to work the next day. I liked the fact that quite honestly if it was life or death urgent, you could press some numbers on YOUR BB and speak to me on MY CELL PHONE about it.

But, alas and alack, I am about to become one of the legion of BB owners who can't seem to go to a meeting, sit and have a coffee, stop and smell the roses, without scrolling and jabbing at these things. Personally I find it exceptionally rude to be in a meeting and not quite BE in a meeting because of distractions like this and I will NOT be taking mine into meetings. I do still plan to sit and sip on a delicious, soothing latte and I will not stop smelling roses - and preferably freesias and white ginger flowers.

Whatever the good of this upgrade may be, I am all too aware that the expectation of what I do in my free time (limited though it is) has quite definitely changed forever.

R I P

A New Outlook

2009-08-24T15:51:00.010+08:00

Finally, a couple of photos of the view from our new apartment (click to enlarge):

This photo shows the view over the bay with the beach to the middle-left. The monstrosity appearing just in front of the beautiful mountains is a new 5-star hotel, left half-built since last year. In front of the curved building are some lovely bay-side restaurants and on the right of it is the ferry pier.

A slightly hazy day but you can see in the distance, the business centre of Hong Kong, with Hong Kong Island on the right and the Kowloon peninsula on the left and the harbour flowing between. The first island to the right is Peng Chau, originally a little fishing village but now it's a little commuter island (with some very good local restaurants I've heard).

It's a far cry from the view we left behind:

Quickie

2009-07-20T11:34:00.002+08:00

Hello to those who haven't given up dropping by, after all there's really not much to see around these parts at the moment. Sorry about that but life just seems so full right now. So onto the update:

1. Boys came, boys saw, boys conquered. We all had a great time, especially them. They loved Thailand! It was great getting to know them and I was particularly taken by the older boy who was just so hungry for the experience and got so much out of this trip.

2. Found a new apartment. Stunning, and I mean STUNNING views. A balcony for Lupo and I've been arranging furniture in my head for two weeks! We move in on the 28th. It will mean a 30-minute ferry ride to and from where I work but it's worth it, to be with Lupo again.

3. Lupo and Toffee are now slated to travel end of August - Rhona again threw a spanner in the works by not getting Lupo's rabies jab done in time for an end of July travel date.

4. Bought a new bed. Super duper bed. Individual pocketed springs. And added memory foam Tempur Millenium pillows to the package. Wish I could afford a memory foam mattress but those babies are expensive!!! Heck the pillows were US$150 each but my goodness they feel incredible!

5. Survived a direct hit from a typhoon over the weekend. Bit of an odd one as some places reported nothing more than a spot of wind and rain, while other places had trees down and property damage. For us, up on the 35th floor in Mid-Levels, it sounded like the air-conditioner was going to be blown on top of us. Howling, screaming wind for about three hours during the night.

6. Will try and get a bit better with my posting - and with pics. Must show you all our new view once we're settled.

Hope all is well in everyone's universe, I do try to keep up with you and post on your blogs when I can.

The Adventure Begins....Truly

2009-06-17T15:45:00.008+08:00

UPDATE 2:30pm 18 June - they're all here, finally.

A volcanic island in the north Pacific is causing air travellers consternation as a massive plume of volcanic ash clouds the skies thousands of feet above the volcano, making air travel impossible.

Northern Pacific flights bound for Japan, Shanghai and Korea are being cancelled or rerouted due to volcanic ash spewing from the Russian volcano, Sarychev Peak.

Well, the boys are having their first adventure and they haven't even arrived yet.

Due to Sarychev Peak on Matua Island in the Russian Kuril Islands blowing its top, flights to Asia on the northerly route (as in Detroit to Tokyo) are being diverted. The boys ended up in San Francisco after leaving Detroit, to make another connection onto Tokyo. This, unfortunately, means missing their Tokyo connection to Hong Kong later today. We had checked that the boys were safely on the Detroit to Tokyo flight and only found out early this morning from a call they made to their mother upon arrival in San Francisco.

So it was all battlestations and trying to find out what was going on as Northwest had done nothing to contact us to alert us as to the issue. They gave me one option - they would book them into a hotel in Tokyo on arrival, with the airline continuing to be responsible for them, and make sure they're on the next flight out. That next flight out, however, is tomorrow at the same time, meaning they'd be stranded in Tokyo for about 22 hours. On their first trip out of country.

Well, as you can imagine I wasn't impressed by any of this so put my points forward in a rational, measured way. A few calls later, they finally patched me through to a Manager. I must say he was very helpful and only raised my hackles once, by saying that the airline felt this was an acceptable solution. I said, with all due respect, that wasn't the airline's decision as to what is acceptable for my husband's children, without any sort of consultation. I was willing to meet them more than half-way, by taking care of Steve's flights to and from Tokyo, the overnight accommodation, and only asking that they make sure all three are on the flight back to Hong Kong tomorrow. Due to overbooking (they are taking all missed connections onto that flight), they could not give him a seat on the same plane as the boys. After some negotiation, they put the boys on a Japan Airlines flight tomorrow (not bad considering they are flying on mileage points and airlines don't like inter-line transfers for that type of ticket) which I was able to match with Steve's ticketing arrangements.

Result - Steve is now on his way to Tokyo to meet the boys off the plane (he'll get there about an hour before they do), take them into his care and spend the night with them. The earliest connection is on Japan Airlines tomorrow at 9:55am so they are all booked on that.

Another expense in an expensive month, but it was the only acceptable solution. Poor Steve was pretty upset about all this but several phone calls to Northwest, some magic from my wonderful travel agent and a quick trip to the bank for some Yen, all is solved.

As I said to him, for the boys this will be another adventure for them to talk about when they get home!

Countdown - One Week

2009-06-10T07:30:00.002+08:00

In exactly one week, Steve's boys will arrive for their three-week summer break with us. We'll be doing loads of touristy and non-touristy things here, chomping through food both known and as yet unknown to the boys, traipsing around malls and outlets and markets.

As part of their holiday we're spending six days in Phuket, at the Banyan Tree. That will be a little different from our honeymoon trip, with an 11 year-old and a days-shy-of-15 year-old. There will be no skinny dipping in the pool, for one thing.

I'm excited and just a little trepidacious. While we've talked on the phone and web-cammed a little, we've never been in the same room together. My fervent wish is that, by the time they leave, they will think of me as their friend. And I shall have gained two more.

Steve, needless to say, is counting the minutes!

Eye Eye

2009-05-22T16:03:00.000+08:00

Isn't it amazing, the fun you can have with a half-filled water bottle!

Deb Is Gone

2009-05-20T10:45:00.007+08:00

Debby Greer-Costello

Deb was an incredible person and everyone who knew her was blessed by having her in their lives. She is gone too soon but put up an incredible fight against leukemia, and showed more courage, dignity and humour, than I've ever witnessed. She leaves behind her parents, brothers and sisters, and a beautiful nine year-old daughter, Zoe.

When I first 'found' Deb's blog, she was full of vim and vigour, a strong, enabled, lovable kinda gal who wasn't shy about sharing her ups and downs in navigating her world. In 2005 she shared with us, her leukemia diagnosis and we followed through her initial treatments, the good times when she seemed to have this thing beaten, and then sadly how it reached deep into her and grabbed her back. She fought it, my god but she fought it.

Your fight was long and hard, Deb, and you gave everything you had, even in the last days. I'm grateful to your sister Jenna who so kindly, despite her own pain at seeing her sister suffer, shared with us how things were going, to keep us in your life, when you no longer could communicate to us all through your blog.

Deb, you will be missed. And never forgotten.

As We Look Back Over Time

As we look back over time

We find ourselves wondering .....

Did we remember to thank you enough

For all you have done for us?

For all the times you were by our sides

To help and support us .....

To celebrate our successes

To understand our problems

And accept our defeats?

Or for teaching us by your example,

The value of hard work, good judgement,

Courage and integrity?

We wonder if we ever thanked you

For the sacrifices you made.

To let us have the very best?

And for the simple things

Like laughter, smiles and times we shared?

If we have forgotten to show our

Gratitude enough for all the things you did,

We're thanking you now.

And we are hoping you knew all along,

How much you meant to us.

~ Clare Jones ~

Food Glorious Food

2009-04-28T18:32:00.008+08:00

Someone wrote on my fridge - "I miss your food posts, have you eaten lately?" I wonder who that might be!

Actually yes, I've definitely eaten lately but it all comes down to Steve loading the pics onto Flickr so that I can post them here. Problem is, he's a perfectionist when it comes to his photos and wants to crop and brighten and contrast them some, before he's happy with revealing them.

Let's see. We have pics of an incredible Valentine's Day Dinner at The Verandah, we have pics of tapas and sangria at Mija's by the bay (two or three visits), we have multiple pics of many dim sum meals, we have pics of roast goose at Lippo Chiu Chow, we have pics of dinner at Chang's, we have pics of a magnificent anniversary meal at Spring Moon, we have pics of birthday dinner (both of our birthdays) Wagyu beef at Felix's, we have pics of afternoon tea in The Lobby. I think we might even have a pic of me eating deep fried pig intestines at the flower market during Chinese New Year. And more I can't even remember right now!

So, yes, I've definitely eaten. Now I need to figure out how to get Steve to give me access to his pics. I'm cooking Sausage, Onions and Peppers with Linguine tonight so that will help. Then there's my special Tortolini and Eight Vegetable Soup tomorrow. Maybe a Boeuf Bourguignon on Saturday, or perhaps another visit to Mija's this weekend. Now THAT should give me some bartering power ;)

All I have to share right now is our last dim sum lunch with friends and new babies, at the City Hall (pics untouched and released only because of pressure from those who attended and couldn't wait for the edited versions) . . . . . .

This is Steve's No. 1 Dim Sum Auntie, she' totally besotted with him and runs around getting him whatever he wants, even before he wants it! Here she is with his 'mongo poodeen' (mango pudding). She wants to take him to a mountain on the island she comes from - I'm still working out what that might be code for, in her Guangdong Hakka dialect.

And here we have No. 1 Dim Sum Auntie and No. 2 Dim Sum Auntie, driving their carts - fried items to the left and steamed items to the right.

And at the end of the meal, all 12 of us were sated. But I think Steve managed to finish the Yeung Chau Chow Faan anyway :) That's a little chicken foot in the foreground, which would have been in front of Anuja!

Rockraiser and Weekend Getaway

2009-04-24T10:52:00.002+08:00

On Saturday, Cyberport in Hong Kong will be rocking to the sounds of the 2009 Rockraiser Festival. And Steve and I will be there rocking right along with some of the best bands and singers from Hong Kong and Beijing. All for a good cause, to help disadvantaged children in Nepal.

I decided to make a weekend of it and we'll be admiring the beautiful Lamma Channel view from a bed just like that, on Saturday and Sunday. The bath also boasts a sea view and I'll be into that in a flash! I just hope the weather improves as we've been having some VERY grey and rainy days recently.

It's only about 20 minutes from home but as soon as I saw that room, I wanted to spend some time there - and being in the business, I got a rock-bottom rate which was just too good to miss.

It has been a very busy couple of weeks and there are loads of photos to document it all, if only Steve would load them up, I'd let you take a look. Steve, my love, how about it ;)

Thank You

2009-04-16T14:47:00.004+08:00

To whomever took the time to drag and drop all those letters onto my fridge, not to mention re-gendering it to fit the words being about me:

"when she is silent your heart ceases not to listen to her heart"

From 'The Prophet - On Friendship' by Khalil Gibran

A Quickie

2009-04-01T14:16:00.008+08:00

Just so everyone knows I'm still around, a quick update:

Foreigner concert was very good - their new lead singer has an amazing talent. And just think, he was discovered on YouTube.

Coldplay concert was diabolically good - they played to a rip-roaring crowd of 11,000 and did something I've never seen before - they relocated from the main stage to waaaaaaaaaaay back in the cheap seats, to play a set there on a tiny stage with just guitars and the tiniest keyboard I've ever seen. What a wonderful way to let those less able to pay top dollar for the prime seats, get close to them, too.

Weekend retreat was wonderful, there's really nothing like staying at a five-star hotel and being spoiled silly - helps, too, when you're on the executive floor and the 24-hour lounge delivers a wonderful spread during the day of breakfast, snacks, cocktails and dessert, all alongside a free-pour bar with juices, sodas, waters, wines, spirits - and champagne in the evening.

Working extra hard, and have been for the past two months, trying to keep everything done and done seamlessly, with my boss now having been away for two months - only three more weeks to go!!

Have endured so much keyboarding lately that my hand pain forced me to the doctor today - I'm diagnosed with tendinitis in both wrists - apart from the muscle relaxant, anti-inflammatory (and resulting anti-acid) he also recommended moving my keyboard from the under-desk drawer to onto my desktop. Now I have to work out how to find some space for it in this almighty mess!!

My sister has demanded another reprieve and I've given her until August 1 to release my babes to me. And told her to get the balance of the money owed for the sale of the dive centre and do something with the apartment so it's ready to rent/sell. She's pushed me to being mean.

My mother's ashes are still sitting in my spare room. Neither sibling has raised the matter, neither seems too bothered. It has been over a year now. Not too sure if I should just hire a boat one weekend and scatter her where we scattered my dad's ashes.

Speaking of my mum, we continue to pay council tax, electricity, insurance, etc., on the house and so I mentioned to my brother (who took on responsibility for the sale of the house) that maybe we need to at least look at renting it out during the summer, it's a perfect vacation house, and all I got was 'good idea'.....and then nothing else. ../.. is my typed equivalent of giving him the bird.

Counting down to the boys coming over and there are so many things planned for them, I'm sure they'll have a brilliant time here. And to be honest I'm really looking forward to the peace and tranquility of the pool villa at Banyan Tree, again.

Apartment prices continue to drop and I think we'll go into a serviced apartment for a while, until Lupo comes over and while the boys are here, that way we're not 'out in the sticks' for their visit and if I go into one of my company's residential complexes, the facilities are awesome for them.

We celebrated our first anniversary last week and all I can say is that I continue to grow in love with my husband. We tolerate, and even laugh at, each other's flaws and celebrate in big ways, the love we share. Happy, happy, happy us :)

Doubly Blessed

2009-03-11T08:36:00.005+08:00

T1 born at 1240pm, just over 6 lbs.

T2 born at 1242 pm, just under 6 lbs.

My bestest friend, my chosen sister, gave birth last week, to twins. These beautiful boys came to their parents on 3rd March, after several years of trying to conceive. I'm overjoyed and in total wonder of the strength and passion of my dear friend. And what a wonderful end result of all the hard work.

She's an amazing mother to her first-born, and will be an equally-amazing mother to her two new boys. And while she may have wanted at least one girl, I know why she has been blessed with three boys - because seeing how her first-born is turning out, her gift to the world is raising such amazing little men. And the world needs more of those.

They are so perfect and so beautiful, and I'm so proud of her.

Communication With My Sister ~Updated~

2009-03-03T07:08:00.010+08:00

Update 9 March:

I got a very curt text "Am sending vacs 2morrow, promise", from Rhona. No 'love', no 'xxx' but that's OK because right now I just want their vaccination records. So, onwards we move with all this :)

Email from my sister last night:

fion.......this is hard.............i cannot face losing lupo at the moment so i am pleading with you to let me hang on to him for a bit longer..................there is no fear that kirk is coming back as he is with someone else and i cannot handle this fion (i really mean that) to lose him right now............i just cant fion........so please give me a couple more months with him as he is all i have and cannot bare the huge loss.....please try and understand fion but without him in the immediate future it will tip me over the edge i hope you will understand Rhonxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My reply to her:

I don't like this Rhon, you have Shaz, you want to make plans to go to Edinburgh, you want to try and get a job. That means that you won't be able to look after Lupo the way you have been.

You have to stop using Kirk as a reason for not doing things, for stopping your life. There is always the chance that they'll change the rabies rating for Canary Islands and then I'll be stuck. I am making the changes necessary for Lupo in my own life, I have made that commitment.

To be honest it really pisses me off that even when he's gone, Kirk continues to rule our lives like this. You say a few more months, you got that already Rhon, this is just going to go on and on....you went to a counsellor well I would hope he/she can help you to manage this life situation.

I don't like this 'threat' either Rhon, about tipping you over the edge, to be honest. We've been there before, if you recall, when I flew over to Tenerife right after getting a phone call, to find you all hunky dory when I got there. Lupo is not all you have, you have your own dog too and I want some time with Lupo.

Rhon, it's called getting a grip and you really need to get a grip. If you're that mentally imbalanced, it makes me want to have Lupo more. But do not use him as a pawn. An agreement was made and I'm expecting you to hold up your side of that agreement. I gave into you just a month or so ago but now I'm expecting you to honour your word to me. I am not prepared to bend on this one Rhon.

Love Fionxxxx

I am tired of her theatrics. I've lived with them for many years. From hearing of her 4am calls to my parents in Hong Kong, when she was living in London, telling them that she was going to take her own life. To her inability to make a living and being supported by my parents and myself, to her overdosing on valium (turned out she hadn't) a few years ago and me rushing over to Tenerife on the next flight out to find her all jovial and gulping down the wine with her then loser boyfriend (she has quite a track record of them). To her theatrics at my dad's funeral - I don't think I'll ever forget her throwing her UTI drugs at my mother on the day and telling her that she'd need them more than she did, merely because an old boyfriend of my mother's (and friend of my father's) came to the funeral and my mum was chatting with him. To finding a bloody great hole in one of the doors in my apartment, which she's been living in rent-free for over eight years, marking when she lost her temper and kicked a door in. To visiting last year and finding one of her friends had painted my living room bright yellow and hadn't even bothered to move a bookcase so he painted around it. And the epitome of her bad behaviour, the way she treated Steve and I, but particularly Steve, when we visited last year. There are so many other things I'm tired of even remembering.

It's hard to describe her relationship with me, when she drinks there are things she says which tell me she hates me with a passion, not just the words but the vitriol in her voice, the anger in her face. If I move away from her because of this, she turns all whimpering and apologetic and is fearful of losing me (her words).

An example: When I was about 10 and she was five, I was taken to the dentist with a bad tooth. He basically took a hammer and chisel to it and battered it out of my mouth. I was, naturally, in hysterics and my sister was listening to my screams in the waiting room. Until last year, she actually went over 15 years without visiting the dentist and blames me for that. She tells me that it is my fault because she heard me screaming all those years ago. The little hole in her argument is that before the 15-year run, she did go to the dentist. But it's convenient to blame me for her bad dental hygiene for the past 15 years (she finally went last year and had almost lost her teeth by then) and even at that point, she blamed that on me. She loves to recount this story of me being to blame for her teeth. If it wasn't so ridiculous and sad, it might be a little funny.

Am I being too tough, am I tipping her 'over the edge'? I honestly don't know but I'm pig-sick of pandering to her wants and needs and putting her first. Just plain sick of it. To be honest I want my dog and cat back, I want my apartment back. I want that part of my life back. She's my sister and I'll always love her and I want her as a part of my life, but not this big a part of it. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of who she is and what she expects from me.

"You Can Shave Doll"

2009-03-02T15:45:00.005+08:00

Thank you Charmed for a great laugh today.

Get a load of that bush! LOL

The Chinese do actually think the "gwai los" are hairy. But THAT hairy??!!??

A Conversation With My Sister

2009-02-26T09:57:00.009+08:00

My sister texted me - Fion, can you call me please. I didn't pick it up until the next morning so I texted her back and told her that and asked what was up. Her return text was - never mind, everything's fine.

So, at my 7am, her 11pm, I call. What prevented her from calling instead of texting, I don't know, unless she's in arrears on her phone bills again and they've locked her international call facility.

Me: Hi Rhon, what's up.

My sister: I'm depressed Fion, no work, Kirk left me again, I don't know what to do with my life. I'm sitting at home all day.

Me: I'm glad he's not around anymore, he's very bad news.

My sister: Well, he's gone for good this time.

Me: Uh huh, like the last five times? You know you'll take him back if he wants to psychologically bully you some more. And that's the worst kind of bullying, that noone sees, that you pretend you don't see. I hate to say this but I almost wish he would give you a black eye because that might help you understand what he's doing to you, invisibly, and you also wouldn't be able to explain that away so easily to your friends.

My sister: He loves me.

Me: Oh my god, he does not, Rhona. He sees you as someone he can get away with bullying and no matter how awful he is to you, you will let him back in. He picks at you, he even told you that he doesn't care about you.

My sister: He didn't mean it.

Me: You may think that and yes, it could be explained away as something said in the heat of the moment, the problem is that every one of his actions, supports exactly what he said.

My sister: I don't know. I'm going to a counselor tomorrow.

Me: A counselor doesn't see the interaction that goes on between the two of you, doesn't see the way he puts you down, doesn't see his manipulation of your drinking problems. Doesn't see how he goads you on until you do something irrational and then when you do that, he blames you for doing it. And you don't tell the truth about any of these things, you always excuse his atrocious behaviour and buy into his story of it being your fault. I know, I've witnessed it first hand and have talked about this to you more than once.

My sister: *Silence*

Me: *Getting riled up* Rhona, you're 45, it's time you grew up and took responsibility for your choices and your decisions. Or at least make some. What are you planning to do?

My sister: I think I want to go to live in Edinburgh, rent a small apartment, get re-trained. As I'll only have Shaz (her Jack Russel) with me that will be easier. I'm going to miss Lupo so much.

Me: Well that's a start. I hope you understand that being re-trained doesn't mean you'll get a job as that would put you in the inexperienced batch of whatever you're being trained to do. And with unemployment what it is, you'd be up against a lot of people who have the experience. Quite honestly, maybe you should at least look at doing some waitressing again as a starting point.

My sister: Yes, that's a good idea but right now I have no work.

Me: I know but it's not like you're homeless or penniless so why don't you get out of the house and at least do some volunteer work.

My sister: Yes, I could do that, I just feel so depressed.

Me: Well moping around the house and drinking until you're sozzled every night won't help.

My sister: I know, Fion, I know.

Me: And for god's sake do not even think about letting that asshole back into your life. Move on from this now, once and for all and grab hold of your life.

My sister: He left me, I didn't leave him.

Me: Yup, I understand the difference but it's good he made that decision, now let him stick to it. Make him stick to it. Do not let him across the threshhold again.

My sister: I still don't know what to do about my money (her inheritance).

Me: Well, Rhona, that's another decision you have to make because I'm not making it for you. It's still sitting in my account and you could have had it in an interest-bearing account had you answered my email months and months ago.

My sister: I found one place a few weeks ago, with 3.4%, but I have to pay 20% tax.

Me: If they're still offering 3.4% that's pretty good but the world is changing every day so you'll have research it again. As for tax, well I know that will be a first for you but taxes are just part of life.

My sister: Fion, would you check on the internet....

Me: What? What? You've just told me you're sitting at home all day doing nothing, you know how damn busy I am and you are asking me to do that for you?

My sister: I don't have internet at home (no surprise) and I don't like going to internet cafes.

Me: Well I don't much like rolling out of bed at 6am but I do it because I have to. So don't ask me to do that for you when you know how busy my days are and you've admitted to sitting at home doing nothing all day.

My sister: OK OK don't get so angry at me, Fion.

Me: Well I am angry at you, Rhona. And frustrated. Angry that you continue to expect me to solve all your problems, angry that you continue to let someone mess with your head, angry that you expect me to drop things and help you out every time. I'm angry that I heard you pouring yourself another drink during this conversation. I'm frustrated with you wanting to keep playing the victim and expecting me to dig you out of every hole you find yourself in.

My sister: I'd better let you get to work.

Me: I'm at work, but yes, I need to get back to work. Good luck with the counselor. By the way, I'm still waiting for the company documents so I can close the contract with the seller and collect my final 10% (for the sale of the dive centre) and still waiting for the vaccination records for Lupo and Toffee.

My sister: OK. Bye now.

I'm impatient with her, I know, but I'm simply no longer able to, nor do I wish to, constantly be looked upon as her rescuer. A few months ago, I saw a book and bought it, to send to her. I've delayed doing that in case it was too hard for her to read. But I really think that now is the time. The list of symptoms on the back cover screamed out to me: This is Rhona.....

. a shaky sense of identity (check)
. sudden violent outbursts (check)
. oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection (check)
. brief, turbulent love affairs (check)
. frequent period of intense depression (check)
. eating disorders, drug abuse and other self-destructive tendencies (check)
. an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone (check)

It's about understanding Borderline Personality Disorder. So, do I read it to understand her better? Or do I send it to her so she understands herself better? Or maybe both?

As The World Turns ~ Updated ~

2009-02-23T16:24:00.006+08:00

Did someone crank up earth's orbital speed? Is it just me or are the days morphing into weeks and the weeks morphing into months? If I thought 2008 went by fast, it has nothing on the speed 2009 seems to be moving at!!

Some highlights for the next few months are:

٭ Arrival of my best friend's twin boys (March 10 or 12 under c-section) ٭

٭ Journey concert, Macau, 20th March ٭

٭ Coldplay concert, 25th March ٭

٭ Weekend luxury stay in a 5-star hotel suite 27th through 29th March ٭

٭ Easter - pondering a quick trip somewhere with hubby ٭

٭ Toffee and Lupo arrive on 15th April ٭

٭ By May 7 we have to find a new place to live ٭

٭ Steve's boys arrive 17th June for three weeks ٭

٭ On the 21st June we're all off to Phuket for a week ٭

And before I know it, half the year will be gone.

Is your world turning as fast as mine?

WTF...

2009-02-09T09:57:00.005+08:00

...is going on with the weather? It was 27C (80F) here yesterday, with more of the same today, and it's early February. Even for us, that's damned hot for this time of the year. We've had about six cold days this winter, and by cold I mean below 15C (60F).

I really don't understand it and certainly hope the temperature dips again, at least a little, otherwise we're in for an intolerably long summer. Every year, the winter gets shorter and while we already enjoy a temperate climate, pretty soon there won't be any really cold days. With our very hot and humid summers, they are something we look forward to - and the chance to break out our boots and winter woolies.

Probably not what those of you who have been knee-deep or more in snow, want to hear, but too much heat isn't that much fun either.

A Meow and a Woof and a Reunited Family

2009-02-05T14:22:00.008+08:00

Thank you Agriculture and Fisheries Department for re-classifying Canary Islands under Spain, making it a Group II country for the importation of pets into Hong Kong. Which means no six-month stint in the UK for them. Once the six-month blood test has been done, Lupo and Toffee are free to come to join us here! In March!

I was in the middle of writing another post when this news hit......basically Rhona is trying to tell me that she's not going to give up Lupo as SHE can give him a better life. Yes, this is the woman who has allowed her boyfriend to break my dog's spirit, this is the woman who thinks it is okay for him to be refused permission to even step foot in the lounge in his own home, this is the woman who has relegated him to having a rag on the floor as his bed, this is the woman who leaves him home alone overnight when she's too pissed to get back and this is the woman who doesn't know what she'll be doing in one month, three months, six months.

Yes, she is also the woman who has looked after him for eight years, this is the woman who has given him a lot of love, this is the woman who makes sure he has a run on the beach whenever possible, this is the woman who will drive for two hours to get him up onto the mountain to play in the snow in the winter. I'm aware of all the goodness she's given him, I can see that. Toffee, not so much, he is clearly a love-deprived animal and isn't looked after that well - nor was Sai-Loh, with tragic results.

Over the years, she's allowed her boyfriends to dictate how my dog lives his life. He's gone from having his own chair, his own bed, to nothing. So little comfort that he has callouses on his elbows. And, for her to now have the nerve to say that she can look after Lupo better than I can, well I don't think so missy.

I'll get nasty over this, if I have to. This is where Lupo belongs, where he feels safe and secure. And this is where he's going to be very soon, cuddling with me on my couch. Whenever he wishes to.

Stop....And Hear The Music

2009-01-30T16:32:00.007+08:00

A Violinist in the Metro

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip. A woman threw the money into the violin case and, without stopping, continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a three year old boy. His mother tugged him along, hurrying, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pulled hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only six people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it.

No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theatre in Boston and the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were - in a commonplace environment - at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

May you spot life's many beautiful moments. And may you stop and enjoy them.

P.S. I was hoping to embed a link to a YouTube clip of the actual experiment but I've forgotten how - and I don't have the time to investigate. So, if you wish to see/hear it, a search within youtube for 'Joshua Bell subway video' will pull up a list of options.

One Year On

2009-01-06T14:06:00.006+08:00

One year on, today, as I sit here looking out my window at a beautiful sunny, clear blue sky, I remember looking out another window half a world away. The sky there was low and oppressive, a deep grey, and snowflakes were falling. I was by my mother's bed in a hospital in the Scottish Borders, knowing she wouldn't be with us much longer.

I've thought a lot about my mum over these past 12 months. Thoughts which have led me to a quiet acceptance of our difficult relationship. Thoughts which have helped me admire her spirit in her youth, travelling from Scotland to Hong Kong in pursuit of my dad, no mean travel feat in the 1950s. She caught up with him and they were married here in 1955, just after they both turned 22.

Some thoughts have had me wishing we'd been able to share more in our mother/daughter relationship, and some have been understanding that she carried through her life, a scarred relationship with her own mother. I know there were moments when she was proud of me and I know, too, that she trusted me to deal with issues my brother and sister might not be inclined to handle, or even able to handle. During our final days together, I knew for the first time in my life that she also loved me. She said so, finally.

She had a very hard end to an amazing life. A life that started off in adventure and daring to be different. A life filled with love for her husband and a strong independence. A life where she struggled so hard to show us love and affection, it made us question so many times if she had any for us. I wonder if not being able to show us love, hurt her more than it hurt us.

One year on, I remember my mother with love in my heart.

Photo: My sister with my mum, taken in 2007.

Goodbye 2008

2009-01-02T11:51:00.005+08:00

Today, I closed my 2008 desk diary for the last time, pressing so many memories between the leather-bound sleeves of the cover.

What a Smörgåsbord of a year I've had. At times it has been good and there were a few occasions when it was astoundingly amazing in a life-changing way. It has also been bad, achingly sad and again life-changing, in a godawful way. I've gone from being a daughter to being an orphan. Shortly afterwards I dropped the mantle of single, aging woman and married the man I love to the length, depth and breadth of my entire being. I embarked on my 50s in November and watched my net worth crumble around the edges before the end of the year.

And here I am on the second day of the New Year, looking through the pages of 2008, at dates when I took trips to Edinburgh, Tenerife, London, Phuket, Macau and several places in the USA. Remembering people gone and people found. Relationships lost or floundering, or magically solidified into my future.

Changes in the world, such changes as none of us could have imagined. Some good, some great, some terrible.

What a year it has been. And what a year it will be.

Fire Hazzard

2008-11-21T08:30:00.003+08:00

....and that's why people usually just go with the numbers, at this stage in life....

Absolute highlight of my day so far was having my favourite four-year-old sing "Happy Birthday Auntie Fiona" to me :)

Thank You, America

2008-11-05T15:54:00.006+08:00

The world is celebrating with you tonight.

I hope that everyone now works towards defusing the anger, the acrimony, the animosity, that have been incited during the campaign, so that this man, and his family, are kept safe.

Thanksgiving

2008-10-31T17:07:00.004+08:00

I've committed myself to cooking my first Thanksgiving Dinner, this year. One of the benefits of being married to an American. I've never cooked a turkey before and ,while the whole prospect of being responsible for such an important meal isn't horribly daunting, it IS a first and I'm quickly finding that there are a lot of American dishes, or American adaptations of dishes from other countries, which I know nothing about.

To wit, Steve and I had an interesting discussion today on the subject of 'Goulash', to find our concept of that particular dish is worlds apart. I grew up with Hungarian Goulash while he grew up with Hamburger Goulash. I asked him what he'd like for dinner and he said Goulash, so I was mentally preparing a paprika-based stew with chunks of beef and to be served with tagliatelle or some other egg noodle (which is what my mother always used instead of the traditional egg dough 'pinches'). I didn't realise until later, that Steve was concocting a vision of a dish based on ground beef into which macaroni is added and it all cooks up together. So, I'm going to try to whip up something similar to his version, tonight.

I realise that Thanksgiving Dinner is not too far distant from a Christmas Dinner - what with the turkey and veggies and cranberry sauce even - but there are some very key things that seem to make Thanksgiving Dinner just that, and not a fore-runner to Christmas Dinner.

Anuja is providing use of her oven (I don't have one) and the space to entertain family and friends. I've volunteered to do most, if not all, of the cooking so if anyone out there has something very typically eaten at an American Thanksgiving Dinner, please could you shout out. One thing though, I'd really rather NOT prepare any dish that incorporates marshmallows. Just saying!

Thanks everyone.

MIA

2008-10-22T13:53:00.007+08:00

Oh dear, I have been ominously silent, haven't I? I've been missing, and definitely getting action.

Nothing to worry about, balancing work and my new role of full-time wife is just about taking up all my time. You'll all be glad to know I've taken working hours down to 12-13 a day now but the end result is a desk which looks like a bomb has hit it, and no way to find any time to get re-organised.

We're so enjoying the fact that we don't have to keep saying 'goodbye' at airports, and waking up to each other every morning. I'm not saying there haven't been a few 'moments' as we settle in with one another, but I believe we have what it takes to grow old together. Cuddling into that man as I fall asleep, will always be the most wonderful feeling in the world.

This evening, we're off to Macau - we cut our time away short as Linkin Park cancelled due to someone hurting his back, but Cirque

is on for tonight! So we'll be on the Cotai Jet

at 6pm and sitting in the theatre by 8pm. Then two nights at The Venetian

and some lovely spa treats booked for tomorrow. I doubt we'll even leave the resort as there's so much to see and do - and so many places to eat. I want to try Fogo Samba, a churrascaria (Brazilian barbecue steakhouse)

where you can feast on unlimited amounts of freshly barbecued meats brought to the table on skewers and carved right onto your plate. Did I mention that this is unlimited? Steve and I do love our meat!

Well, back to work, I have to sign off payroll before I leave in a few hours, or else noone will get paid on Friday. And that would make me VERY unpopular with everyone.

Happiness and the Har Gau

2008-10-03T08:40:00.007+08:00

Happy is what I am, what we are. And everyone is remarking on how different I look since Steve arrived. I believe it's true, that my happiness bubbles up to the surface and reveals itself in my face. There's just no hiding pure joy.

We've been busy, soooooooooo busy. Getting out and about, visiting with friends, exploring old haunts and discovering some new ones. The week I took off was wonderful, just absolutely wonderful, and it was difficult going back to work. Luckily this week has been a short work-week (Wednesday was a holiday) and next week will be another short work-week with Tuesday off. We're just simply delighting in each other.

And now for the har gau. Classical steamed shrimp dumplings. My love's favourite dim sum dish and he can't get enough of these little parcels of goodness. In fact we're off for some more today at lunchtime with Anuja. I let him have his fill of har gaus while I consume entire platefuls of cuttlefish tentacles. For some strange reason, he's not tempted to partake of my favourite dish. I can't, for the life of me, understand why. Can you?

Dolphin Rings

2008-09-19T20:43:00.002+08:00

As I pack up at work and venture off towards the airport, I'm leaving something beautiful to head up my blog while I'm away.

This video is of dolphins playing with rings which they have the ability to make under water to play with.

It isn't known how they learn this, or if it's an inbred ability. As if by magic the dolphin does a quick flip of its head and a silver ring appears in front of its pointed beak. The ring is a solid, donut-shaped bubble about two-feet across, yet it doesn't rise to the surface of the water! It stands upright in the water like a magic doorway to an unseen dimension.

The dolphin then pulls a small silver donut from the larger one. Looking at the twisting ring for one last time, a bite is taken from it causing the small ring to collapse into thousands of tiny bubbles which head upward towards the water's surface. After a few moments the dolphin creates another ring to play with. There also seems to be a separate mechanism for producing small rings, which a dolphin can accomplish by a quick flip of its head.

An explanation of how dolphins make these silver rings is that they are"air-core vortex rings". Invisible, spinning vortices in the water are generated from the tip of a dolphin's dorsal fin when it is moving rapidly and turning. When dolphins break the line, the ends are drawn together into a closed ring. The higher velocity fluid around the core of the vortex is at a lower pressure than the fluid circulating farther away. Air is injected into the rings via bubbles released from the dolphin's blowhole. The energy of the water vortex is enough to keep the bubbles from rising for a few seconds of play time.

chirp chirp

2008-09-18T07:50:00.004+08:00

It's going to be quiet enough to hear the crickets sing around here for the next 10 days - Steve arrives tomorrow night and I'm taking a week off work. That's if I get through everything today and tomorrow. I have a huge incentive to make it happen, getting time with my husband.

Yipppeeeeee, finally we get to be together properly. No more goodbyes at airports, no more "I love you"s over the phone, no more constant texting, no more aching for each other, no more wishing and hoping we could be together.

The 19th of September will become another anniversary we can celebrate in all the years we have ahead of us.

The Sky is Falling

2008-09-16T11:49:00.003+08:00

Lehman Brothers. Merrill Lynch. As familiar as Coca-Cola and McDonald's. And now, suddenly, no more. It's scarey, sobering stuff. Nothing is sacred.

And while the sky might not be falling, literally, our world has changed in the last couple of weeks and the effects of what has happened in the US are far-reaching. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Merrill Lynch and Lehman Brothers, AIG. It's not over yet.

Our company stock fell just shy of 15% since Friday (our markets were closed yesterday for the Mid-Autumn Festival). It will have an effect on us, though our company has a very long-range vision and it will not, most likely, mean cuts just yet. Personal investments are dropping like a stone and what used to be 'enough' as savings, no longer is. There is unknown territory ahead.

The Treasury and Federal Reserve have taken on some weighty issues. More than ever, more than a month ago, the US needs a government in place which can understand and come to terms with what has just happened.

How do my American friends feel about all this? Do you think it will influence the selection in any way? And what does everyone else think?

Nothing From Me, But Don't Miss Maria's Post

2008-09-11T08:11:00.003+08:00

I don't have anything to say today, but please do go over and visit Maria and read this post.

I dare you NOT to laugh out loud!!

My Boy

2008-09-06T12:14:00.008+08:00

Update : A few of you have asked how long it will be before my boy can join us in Hong Kong. Well, unfortuantely, the Canary Islands are classified as rabies-infected and Hong Kong is rabies-free. Therefore to land my pets from Tenerife, would mean four months of quarantine here, even though they have had their rabies vaccinations every year.

The alternative, and the one I am currently exercising is to have them travel to the UK on the EU Pet Passport scheme. This involves a six-month process in Tenerife whereby they do blood tests and repeat them until they are given a clean bill of health. They can then land in the UK without quarantine. However, to travel to Hong Kong after that, they have to have been in the UK for a further six months before they gain quarantine-free status on entering Hong Kong. While Rhona has bought into the six months in Tenerife (it started in August), I will have to find them a loving home for the six months in the UK, from February to August. Basically I'm looking at just under a year right now.

The option, for quarantine in Hong Kong, worries me as I've never put an animal through that and I'm not sure how they would survive it. I'd visit every day, of course, but it would probably break all our hearts, having to walk away every day for four months. I've also heard that the quarantine kennels in Hong Kong are not the nicest places, so the 12-month route does seem to be the best for the two boys.

This picture says it all, when I think about how my boy misses me, and I miss him.

He's no longer allowed on the sofa (Rhona's b/f thinks it's not right - I however have a different take on things). This was the second day we were there, enjoying the apartment without Rhona and her parasitic partner. Steve and I sat on the sofa and right away, Lupo climbed up between us, settled down like this and promptly fell into a long, deep sleep. I swear there's a smile on his face in that picture. This wasn't about him trying to come between Steve and I as, later that day, he positioned himself towards Steve and snuggled into him, sharing his love with both of us. Not to be outdone, you can see Toffee jockeying for a place and the late Sai-Loh already settled along my left thigh (his rear end is visible next to Toffee's head).

I saw in Lupo at that moment, an intense sense of peace, safety and comfort. He was home again, his real home, and I swear he was smiling. Rhona can say what she wants about animals not belonging on furniture - and that is a new thing she has bought into since the boyfriend came into her life, before then Lupo even had his own armchair as a bed instead of a thin blanket on the hard floor. When this dog, supposedly trained to keep off the furniture, climbed up without hesitation, to be close to me like this, that is his heart speaking. And his heart speaks so clearly to me, as it has always done.

He and Steve took to each other right away and I'm so happy about that. I can't wait to have Lupo with us. And on the furniture if that's where he feels most loved.

19 September 2008

2008-09-03T16:36:00.008+08:00

My life and Steve's life, our life, will change forever on that date. He's arriving at 10:15pm. Finally, we shall have togetherness on a 24/7 basis, rather than as it has been, on a text/phone/email/trip basis.

A large bookshelf and six-drawer bureau have been purchased, just for him. I need to clear some hanging space in my wardrobe this weekend. Our first shopping trip will be to buy a new bed, our bed. And in a couple of months, when my lease is up, we'll be looking for an apartment with more space and an extra bedroom for when his boys visit.

Steve has a very tough couple of weeks ahead and an especially hard day, on the 18th, when he flies out to his new life in Hong Kong. I wish we could have everything we want, everything everyone wants, but right now this is what we need, to be together.

Are we excited about this? You can bet your sweet bippy we are!! Oh wow, just oh wow :)

The picture is because.......we love pretzeling.

84

2008-09-02T08:43:00.019+08:00

That is the somewhat intimidating number of hours I worked from Monday through Saturday, last week. I am hoping that was hell week and things get a bit better from now on. Yesterday I worked just shy of 14 hours and I actually felt like I was going home early, at 8:30pm, having been there since 6:45am. I just wish we operated a compressed work week - that would have given me this whole week off, from the hours worked last week. Though chance would be a fine thing!

Even working all those hours, I found myself in the midst of a disaster zone by Friday evening. This was my work area - yes, there is a desk under there somewhere:

I hate, hate, HATE working like that. And when I took matters in hand on Saturday, I did find a couple of not too pleasant surprises - Monday deadlines I didn't know I had. Well, I applied myself, got the necessary done and then spent a good long while organising myself. This is how I left my desk and I was a much happier person for it:

It was a joy to come in on Monday and (a) be able to find anything I wanted and (b) finally get some working room back on my desk and its surrounding area.

Half the battle is being organised. The other half is just getting it all done once it's organised!

Interestingly Accurate

2008-08-31T00:55:00.006+08:00

I saw this on Trueself's blog - if nothing else, do it to check out the amazing pictures used for the test.

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

HFDS - The Coach

You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on what's in front of you (the foreground) and how that is affected by the details of life. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to deal directly with whatever comes your way without dealing with speculating possibilities or outcomes you can't control. You are highly focused on specific goals or tasks and find meaning in life by pursuing those goals. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.

The Perception Personality Types:

Compared to other takers
35/100 You scored -1 on HumanityToNature, higher than 35% of your peers.
65/100 You scored 3 on BackgroundToForeground, higher than 65% of your peers.
13/100 You scored -1 on DetailsToBigPicture, higher than 13% of your peers.
73/100 You scored 6 on ColorToShape, higher than 73% of your peers.

Take The Perception Personality Image Test

Life as a Couple

2008-08-28T15:42:00.004+08:00

In a matter of a few weeks, Steve will be here with me at last. Which means we will get to do lots of 'coupley' things. Like meals, movies, walks, visiting with friends, having quiet nights at home and so on.

We'll also get to do some of the more exciting things, like seeing these guys on October 21 in Macau:

I can't say they're totally my cup of tea, but armed with light ear plugs to alleviate temporary deafness afterwards, and the already-established promise of not being part of the mosh-pit, I'm all for it.

While over there, I'd like us to take in the new Macau-based Cirque show (Steve's first Cirque experience, my sixth):

I like the way there's one for him and one for me and we'll both enjoy them together.

As the concert and the Cirque theatre are at The Venetian in Macau, and I have a contact there who kindly gives me discounted rates for their suites, we have a fun-packed two-day mini-break already planned for October. I think there might be some time to enjoy some spa treats, too. I know that will definitely appeal to Steve, he's very partial to a good Lomilomi massage. I'll probably have a facial and pedicure, I don't like exposing the bits in between my head and my feet, to strangers.

I can't wait for my husband (my husband, oh how I love saying that and writing that) to get here. So we can do the little things together, as well as these big things. Not to mention, the intimate things. Something tells me that those will be a priority for us, for a long time to come.

Quiet Decisions and Noisy Indecision

2008-08-25T20:55:00.004+08:00

I wonder, which is your comfort zone? Absorbing information, checking back now and then and making a decision. Or constant back and forth in indecision.

My sister is definitely the latter. I am definitely the former. It was decided that, as I had handled everything to do with sorting out all the paperwork and settling the estate, which included forking out not insignificant amounts of cash, firing the original lawyer/executor and finding an alternative solution to getting through probate, my brother and sister would take care of the sale of the house. Between them they have decided that she will take the easier part of cleaning it out and getting it ready for the sale. My brother will handle the sale, itself.

Months back, a neighbour of my parents, a wonderful woman, had offered to start clearing out the house (which Rhona was supposed to have done while she spent an extra week in Scotland after our mother passed away in January). I agreed to this but when my sister found out, she had a hairy. How could I treat Mum's things like this? How can I let a stranger go through her things? Well, I had done that because she had failed in her duty and had constantly told me she was too busy to go over there and do what she'd originally promised. This woman is utterly respectful of our mother and was like a daughter to her in the years after my dad passed away (she's my age). She was never too busy to visit with my mother, never too busy to cook for her, never too busy to help her out. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell my sister that she'd been more of a daughter than her own daughter ever had been. I bit my tongue instead.

So now, finally, Rhona is over there. The last time, she had her boyfriend travel over and they spent a week doing everything BUT sorting out the house. This time she is bringing another friend to 'help' her. And now the emails, text messages and even requests to call her, have started. What do I do with this, what do I do with that? Should I leave sheets and towels in the house? What about the heaters? Do I have to return the gas bottles? What about the kettle and microwave? The DVDs and books? Should I leave the bathmat in the bathroom? For each question I refuse to give her a definitive answer. Instead I try to edge her toward her own decisions. I know that's not what she wants, however.

I'm still not her 'friend', it will be a while before I can be that again as there is frost in the air between us. I'm her sister, yes, but it's time she didn't always rely on someone else to make decisions for her. Silly little decisions that she should be able to make as she took on a specific responsibility. The only one we've asked of her. This is just so indicative of how she leads her life. Relying on others to make decisions. And sadly, she does it so she can apportion blame, should the decision prove to be an incorrect one. I say this from 45 years of being her big sister and seeing her constantly rescued from her bad decisions. I played my part in aiding and abetting for too long.

I'm tempted to quietly decide and help her, but I know it's best for her if I just leave her to her own noisy indecision. Besides, they're both motivated by greed so I'm sure they'll get it done, in the end.

The Eye of the Storm

2008-08-22T18:51:00.002+08:00

Is directly over me right now. We have our second highest possible typhoon alert up and it is dead calm outside. Not a leaf on the nearby trees is stirring.

Small though Hong Kong is, the storm managed to find us. Apparently, as it hovered over us, it 're-organised itself' as the observatory reported. Bringing the eye a few miles off from where I sit typing.

The winds will start back up soon and it will be my turn to feel them, so far I've been fairly protected. Meanwhile, sitting in this calm in the middle of a typhoon is a strange thing indeed. Nature is phenomenal.

Damn Right - We Don't Want Him Here Either

2008-08-21T07:58:00.012+08:00

Update - The Telegraph online:

Gary Glitter arriving at Hong Kong airport and being greeted by immigration officials.

He has flown back to Bangkok airport after being refused entry in Hong Kong

Gary Glitter has been sent back to Bangkok airport and is likely to be ordered onto a plane back to Britain later today after China became the latest country to reject the convicted child abuser.

Thai officials are understood to have prepared deportation papers to eject Glitter following a frustrating standoff yesterday when he refused to board an onbound flight to Britain claiming ill health.

During the negotiations, which left Glitter sitting in the transit lounge in Bangkok for 20 hours yesterday, he was overheard saying: "I've been in jail three years. Now I want to do home shopping in Hong Kong."

On the Thai Airways Flight TG602 to Hong Kong he instructed cabin crew to arrange an escort at the other end and used the onboard phone to get a friend to book accommodation in Wanchai - the city's nightclub area. But upon arrival last night Chinese immigration officials refused him a visa. The former pop star fled to Hong Kong last night but was denied entry and returned to Thailand's main airport. At least 19 countries have now refused to offer him sanctury after he was deported from Vietnam.

Glitter refused Hong Kong entry - BBC News Report

Convicted paedophile and ex-pop star Gary Glitter has been refused entry to Hong Kong after being deported from Bangkok in Thailand.

Chinese authorities informed the UK Foreign Office they had barred Glitter, real name Paul Gadd, 64, after his arrival at 11pm local time (1600 BST).

Earlier he was deported from Vietnam after spending almost three years in jail for sexually abusing two girls.

He flew to Hong Kong from Bangkok after refusing to catch a flight to the UK.

He had boarded a Thai Airways flight to Chinese territory Hong Kong after Thai authorities refused him entry and threatened to deport him to Britain.

A spokesman for the Foreign Office said: "It is a matter for the Chinese authorities to decide what action they take now."

Immigration police at Hong Kong airport said privacy laws meant they could not comment on Glitter's case.

He had earlier been barred from entering Thailand by immigration officials after he said he wanted to remain in the country or go to another Asian nation.

This was despite a plea for medical treatment as Glitter said he was suffering a heart attack.

Glitter sold millions of records as a glam rock star in the 1970s, with hits including I'm the Leader of the Gang.

Thai police had earlier told Reuters news agency they would be "deporting him to his home country, England, unconditionally".

The BBC's Jonathan Head says 19 countries have already said they would refuse Glitter entry.

The fact he has flown to Hong Kong is a blow to the UK authorities who want to get him home and on the sex offenders register, our correspondent says.

I think these [new paedophile controls] are sensible and proportional ways of toughening up what is already a very tough system.

If Glitter does return to the UK, he will be met at the airport by police and required to sign the register.

He will then be subject to monitoring and have to tell the police where he plans to live and if he planned to go abroad. He could also face an order prohibiting him from going near children or using the internet.

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said on Tuesday it was her view that Glitter should be given a Foreign Travel Order (FTO) banning him from overseas travel.

Ms Smith has also announced plans to tighten controls on the movements of paedophiles.

Proposed measures include increasing the length of time an FTO can apply from six months to up to five years, and automatically confiscating the passport of anyone subject to an order.

At present, police are only allowed to rely on evidence from the previous six months about the risk an individual poses, but that time period would also be extended under the plans.

"I think these are sensible and proportional ways of toughening up what is already a very tough system. I think that's what we owe to children in this country and to children abroad," Ms Smith said.

The home secretary's announcement came after children's charity Ecpat UK accused the government of "turning a blind eye" to British sex tourists.

The charity said it was too easy for nationals convicted abroad to stay under the radar of British police upon their return.

For those who haven't heard of this scumbag, here are some highlights:

Gary Glitter is an ageing British pop star (from the 70s)

Arrested and imprisoned in the UK in 1999 after police found over four thousand child porn images on his computer when it was left for repairs at a local shop. Served two months of a four-month sentence and formally classified as a sex offender. Left the UK for Spain then travelled to SE Asia.

Evicted from Cambodia in 2002 after accusations were made that he had sexually abused girls as young as 10 - he said he had been "teaching them English".

Arrested in Vietnam for in 2005 for molesting two girls, age 10 and 11. Imprisoned in 2006 after being convicted of "committing obscene acts with minors". Released on 19 August 2008 and deported from Vietnam, supposedly to travel to UK but he landed in Bangkok and refused to connect to his London-bound flight. Instead, tried to enter Thailand - refused.

Flew to Hong Kong and tried to enter Hong Kong - refused. He's at the airport here now and says he wants to now fly to Singapore (yeah right!!) or Sri Lanka.

Another Big Blow

2008-08-20T18:59:00.010+08:00

At 5pm on 21 August, the forecast is for a direct hit around 5pm tomorrow afternoon. Looks like we'll get the eye and no work tomorrow!

Update 21 August : Moving closer, potential for a direct hit.

Typhoon Nuri.

Well, here we go again, the third of the year. This one could be the worst yet, it's already at typhoon (hurricane) intensity and still has a lot of ocean to get over. On its present track it will be closest to us on Friday afternoon and it may actually pose a serious threat as it's still turning more westerly.

This may be the big one we've been waiting for, for several years now. Talk about great timing, though, the last equestrian event is tomorrow. That should be able to go ahead.

Fate...and Pretty Lights

2008-08-18T19:46:00.012+08:00

Two years ago, almost to the day, I put up this post about my hometown. The first comment was from Steve, my new blog friend, and I added an extra photo just for him:

Steve said...
It sure is pretty! I love seeing the skyline at night!
Wed Aug 16, 11:37:00 AM HKT

Fiona said...
I do too Steve - I love going up The Peak - the mountain overlooking the city, and watching day turn into night and the lights all coming on.We have something quite unusual here, every night at 8pm, the skyscrapers take part in a light show...I'll see if I can find a pic and post it!
Wed Aug 16, 11:53:00 AM HKT

This was the picture:

Little could either of us have known back then that, on Sunday, 4 May 2008, he'd stand by my side, as my husband, and take his own photograph of the lightshow across the harbour:

Sustainability in Love

2008-08-16T15:00:00.007+08:00

Love is expressed in so many ways. Some, big, some small. Some which pass by almost imperceptibly, some that scream out to the world.

I have taken some odd turns in trying to find relationships in my life. Reaching out to the wrong person in the mistaken idea that what I was being given, was love. And even experiencing flashes of true belief, that I was with the person I was meant to be with. I know he has, too. I also know that every step we took, every moment of being sure of someone and then being disappointed by them, has led us to where we are today, together.

And that those flashes were just that, unsustainable bursts of energy that were just a scintillation of our senses and nothing more. A connection that seemed true, that seemed real, that seemed what we needed and wanted. But, compared to what we are living today, they were flashes. Something that, for whatever reason, couldn't be sustained with that person.

Today, my husband and I stand closer than ever before. We love deeper than we ever have. We understand each other more and more every day. We appreciate each other. And we respect each other. And no matter what the flashes have been for each of us in the past with those other people, what we are living today is the real thing. True love that is hard sometimes, but which sustains our very existence and breathes life into us. I think of him, I hear him, I see him, I smell him, I taste him, I touch him and I am home.

Steve, when you read this, as you head eastwards from North California, just know how incredibly proud I am of you right now, and how I appreciate the investment you have made in 'us' over the past month. I love you with all my heart and soul, my cherished husband.

My Life

2008-08-13T17:06:00.005+08:00

Seems awfully dull at the moment. I've just done six days in a row of between 14 and 16 hours each (most were at the high end and most without more than a 15 minute break) and then on Sunday I slept like a log, or is it a dog....with me most probably like a hog as I'm somewhat prone to being a trifle audible when I sleep. I can just see Steve reading this laughing, because he knows what I can sound like!

The only thing of any note during my entire week is that I lost a toenail, completely. I'd dropped something on it a few weeks back and it had been sporting an odd brown hue around the base but it never went black so I thought I was out of the toenail-less zone but no, after I spent a nice 20 minutes painting them all a lovely almost-nude-but-slightly-pink-very-subtly-sparkly shade, I noticed my middle toenail on the left foot looked odd and when I touched it, off it flopped. It still hurts a little when I'm wearing shoes but I'm hopeful I have complete regrowth.

Apart from that there really is nothing going on.....how boring am I!! But I just wanted to let you know I'm still alive and still trucking on.

Ummm no I haven't been to the specialist yet as the day I was supposed to see him, we had a typhoon alert here and everything closed for the day (of course I came to work anyway thanks to a negotiated deal with one of the few taxis around that morning). I haven't re-booked the appointment but the humming has stopped! After about five days. Yes, yes, I know I should still get checked out and I will, I promise, soon, really I will, absolutely, yes.

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2008-08-04T15:03:00.003+08:00

Yesterday morning, I woke up and immediately cursed. My air conditioner was making a strange noise and I just thought that there couldn't possibly be a worse time of year for it to give up on me. We've had record heat here in the past week or so and, combined with our 80-95% humidity, the lack of my bedroom air conditioning unit would make for a very unpleasant time indeed.

I went to use the bathroom and at that point realised the humming wasn't coming from my air conditioner at all, but from the inside of my ears!!! Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm just a constant, fairly loud hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm not an alarmist when it comes to little aches and pains and hummmmmmmmmms, but a few other things have been going on lately which, when put together with this new and incessant hummmmmmmmmmmmmm, leads me to worry a little bit:

1. I seem to have developed a tendency to tilt to the left when I get up in the morning, to the point I've toppled over a couple of times, luckily onto my bed!

2. I have had, over the past couple of months, about four incidences of peculiar vision - not dizziness or blurred vision, but what feels like the vision from my right eye passing to my left, and vice versa. No just a mild sensation but so strong that I have to stop what I'm doing and close my eyes for a minute or two.

3. I've had a persistent headache which comes and goes, it's usually with me for a day at a time then it disappears for a week or so.

4. Over the past couple of weeks, I seem to have developed motion sickness, something I've never in my life suffered from. Now, however, the five-minute taxi ride home leaves me considerably nauseous.

5. When going upstairs recently, I've misjudged the placement of my foot on one or two steps.

I went to the doctor today, that's how concerned I became when I started adding things up. And of course googling led me down a path to possible brain tumour and aneurism. So I have a referral to the Otorhinolaryngologist (now I know why we call them ENT specialists!) on Wednesday, where he will look further into these symptoms. I have to say the GP wasn't particularly concerned, in fact he said that I probably just need more sleep and to get my eyes tested. I told him they were tested only three months ago so I'm sure it's not that and as for sleep, I get plenty of catchup sleep over the weekend. Thinking back, the 'more sleep' prescription of his seems to be pretty standard whether for an eye infection, a viral infection, a UTI or this damn humming in my ears!

What needs to be said is that I don't have music plugged directly in to my ears, in fact the last device I had which required earplugs, was a Sony Walkman - an original Sony Walkman, the big yellow plastic 'Sport' version, for cassette tapes. That should give you a clear idea of how long ago that was. I don't use a mobile phone much at all, not even every day. My tv sound level is mid-range, as is my hi-fi. Yes, Hong Kong is a noisy place, but I don't go to noisy bars or clubs. I avoid any and all jackhammering on the roads and haven't had a pile-driver close enough to do anything but make my building shudder a little.

So, I'm just wondering if anyone else has had these symptoms collectively, or even any of them individually?

Gone

2008-07-28T18:45:00.006+08:00

Sai-Loh

1998 - 2008

Update: The results of some tests that had been done on his last visit to the vet came back yesterday. Apparently there was more wrong than just the infection, they think he might have had a brain tumour now, but would have had to do some more tests to be sure. They feel that explains the cause of the blown pupil. Perhaps he did lose his balance and fall, or perhaps he knew and chose his own destiny. Rhona continues to search but now maybe it's best she doesn't find what's left of him, for her sake. Thank you all for your kindness.

Sai-Loh (Cantonese for 'little brother') came into my life in 1998, when I visited the SPCA (Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) looking for a friend for Toffee, whom I got from the same place two years before. I had just about given up that day as none of the cats available for adoption, seemed the sort that would be a good pal for my Toffolo (one of his pet names).

As I was about to leave and come back another day, two big green eyes met mine. There was this lovely tortoiseshell cat looking up at me, from an area which was marked 'not for adoption'. I leaned down to read the card on this cat's cage and discovered why it wasn't up for adoption - the death knell was sounding and he was to be put down the next morning.

I found an attendant and asked about this 'Bess' and she told me that it was OK, they were just getting organised for the next morning. So off I went, proud owner of a cat saved from death row. Until I got to the desk to sign the paperwork and pay the adoption fee. I said: "You do realise this cat isn't a female cat?" After much examining of the nether region, it was decided that yes, indeed, this was a male cat named Bess. Not that there was much doubt on that score!

I was forbidden to take her, now him, home as it was very clear he'd not been neutered and their policy is that no animal leaves, capable of reproducing. I reluctantly left him behind that evening, they wouldn't even let me have him with a promise of returning for 'the operation' another day. So I asked for them to let me know as soon as he was ready to come home.

Two days later, I got the call and rushed in to get him. I was speaking with the assistant at the entrance to the recovery area and a moment letter heard this loud miaowing from the front of the room. He'd remembered my voice and was calling for me! This from a cat that hardly miaowed in his entire life (as I was to find out later). This little fellow had my heart right then, and forever more.

He was about a year old and had been on the street all his life, so he wasn't that comfortable being inside. But he adapted to life on the 34th floor. When he first came home, as night fell, he'd make his way up to the top of the highest point accessible to him (usually the top of the wardrobe in my bedroom) and all you'd see was that little face. He'd spend the night there, no doubt relying on his street sense to keep himself safe while he slept. Another street habit he had, and which I saw broken only on this last visit, was that he'd drink only from a running tap, never standing water.

When I first took him home, the vet said that with another male cat there, it would be a difficult transition and to keep them apart with a door between them for the first few days. Ha! He walked in the room, Toffolo loved him up and within 15 minutes they were sound asleep rolled up together, sharing Toffolo's bed. That's what they were like for the next nine years, inseparable.

He spent a year with me in Hong Kong before we all moved to Tenerife, where he spent another seven years with sunshine and clean air, most of it with my sister. He thrived and became a wonderful loving cat, once a few years of 'mad half-hours' was out of his system. He was actually capable of running around a room, along the walls, about five feet from the floor. We called it his 'wall of death' routine.

I visited every year, always wanting to see how my babes were doing and he was doing well. Except that during this last visit, I found that to not be the case. I posted about it here. It now seems that on Wednesday, my sister took him back to the vet and he was diagnosed again as having a bad infection in his mouth and head. More antibiotics were given and he was taken home. After dropping him at home, my sister then took the dogs out to the beach for a few hours and upon returning, found no sign of Sai-Loh. She searched and searched and nothing. He was nowhere in the apartment. She searched outside, nothing. Now she thinks he must have jumped onto the neighbour's sun awning and then onto a wall and away. Something he's not done in seven years.

Maybe he did, or maybe he fell and wandered off. Maybe he reverted to being a street cat and wanted to go away alone, to die after being sick for two weeks. Maybe, so many things. But one thing that is not a maybe, is that had she been taking better care of him, she'd have noticed he wasn't well and would most likely have caught the infection sooner. And she didn't tell me about all this until Saturday, three days after it happened, and as a sort of after-thought on an email about other things.

What hurts the most is knowing he probably suffered terribly during his last hours, his last days. And that he was a strong, healthy cat all his life and didn't deserve to go like this. He deserved better.

I'll always remember my silent, strong Sai-jai, my little street warrior. The tough kid who could put very large dogs in their place. Toffolo's precious buddy. A good cat, a good friend. He touched my heart, he touched my life.

Living Life in Shorthand

2008-07-23T19:51:00.006+08:00

I feel as though I'm living my life in shorthand these days. As though there isn't enough time in the day to do anything in a deliberate, laboured way.

I shower quickly.

I eat on the run 90% of the time (not sure when I last had a meal that required me to sit at a table with a knife and fork).

I run projects out without double-checking and hope they're okay (so far so good).

I have nine piles of work around me at the moment, NINE! I usually have three - must be done today, must be done this week, must be done by month-end. Now I have all those other piles which contain a jumble of all sorts of things, from reading to pending to must be done sometime, to how the f**k am I going to get this done!

I can put my face on in the morning, in under two minutes (not that very much goes on the face, only daytime moisturiser, two eyeliners, mascara and lip stain).

I get home at about 10pm-ish (I start at about 6:30am), walk out of my clothes on the way to the bathroom, shower and collapse in front of the telly but haven't managed to watch an entire programme for over two weeks.

It just feels like I'm propelling myself into a flat spin and am losing control over the simplest of things. At the weekend, I use Sunday to sleep and try to recover from the pace of the week. I think I'm getting too old to sustain this level of commitment, although I've promised my boss two more years with her. I had to, she looked like she was going to pass out when I broached the subject of my leaving recently. At least she's promised to put another assistant for me in our 2009 headcount budget. However, that's not approved yet and we may be about to enter a hiring freeze, even though our Paris project is confirmed and another US one may well be on the cards.

I work hard. I get paid well. I enjoy what I do. But damn, I wish I was able to do it better right now.

P.S. Yes, those are my squiggles. That is the first paragraph of this post. Thank you Dad for insisting I train to be a secretary, I still have a use for my shorthand, from good note-taking to being able to write things in front of other people and not have them know what I'm writing ;)

No. 2 Cat

2008-07-18T19:53:00.006+08:00

Update as of now - Am worried about the boy, his infection is back and the vet can't work out why as she removed the source. It must still be rampaging through his system. He's back to turning down his food and one pupil is blown again, apparently whatever it is, it's pressing on his optic nerve. They're giving him a stronger antibiotic. My fingers and toes are crossed that he's going to be OK.

This beautiful boy has just been subjected to 48 hours at the vet and they're not ready to let him go for another 10 hours.

When we got to Tenerife, I found that he had a very snotty nose and there was dried snot all around it. When I asked Rhona about it she denied all knowledge of it and said she hadn't noticed anything. Well, the only way you wouldn't see that is if you literally didn't see it. And she obviously hadn't looked at the boy for days. With my blood boiling I cleaned him up as best I could (and also took care of his 'brother' who had very weepy and crusty eyes).

I told her that there was clearly something wrong as a healthy cat doesn't have a runny nose (Toffee's eyes are a constant problem and just need to be cleaned every day or so) and his coat also was showing signs of him not being in top condition. He was very affectionate with Steve and I and was eating well so she said she would take him in to the vet in a day or so - I reminded her again as I was leaving.

Sunday rolled around and still no treatment had been sought. She went home that evening and found him alternating between standing staring into a corner or looking for a dark place to hide. Upon noticing that one of his pupils was totally dilated, she rushed him to the emergency vet, whereupon she was told that he had a huge infection in his gums and it had also moved up above his palate. He was, it seems, in a very critical condition. They pumped him full of antibiotics and sent him home with her, to rest. On Tuesday she took him to his usual vet, who found serious inflammation around three teeth and booked him in for surgery on Thursday to have the teeth removed. So much for regular vet's visits, she told me they had been going, so now I'm worried about their shots being up to date. Something I'll be chasing her about very soon.

When they got in there, they took out those three teeth and two others, and even though he apparently did well in the surgery, they wanted to keep him in for overnight observation. I'm hoping it's all going to be okay. I'll get him and his brother back soon and they'll be looked after properly. Rhona leaves the cats alone for very long periods of time as she has been spending nights at her boyfriend's and not even going home after work to take care of them. Probably just loads up their food dishes and disappears for a couple of days. Gggggrrrrrr!

I won't even go into the state of the apartment - MY apartment - which she's been living in rent-free for the past almost eight years. Oh well, I'll have to fix it up before I can put it on the market when she moves out but that will be a big project as it needs a total overhaul.

So much more to say about my sister, I came away from that trip feeling disappointed and downright angry, not to mention being totally embarrassed by her behaviour. She outdid herself that time and I was totally pissed off with her and her boyfriend. She chose the bottle and that obnoxious person over spending time with Steve and I. And when she did spend time with us, her behaviour was absolutely atrocious most of the time.

I was glad to leave, only sad to say goodbye to Lupo and the cats. But not for long. Now I have to prepare my life for having my babes back with me. Or rather, with US!

~~Update: He's home, he's eating like a demon with the remaining teeth and purring like his old self. A happy cat :)~~

Pandas, Real and Mock

2008-07-17T07:48:00.010+08:00

During Steve's visit to Hong Kong in May, we took a trip to Ocean Park where they have a 'Panda Environment'. This is the entrance to the giant panda's home:

Inside, we saw these magnificent animals doing the thing they love doing, second best (eating is the first thing):

I'm really not one for animals in captivity, but the earthquake in Sichuan province has posed a terrible threat to the panda community. Some years back, after a less severe earthquake, the bamboo plant (which panda's thrive on) burst into bloom and died off. The fear is that this will happen again. And with only approximately 1,500 pandas left in the wild, breeding programmes in captivity could well be the difference between this species surviving, or not.

I wasn't allowed to leave until Steve captured me sporting a panda headband :)

Back to the Grindstone

2008-07-14T15:52:00.003+08:00

Back to a mountain (almost 800) of emails and a full intray. I managed to pick up some viral bug, too. And I miss my husband all over again!

We had a quite simply awesome time, bar one extremely ugly episode - which lasted three out of the five days - courtesy of my sister. That man I married continues to prove to me just how amazing he is. How wonderful he is. How much he loves me. And how very blessed I am to have him in my life. Every chance we get to spend time together, we grow more in love with each other.

Our ports of call included Edinburgh, Lower Burnmouth, Darlington, York and finally Tenerife - and we spent a couple of nights at airport hotels. We saw wonderful places, met great people (I'll not include my sister or her boyfriend in that group, though) enjoyed a lot of laughs and loving moments together. And for me the best part of it all was that I got to spend time with my two favourite guys - Steve and Lupo.

P.S. Lupo totally adores him :)

New Adventures

2008-06-29T18:39:00.003+08:00

In a few hours, off I go, heading to London as the first stop. Steve will be shortly behind me and I'll meet him off his flight. More time together - yipppppeeeeeeee :)

I'm not taking my computer so will be back here when I'm home again. Well kind of home, as home is where my love and I are together.

Everyone be safe.

P.S. Someone put "I HATE YOU" on my fridge - I wonder what the hell that is about!!

Phuket Photos 5

2008-06-26T20:37:00.005+08:00

View from one side of the bedroom

and from the other side

You could choose what kind of pillows you preferred, from the sample box

and every day they set up a new scent in the bedroom, complementing incense sticks and burning oils

Welcome to the pleasure dome :)

Gorgeous colours, finishes, fabrics!

Anuja asked them to do this on our bed, on our last night :)

The bathroom wing - vanity areas to the left and right, then toilet to the left, shower and steam room to the right, outdoor bath ahead, through the doors

Even the toilet was adorned with an orchid

and it was such a beautiful place to spend time :)

This is the shower/steam room - rainshower and conventional shower and it converted to an incredible steam room - 10 mins in there and then straight into the pool !

A vanity for her....

and a vanity for him

The living room wing

and our own coffee machine in the mini-bar area

Phuket Photos 4

2008-06-26T20:32:00.005+08:00

Oh, the tales this sunlounger could tell, if only it could talk ;)

A rainy day, and the lily pond outside the bedroom

This is the view from the 'throne'!

Even, or maybe especially, in torrential rain, there is so much beauty

The lounging area between villa and pool

The daytime sala where you can have spa treatments - we preferred a trip to the actual spa for ours :)

Looking out from the living room, bedroom on the left

The outside bath....we didn't even have time to splish-splash in it

This is the view that greets you, when you open the villa's main door - big 'wow' factor

This is just outside the bedroom

The jacuzzi was put to very good use :)

Shower next to the pool

The path leading from the main entrance to the villa itself, over the lily pond

Phuket Photos 3

2008-06-26T19:56:00.003+08:00

One morning when we weren't being quite so lazy, we walked to the main hotel building for breakfast, usually we were picked up in a golf cart

The main lobby area in the hotel

and another view of the lobby

This is the view from the bar, at night

and the view from our breakfast table in the morning

The golf course cafe (great Phad Thai!)

and looking out over the greens

Settling up with their caddies at the end of the round - these women cover up from head to toe because of the intense sun

The hotel's main swimming pool

Pretty deserted as a lot of villas have their own pools

;) though not everyone is so lucky

Phuket Photos 2

2008-06-26T19:44:00.005+08:00

Water lilies in the pond at the hotel lobby

and in our ponds around the villa

Countless birds of paradise blossoming in our garden

This little fella joined us at breakfast every day

and didn't go hungry ;)

This is the shrine for the tree spirits at the oldest banyan tree in the grounds of the hotel

One of our little visitors

and this beauty took up residence in the bathroom one rainy afternoon

It rained a lot - and Steve took some beautiful photos

On arrival you're greeted with the equivalent of a tiny Thai lei, which you slip over your hand onto your wrist - these flowers smell so gorgeous

The shape of those is so amazing!

Phuket Photos 1

2008-06-26T19:27:00.004+08:00

On the train to the airport in Hong Kong...the adventure begins

Approaching Phuket Island, islands in the Andaman Sea

Phuket Island coast

Champagne on ice in the villa - actually there were two of these!

And an assortment of snacks, including these little 'birds' which were actually prawns

We found a little gift in the villa, a pair of loving elephants, and settled down to business - oh we had champagne first ;)

Someone's breakfast - yes we had champagne every morning at breakfast

eerrrmmm someone else's breakfast - an obvious bacon lover and all I'm saying is I don't drink black coffee ----> at the black coffee

We had cocktails in the lobby bar on several occasions - gorgeous, open to the elements but I was joined on my chair one evening by a VERY big and hairy spider, some relative of a tarantula I suspect.....they don't freak me out, I just don't want them crawling on me!

A Bit of a Blow

2008-06-25T09:28:00.002+08:00

We just had a bit of a blow here - well actually it's still going on, the 'stay at home' signal remains hoisted after close to 12 hours, but should be coming down soon. Severe Tropical Storm Fengshen made an almost direct hit on Hong Kong, bringing gale-force winds and torrential rain. Luckily for us, she lost a lot of power after hitting The Philippines, where she ripped through the inner islands and Luzon, leaving a trail of devastation and horrific loss of life.

This is our first of the season and it can only, and quite possibly will, get worse. We haven't had a hurricane-force storm (called typhoons here) for many years and we're well over-due. Perhaps this was just a little warning of things to come. The direction of this one meant one corner of my building was very exposed and I thought my kitchen and bathroom exhaust fans were going to pop into the apartment. I wasn't that happy about my bedroom air-con either, which sits above my bed, as they have been known to get blown in. For a lot of people, they haven't been here long enough to have known the horror of living through one of those force 10 storms. I hope none of us do in the season ahead. Being high up as I am, and with large exposed window panes (which are great for the view but a real worry during storms) it's never a comfortable feeling sitting through these things.

Apart from anything else, there are very heavy rain bands associated with this storm and our landslip warning is up again. Quite honestly, we've had enough rain to last us the summer, already, with almost three weeks of continuous sky juice. On May 12th, we had torrential rain all day and almost 7 inches fell in just one hour that morning. If only we could send that to those places under drought-alert.

End of weather report, back to your normal viewing now :)

Time to Meet the Family

2008-06-23T19:16:00.002+08:00

Not that there are very many of them left, but schedules and long-term plans permit us a small window of opportunity to venture off in a totally different direction, travel-wise. So next week, it's off to Scotland and Tenerife. Steve will be meeting my aunt (mum's sister) and my sister. And let's not forget Lupo.

The past week has been a blur of arranging three flights, five train journeys, a coach ride, an apartment, three different hotels. I finally got there though and everything should run like clockwork. Or at least I hope so. I learned a lesson a few years back, not to depend on British Rail to run on time to get me to a flight, so each flight is pre-empted by an overnight stay at the airport hotel. That time, I missed my Tenerife flight by a half hour even though I'd built in a three-hour safety margin, because the conductor on the train got clouted on the head just outside York and they refused to move until another one could be found. I was prepared to take charge of the whistle and punch tickets, but I'm sure the union wouldn't have allowed it.

We're looking forward to some more time together before THE time together starts. And what can I say, I'm tickled pink to be seeing my darling Lupo again :) :) :) :) It has been over a year since my last visit and I've missed him.

Let's hope Rhona behaves - so that I don't have to worry about putting up with too much nonsense from her, we're staying in another apartment and not sharing mine with her. So we can walk away if it comes to that. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that, mind you.

Loving Toes

2008-06-18T14:50:00.004+08:00

Finally, a few photos from our honeymoon in Phuket. I promise more later when I have time to sort through our flickr account.

This is where we spent an inordinate amount of time, day and night:

Our pool by day, looking into the villa

and by night, looking out from the villa:

The jacuzzi, extending over the water at the side of the pool:

And, our loving toes:

The Divvying Up

2008-06-16T10:20:00.004+08:00

Well, it's finally all settled. The Trust and the estate. Done. Completed. Available.

The greed has already started to surface a little. The wanting to get greasy paws on the money right away. Wanting to speed up things. Wanting to have cash in hand. Suddenly it feels a little 'dirty'. Things felt so very different when I was dealing with numbers on paper, when it was merely a possibility then a probability. Now it's actually there.

I honour my parents for doing this for us. While I don't 'need' it, there is no doubt that it will make life more comfortable down the road. I suppose my feelings of the apparent greed come from the other two needing it right now. And wanting to spend it, or at least a part of it, on personal extravagances. Neither have had this sort of money available to them before, I just hope they don't end up frittering it, or a good part of it, away. But then, it's none of my business what they choose to do with it. My parents entrusted me to guide the process and ensure fair apportionment. And now I must let go.

It just feels, well, unsavoury to me.

Closer and Closer

2008-06-13T13:36:00.004+08:00

Steve and I are getting closer and closer.

To living together.

To growing together.

To loving together.

To being together.

To everything.

And .... it feels fucking wonderful :)

Stretched Thin

2008-06-02T16:44:00.005+08:00

I feel stretched so thin, you can see through me. Inside me and through me, as though there isn't enough bulk to constitute an entire being. And goodness knows, those of you who know me or have seen me, are well aware that I'm pretty substantial in terms of 'being'.

I'm a strong person. A practical and responsible person. Dependable, reliable, I don't bend or break, but right now, I feel stretched to breaking point. I think with people like me, it takes a lot to make us lose our cool, a lot to be frozen into inactivity, but there are times, I do feel that might happen to me.

It's a strange thing to seemingly never catch up, to never even nose ahead a little now and then. I feel like I'm in a constant maintenance mode and that every time I finish something (and more often than not, before I do), yet another piece of work lands on my desk. Any hope to catch up on business reading, to properly prepare for yet another project meeting, are constantly dashed. It feels like scooting along by the seat of my pants all the time.

It's a little bit scary as my boss is newly pregnant and already complaining of extreme tiredness. What will this mean for me? Not so tired she can't take numerous short vacations over the next three months or so, mind you. Time away means I'm in the hot seat on each of those days she's not here. Which technically means my work plus her work. She's a real "let's do this, let's do that" kind of person, with this and that being extraneous to an already full workload. It's a thin line to walk between being excited about something that is good for us, and trying to put a spanner in the works because it would be more fun to finish something well before starting on the next big idea. A thin line to traverse very carefully lest one appears negative, or even worse, cynical.

Maybe I'm just getting a little too old for this game. Maybe I'm realising there's more to life than this. Maybe I need more balance in my life. Maybe I'm a big fraud who really can't cope with all this and just pretends to. But if I put in less hours here, what happens to the work? I don't want to appear ineffective but I think I've been doing it for so long, people have lost sight of how many sheer hours I put in here.

No Words

2008-05-30T18:23:00.004+08:00

I read once that the

ancient Egyptians had

fifty words for sand

& the Eskimos had a

hundred words for snow.

I wish I had a

thousand words for love,

but all that comes

to mind is the way

you move against me

while you sleep

& there are no words for that.

~ The StoryPeople ~

The Scent of My Man

2008-05-25T21:51:00.003+08:00

I change my bed linen every week and I was supposed to change it a week ago, the day he left.

But I couldn't. I couldn't bear to part from the last thing he left behind. His scent on the sheets, the pillows. Today I did the laundry. Fitted bottom sheet, top sheet, duvet cover and five out of six pillowcases. I kept one pillow untouched, the pillow I hold every night, the pillow I snuggle with and breathe into.

The pillow I fall asleep holding every night, as though I'm still holding him.

Sichuan

2008-05-23T08:53:00.004+08:00

This is a terribly tragic image to view, so you may not wish to continue. I loaded it lower on the page in case you don't want to look.

With China's one child policy, a whole generation has been wiped out in some villages and towns. When schools collapse while other buildings remain relatively intact next to them, this is not a natural disaster, it's a criminal act.

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Caption: Rescue workers remove the bodies of children from the rubble of a collapsed primary school in Dujiangyan ~Reuters

I was going to post my thoughts about the awful devastation but there are really no words. All I can say is this: If you are able to, please give.

Back to Here and There

2008-05-19T20:57:00.003+08:00

Two whole weeks of an amazing time together. No work, no commitments other than pleasurable ones, no demands, no separations.

Now we're back to here and there again, with half a world between us, but what an amazing honeymoon we had. I'm facing a crippling workload and a surge of issues about the house in Scotland to deal with, not to mention a depressed sister, once more.

But the only thing that makes me stop and ponder, is the fact I'm sleeping solo again and I quite simply do NOT like that. I miss him so terribly. More than I ever have before.

Will post some photos as soon as I can.

Six Weeks Later.....

2008-04-28T10:26:00.003+08:00

Update:

Flights - check and thank you my travel agent for pulling this seemingly impossible feat, out of the hat.

Spa Pool Villa at Banyan Tree Phuket - check check check - and thank you my good friend for making such an amazing honeymoon possible!!!

The Spa Pool Villa epitomizes the Banyan Tree experience of romance, indulgence and rejuvenation. Its elegant 'floating' bed pavilion is set amidst tranquil lily ponds; the king-sized bed is draped in pure Thai silk and looks up on a canopy ceiling adorned with soft fabrics that sway gently in the breeze. Your dedicated in-villa spa, private pool, jet-pool, outdoor shower and sunken bath set the stage for passionate nights and pure relaxation.

Passionate nights and pure relaxation are the order of the day :)

Finally we're getting our honeymoon. My husband (that always brings a huge smile to my face) is coming out for a visit, for two whole weeks! Apart from seeing Hong Kong and meeting all my awesome friends, I'm planning a real getaway. Time to pull in a favour from someone who owes me a few. Most likely, we'll be spending five nights at one of these resorts. As we don't want to travel too far, it will be either Bintan (Indonesia) or Phuket (Thailand).

Personally, I have my eye on this one: The Spa Pool Villa epitomizes the Banyan Tree experience of romance, indulgence and rejuvenation. Its elegant 'floating' bed pavilion is set amidst tranquil lily ponds; the king-sized bed is draped in pure Thai silk and looks up on a canopy ceiling adorned with soft fabrics that sway gently in the breeze. Your dedicated in-villa spa, private pool, jet-pool, outdoor shower and sunken bath set the stage for passionate nights and pure relaxation:

There will be lots of lounging around. Lots of pillow time. Skinny-dipping in our private pool. Getting sand between our toes (and who knows where else) on the beach. Some great food. Spa treatments. And even a round or two of golf. But best of all, we get some time together. For just us. We need that so very badly.

How He Makes Me Feel

2008-04-24T10:31:00.004+08:00

People will forget what you said.
They will forget what you did.
But they will never forget how you made them feel.

~ Maya Angelou ~

Aint that the truth!! Just a few words of wisdom from an amazing woman and an amazing writer.

Today is our one-month anniversary and I would just like to announce....that I LOVE HIM beyond words. Hence no attempt to describe the love I have for him. I will never, I can never, forget how he makes me feel. And that is L-O-V-E-D, just simply and truly and absolutely, loved.

Tesoro mio, I love you, always and in all ways - and I'd write it in big letters across the sky, if I could. Happy Anniversary my precious husband.

Getting There

2008-04-22T08:13:00.005+08:00

A milestone passed yesterday, in that I have signed all the forms and documents required to take my mother's estate to 'confirmation'. Once the tax man reviews it all and makes sure he's getting his slice of the action, then it goes to the Sheriff for final sign off. It always makes me think of Robin Hood when they refer to an official as being the 'Sheriff'.

After that, the interesting part will begin. Fair apportionment of the sum total of our parents' lives. It's a strange feeling doing this - while I don't mind taking on the responsibility, and it is definitely an honour to have that trust given to me, there's just a small part of it which feels as though I'm peering into something so very private about my parents' affairs. As though I'm rummaging through their bedside drawers. I'm thankful, though, at the same time, as all three of us will benefit in no small way from my father's hard work and my mother's prudence. My brother and sister most of all, as they don't really have much/anything to fall back on and this will make a true difference in their lives.

I'd still give up every cent of it, to have my parents back. I wonder if my siblings feel the same way, though. Their constant questioning of when the process will be over, of when we can sell the house, of when funds will be available, sickens me somewhat. I totally 'get' that they are looking forward to their inheritance, but do they have to seem so greedy about it? And, has either of them offered to help me with anything, even beyond the legal stuff I committed myself to handling?

No. Not once. It's all left in my lap, including now a problem with the seawall upon which the house sits. I'm in no better position to handle it than either of them. In fact in terms of hours, I'm the furthest away. But of course all they see is that it may entail the need to pay out ahead of the estate being settled and neither wants to be responsible for that. In the meantime, I've raked up an outstanding account of over five figures (in sterling!) paying for things which needed to be paid for. Don't worry, I'm keeping very close tabs on this and the first payment that can be made, will be reimbursing me for those outlays.

It really is at times like these, that you realise what you're dealing with, when it comes to 'family'.