I Do

And we did, on 24th March!

While in Santa Fe, we eloped. While we work out the best of our several options, we are apart again, but not for too much longer. We just didn't want to wait, to be married.

To say we're both ecstatic, would be an understatement!

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Irene Swain, our Officiant, has kindly given special permission to reproduce the words she spoke at our service (with the request that this is not duplicated for any other wedding, unless it is material quoted by an author), so that our friends and family may share in our special moment:

[TO THE COUPLE]: ________ and ______, face each other holding hands; so you may feel the gift that you are to one another.

Marriage, and the union it symbolizes, can be one of the most wonderful of human experiences; for Love, in its infinite manifestations, is truly what life is all about. Today, we come joyfully to acknowledge the commitment of ______________ and _____________, to share their lives in marriage.

The essence of this commitment we honor as marriage is the conscious choosing to live your life fully with another, in one’s entirety, as lover, companion and friend. It is therefore a decision that is not to be entered into lightly; rather undertaken with great consideration and respect for both one’s partner and one’s self.

"This Love of which I speak embodies patience; It looks for a way of being constructive. Love is not possessive; Love is neither anxious to impress; nor does It cherish inflated ideas of its own importance.

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; Love can outlast anything. Love is in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen."

Love does not demand; Love compromises. Love does not possess; Love frees. Love softens our rough edges and strengthens our best qualities. Knowing we are loved inspires us and invites forth our best effort. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy, an inner peace.

May we celebrate the choices made by someone dear, even when they run counter to our own desires. We are each blessed with a destiny, unique and necessary to ourselves and to the others in our lives. We must be allowed to travel our own individual path to fulfillment. Let us not bind one another and know real Love.

The realization of Love’s many levels is the highest experience that we human beings have; and this is the meaning of our lives. The sensual part of love is one of life's greatest joys, and when this is combined with real friendship and continued growth in understanding, both in the marriage are infinitely enhanced.

Love not only consists of gazing into each other's eyes, but of looking together in the same direction. The day-to-day companionship, the pleasure in doing things together, or in doing separate things, and in delighting to exchange these experiences, is a continuous and central part of what a man and a woman who love each other can share.

Marriage is the intimate sharing of two separate lives; yet this sharing must not diminish, but enhance the individuality of each partner. A marriage that lasts is one that is continually developing; and in which each person is individually developing while growing in understanding of the other.

Deep knowledge of another is not something that can be achieved in a short time and real understanding of each other's feelings can develop fully only with years of intimacy. This wonderful knowledge of one’s marriage partner, grows out of fully caring for each other so much, that one wants to understand as completely as possible what the other is thinking, feeling, and experiencing.

Thus it is possible to share not only your joys and successes, but also share those times of challenges, personal doubt, sorrow and feelings of failure. To be known in this way, to be understood and accepted in this loving manner, is a priceless, precious gift.

While marriage is the union and intimate sharing of two lives, it can enhance the differences and individuality of each partner. You must give yourselves in love; but you must not give yourselves away. A good and balanced relationship is one in which neither person is overpowered or absorbed by the other.

Thus, it is out of this tension and balance between separateness and union that Love, whose incredible strength is equal only to its incredible fragility, is born and reborn.

_________________ and ________________, you are both in love and you are in love with each other. To love is to create; is to laugh; is to play; is to share; is to dance; is to fly; is to prevail; is to grow; is to smile; is to dream; is to live!

We are joyfully gathered here today to celebrate the love which _______________and ___________ have for each other, and to give deep and loving recognition to their decision to love and accept each other totally without reservation. Into this state of marriage these two persons come now to be united.

These are the hands of your best friend, soft and strong, and full of love for you; that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other; today, tomorrow and for all your moments together. These are the hands that will work and play alongside yours; as together you create your today; thus your future. These are the hands that will hold you, when fear or grief assails your heart and mind. These are the hands, that will countless times, wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands, that will tenderly care for your children; and the hands, that will help you hold your family as one. These are the hands, that will give you strength and honesty, when you need it. And these are the hands, that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours; still giving you the same unspoken tenderness - with just a touch.

[TO THE GROOM] Do you ___________, take ___________ as your wife? Do you pledge to share your life honestly and openly with her; to speak the truth to her in love. Do you promise to honor and respect her; to cherish and encourage her fulfillment as an individual, through all the changes in your life together?

[TO THE BRIDE] Do you ___________ take ___________ as your husband? Do you pledge to share your life honestly and openly with him; to speak the truth to him in love. Do you promise to honor and respect him; to cherish and encourage his own fulfillment as an individual, through out all the changes in your life together?

(Minister asks for rings): These rings are made of precious metals, a symbol of the riches that reside within each of you. And as any metal is purified by the white heat of testing; so will your love be purified by the tests that are given to you through the many seasons of your loving.

REPEAT AFTER ME:

__________, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am; all that I will become; and all that I have. I promise to stay by your side as your husband (wife); to respect and love you, without reservation; comfort you in times of sorrow; encourage you to achieve your goals; grow with you in mind and spirit; and cherish you, for as long as we both shall live.

As _______ and _________ have vowed to be evermore understanding, honest and loving toward each other; formalizing in our presence the existence of a stronger, greater, and more profound union between them; we bear witness to the ceremony they have performed - the ceremony that now names them - husband and wife.

I should like at this time to speak of some of the things, which we here present, and those not here, yet thinking of both of you, wish for you.

We wish for you a love that makes both of you better people; that continues to give you joy and enthusiasm for living; that provides you with energy, patience and understanding to face all the responsibilities of your life together.

May your hearts be filled with an abundance of generosity and gratitude towards each other. May you appreciate and compliment each other’s differences. May you be patient and kind toward one another. May you listen and hear each other; and walk together peacefully, while giving loving time and conscious attention to any differing points of view. And may your sense of humor and playful spirits always continue to enliven your relationship.

We wish for you a home - not just a place of stone and wood, but an island of higher understanding, tolerance and serenity, in a sometimes seemingly confusing, complicated world. We hope that your home becomes a place of personal, private joy and retreat, and also serves as a temple, wherein the values of your life are generated and upheld. We hope that your home stands as a symbol, of humans living together in love and truth, seeking harmony amidst any adversity. We hope that your home encompasses the beauty of nature; that it has within it the elements of simplicity, joy, love, truth, peace and a harmonious balance with all the rhythms of life. We wish for you a home filled with melodious sounds of kindness, laughter, welcome-ness, understanding - a home with all the characteristics, which represent the highest qualities of men, of women, of family.

We wish for you full, meaningful lives, enriched by your relationship with one another. In the years ahead may you say: Because you have loved and respected me, you have given me an ever deeper belief in myself; and because I have witnessed the good reflected through your words and actions toward others; I have received from you a faith in the goodness and caring of true humanity.

May these two people now married, keep this covenant which they have made. May you be a blessing and a comfort to each other; sharers of each other's joys; consolers in each other's sorrows; helpers to each other in all the elements of life. May you encourage each other in whatever you set out to achieve. In trusting each other, may you trust life; and not be afraid to live more fully. May you not only accept and give love and affection between yourselves; yet also together show kindness and consideration for others.

We can experience no greater truth from Love, than the truth to love more openly, more honestly, and more deeply. We can expect nothing from Love, except what Love gives. We do not always consciously choose what life experiences may manifest for us; but we can shape the spirit with which we shall meet them.

_______________and ____________, may all that you have already become, which has brought you to this day; and all you will become as a loving effect of it - in the lifelong joining of your hearts and your minds - continue to show you your purpose. May you always stretch your vision of who and what you are as a couple and as individuals. May you always be brought most beautifully and steadfastly into the presence of yourselves and of one another; and may you live long and happily fulfilling all that you are.

It is now my great pleasure and joy to present you for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. _____________!

___________, you may now kiss your wonderful bride!


Apache Blessing:

Now you will feel less rain for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel less cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other. Now there is less loneliness, for each of you are companion to the other. Now you are two individual persons, yet there is a joined life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. May happiness be your companion and may your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness, which your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives; remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight. Go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your togetherness, and may your days be good and long together.