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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

All That Is Left Of Me

Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes and I am left the same. The more things change the more I am the same. I am what I started with, and when it is all over I will be all that is left of me.

~ Hugh Prather ~


Steve said...

I hope you find the trust that is necessary, to finally "let go" of yourself.

Sunny Delight said...

hmm this quote finds a different viewpoint in me it seems that it does with steve....

I have deep within me a feeling of who I was born to be...who I was before the big bad wolf came to visit...

And she will always be there...every new lesson in my life changes me...but she takes those lessons and adds them to that beautiful tapestry of who I am, of who I will become, the threads are every color, some dark/dangerous, some soft and light, some so bright my eyes want to look away, but some of those threads are metallic gold and silver, threads that tie me together, that glimmer in the moonlight of my soul, to remind me to hold onto my original inner me, because she is me.

Have a great week, I am already looking forward to catching up on my reading when I return from vacation.


*leaves chuckling*

Fiona said...

So much can be read into those few lines.

Steve, I've spent years hanging onto my self, not myself, and it's really what has made me a survivor.

I've trusted and been betrayed several times and each time I trust it does get a little harder and I do hold back a little for me.

Sunny, that was beautiful....truly beautiful, you are indeed a most wonderful tapestry of a woman and one I'm proud to know.

For me, what I'm reading in Mr. Prather's words is that I AM what I started with and it's only because of what I started with that I am here today. And that if that is all I'm left with then I will be in a good place.

Sunny Delight said...

Acushla, I really think we are at the same place....funny thing is when I wrote those words I was feeling so centered, so happy with me, I trusted me...how just a few days can change things. I read those words now...and I think...wow...did I write that? Yes I remember that feeling, I spent the past few days trying to keep it afloat inside me...

Funny, for the short time we have been visiting each other's blogs...I have missed you, I am so happy to have found you.

Fiona said...

I rarely post over the weekend...mostly because I'm more comfortable on a full-size keyboard than my little notebook one...it's weird that a mere keyboard can apparently influence my thougths.

Also, I seem to have more cohesive thoughts when I'm at work, which is when I post. Usually a thought comes to me, often just the title of the post, then during the day I fill it in and post sometime in the late morning or afternoon.

I know exactly what you mean...I can go from punching the air yaying myself, to deep insecurity that almost paralyses me, sometimes in a matter of hours. There are times it IS hard to keep the good stuff floating around us. Strangely enough, my post for the day is going to be something along those lines, I'd already decided on that.

And woman you are such a blessing in my life, you really are *big smile*. Did you hear me berating you for giving me nothing to read over the weekend?!

Sunny Delight said...

I know what you mean about the keyboard, the past few days there were so many things I wanted, no, needed to write down, but pen and paper just wouldn't do it....there is something about sitting in front of the keyboard, I can just let my thoughts flow, and the words come out..sometimes meaningful words, and other times drivel...but they are my thoughts, my words.....

And thank god you know where I am coming from...I have really started to wonder if I am turning into one of my schizophrenic clients! I went from feeling so wonderful....to feeling like..hmmm...like total pond ooze!

As to posting...my god how can I top that? It was awesome! LOL

BUSTYGURLZ--really do---RULE!

Fiona said...

oh yes we do rule ;)

I woke up this morning and eewww my toothpaste sucked....eeewww my makeup looked like crap...eeewww what the hell do I look like in this getup...eeewww my bald patch is even worse than ever....eeewwww I wanted to yell at people...stop looking at me, I know I know I look like I shouldn't be out here

I wanted to hug the walls all the way into the office, disappear in the cracks in the pavement....the barista at starbucks took way too long to brew up my latte with the extra shot...people STOP STARING at me

I need something good to happen at work now to make me feel good about myself....just one of those days I need the 'happen' to make me feel better about who I am.

But I have to admit YOU have made me feel better already woman!!

Sunny Delight said...

And you my dear have helped me, even though I seem to be exchanging comments with you instead of writing my own "crappy week" post :)

God maybe it is the day! Even though I think it is Monday for you already, and it is just now turning into Monday for me....I remember leaving on Wednesday..and feeling so good about me, with me, and as each new day came, I would look in the mirror and see this fat-old-hag looking back..and think where did she go..where is she, where is that woman I was just a few short hours ago? God-damnit why is she hiding? I liked her a helluva lot better than the one I am seeing/feeling now!

:) See what I mean...total schizo this week!

Sooo, buy a new toothpaste--just not the bubblegum flavoredone- that one really tastes totally yuck!

Take a walk down to the ladies room...turn around fast...and when you see that amazing looking woman looking back at you in the mirror--give her a big smile and tell her she is beautiful! Cause ya'are darlin', ya'are!

Fiona said...

hahahahahaha...I did the twirl and the twirl and the twirl and I better twirled!!!

Damn I DO look better when I'm dizzy!!!

Thank you *L*

Sunny Delight said...

lol, as long as you feel better :) that is all that matters!

Fiona said...

I do - my galpals have a way of doing that for me.

I'm just a dizzy redhead at heart!

I trust you, too, are feeling more delightful ;)


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