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Monday, August 28, 2006

I Weep

A the drop of a hat these days. I don't know why.

I feel my eyes filling and then the salty fluid toppling over the edge of my lower lids, leaving big fat hot tears to run down my face. I'm not crying or sobbing, just weeping. No sounds, no gasps, no drawing of breath. Just the tears.

Something is spilling over from inside me and I haven't figured out what it is yet. It doesn't take long for them to start either. And it doesn't seem to matter where I am.

I wonder if they are helping. Am I releasing something that needs to be released? Or am I simply a wimp?

There is a part of me inside that aches and yearns and needs. But I don't know what I'm aching for, or yearning after, or needing so much.

Perhaps a life not yet lived. A love not yet shared. A meaning not yet found.

7 comments:

Miranda said...

You are not a wimp. We all have days like that. I hope you find what it is you are searching for.

Steve said...

our minds can lie to us...
but our bodies can never lie about anything.
there has to be something causing it.

you know the reason honey...
keep listening to yourself.

LePhare said...

It may be the Scorpio in you. I'm married to a Scorpio and there are often tears for no reason, like a safety valve.

Sunny Delight said...

Oh darling woman, you are no wimp, you are releasing, all tears have value, maybe these tears are allowing room for more healing to occur, you have a lifes worth of pain, of sometimes feeling powerless, of loves lost and found, and that yearning, that yearning sometimes fills us in such overwhelming proportions that it has to find its release. Let the tears flow, let them cleanse your soul, and ready you for your many beautiful tomorrows, for you will have them, I know you will---because as I have said before..I am right 98% of the time! *L*

plus ya gotta remember.....

~BUSTYGURLZRULE!!!~

chele said...

I cant add much to all the wonderful well thought out comments already here but I will say this..We all need to grieve in our own way and in our own time. I dont think you have had time to do that. Any other person would have caved under the losses you have suffered but you always stay strong and think of others..Think of yourself for awhile Fi..let the tears flow and as sunny said cleanse your soul..Sunny days arent far off for you.

Dayli said...

Let them flow. Tears not cried are more painful that those that are.
Hugs from far away....
D.

Fiona said...

Thank you all - collectively and individually for your kindess. I am touched. See this makes me want to weep too!!! Niceness does that to me :)

"Tears not cried are more painful that those that are."

That is true, oh so true!!!

 

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