Touching .... and Being Touched

I'm a very tactile person. I like to touch in all ways. To reassure, to emphasise, to comfort, to bridge a gap. And most of all to show affection from my heart to the person I love. I crave the warmth of another body pressed into mine. I want to kiss and be kissed without boundaries.

I've never been involved with a tactile person. I suppose the closest I got was my ex-husband and he loved to touch, for an audience, but not when we were alone together. And he had HUGE intimacy issues, which led to the demise of our relationship.

The last guy I was involved with told me he loved to snuggle and kiss. And lo and behold I found that to be a total untruth. To the point I felt I was smothering him because when you do touch and caress and hug and snuggle and kiss, with a reluctant partner, that's how you feel. I was being me and expected from him what he'd told me and instead I ended up feeling so bad for being so tactile. So I did what one does, I adapted to his level of intimacy which was almost non-existant. I tried to make it work, despite these differences, for two years but had to admit defeat in the end. I want to be with someone who fires my soul, who drives my passion to an even higher level and all I got was, well, routine and structure and frankly so little excitement I couldn't even bring myself to want what little was offered.

We split up, mutually agreeing it was best, but he quickly decided he had lost something good and I'm not going to disagree with that! But I still need the man who will fire my soul, drive my passion and, quite honestly, leave me in a puddle on the floor. He will never do that for me. But he insists he is a changed person, he insists he knows he needs to be more tactile, to hold me, to kiss me, to cuddle with me. I listen and I really do appreciate he wants to try. But I don't want someone who has to TRY to love me and show his love for me.

I want someone who knows he loves me, who touches me and wants more, that even touching isn't enough to satiate his desires. I want a man who will possess me and let me possess him. I want a man to intertwine my heart and soul and mind and body with. I want a man who touches me no matter where we are, who will pull me to him and hold me as though the world is about to end. A man who can't get enough of me and who breathes fire through his nostrils with a need for me. I want a man with a heart and soul open to mine and god, my god, I want to be touched in every way possible. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

I think I just met him.