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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Touching .... and Being Touched

I'm a very tactile person. I like to touch in all ways. To reassure, to emphasise, to comfort, to bridge a gap. And most of all to show affection from my heart to the person I love. I crave the warmth of another body pressed into mine. I want to kiss and be kissed without boundaries.

I've never been involved with a tactile person. I suppose the closest I got was my ex-husband and he loved to touch, for an audience, but not when we were alone together. And he had HUGE intimacy issues, which led to the demise of our relationship.

The last guy I was involved with told me he loved to snuggle and kiss. And lo and behold I found that to be a total untruth. To the point I felt I was smothering him because when you do touch and caress and hug and snuggle and kiss, with a reluctant partner, that's how you feel. I was being me and expected from him what he'd told me and instead I ended up feeling so bad for being so tactile. So I did what one does, I adapted to his level of intimacy which was almost non-existant. I tried to make it work, despite these differences, for two years but had to admit defeat in the end. I want to be with someone who fires my soul, who drives my passion to an even higher level and all I got was, well, routine and structure and frankly so little excitement I couldn't even bring myself to want what little was offered.

We split up, mutually agreeing it was best, but he quickly decided he had lost something good and I'm not going to disagree with that! But I still need the man who will fire my soul, drive my passion and, quite honestly, leave me in a puddle on the floor. He will never do that for me. But he insists he is a changed person, he insists he knows he needs to be more tactile, to hold me, to kiss me, to cuddle with me. I listen and I really do appreciate he wants to try. But I don't want someone who has to TRY to love me and show his love for me.

I want someone who knows he loves me, who touches me and wants more, that even touching isn't enough to satiate his desires. I want a man who will possess me and let me possess him. I want a man to intertwine my heart and soul and mind and body with. I want a man who touches me no matter where we are, who will pull me to him and hold me as though the world is about to end. A man who can't get enough of me and who breathes fire through his nostrils with a need for me. I want a man with a heart and soul open to mine and god, my god, I want to be touched in every way possible. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

I think I just met him.

13 comments:

freebird said...

Wow! Good for you. Let's hope he comes up to expectations - and more. And you're so right not to believe the other guy would change. With the best intention in the world a person can't change his nature in that way - he might TRY hard, but it wouldn't come naturally and therefore wouldn't last.

Steve said...

Touching has always been my "love language" too! I hope that he always "lights your fire"... and you "become a puddle on the floor" with him all of the time! :) And that, he "becomes a puddle on the floor" with you as well. Two puddles... that make up one puddle that each of you can look in! LOL! And, I think you are right: TRYING will never be enough! You just can't try to love someone. You do, or you don't. I hope that this man always loves you the way that you should be loved, Fiona. Good for you, dear! :)

Fiona said...

So far so good freebird :)

I know the other one wouldn't have changed...sure he might have changed his actions, but they wouldn't ever have been coming from the right place, or for the right reason.

Steve :) It feels amazing, just amazing!!!

Sunny Delight said...

Darlin' your words are beautiful, from your heart, and something so many just don't know how to do....I am so happy for you, and him, because he is a very very lucky man to have your love.

BUSTYGURLZRULE!!HUGS

to make it perfect-- the word verification almost spells quickhug...*l*

Fiona said...

Got to love that word verification thingy....hahahahhaha looking down at the one I have for this post...

lovgxp!!

Sunny, I feel every bit as lucky, so incredibly lucky, to have found this special man and to feel the love he has for me.

Gillette said...

Very happy and extremely excited for you Fiona!

Something leaves..and joy steps in to replace it, yes?

You GO girl!

Fiona said...

Gillette!!! Thank you so much. It's true how something so good has happened to me, I almost feel undeserving of the goodness of this man.

chele said...

All in good time right? You know my thoughts already so I wont add them here but..I'm very happy for you and wish the best for you both. You deserve more than you have ever gotten and dont forget that!

Fiona said...

Chele...you know so well what I've been through recently, and you were there every step of the way...so your wishes do mean so very much to me...hugs

chele said...

Sisters of the heart..forever and ever :) There isnt a step I wont take with you cause thats just what we do!

I like to splash in puddles can I come along? hehe!

Fiona said...

hahahahhahaha bring your wellies chele, this could be a deep one!!

chele said...

You know i got some hip high wellies..I have a horse barn that I must keep clean remember!!

Fiona said...

woo hoo chele....kinkyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....now I have this image in my head of you in thigh-high rubber!!!!!!

 

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