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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

There Was A Time

There was a time, I thought myself unworthy of love.

There was a time, I was told so.

There was a time, I believed my lovability had expired, like a can of soup which had sat on the shelf too long. Constantly being shoved to the back as the nice new supplies, with their bright pristine labels, faced the world in front of me.

It's so damaging to be told that you can't be loved, that you don't deserve to be loved. That you're not beautiful enough to be loved. People who say those things to another should not forget that this can mutilate a person's spirit. They should realise that a person's life, and all its potential, can be destroyed just because they don't want to love you. Don't do that to someone. Just let them go, let them find what they need and want, when you don't want them any longer. Let them have hope. Don't destroy it with words and actions. Don't strip them of their possibilities in life. Don't, just don't.

Now, I know I'm worthy of being loved. Not just loved, but loved in a grand and wonderful way. Someone reached up onto the shelf where I sat and not only accepted my slightly tattered label, the lustre of my aluminum now faded, but he found beauty and substance in me. And it turns out, I was just what he's been looking for too, and wanting and hoping to find.

And you know what, all those years at the back of the shelf, helped me develop into a sumptuous soup, better than anyone could have imagined. They just didn't care to find out. I'm glad they didn't, because the man who brought me from my solitude is the man who was born to love me. As I was born to love him. It's as deep, and as simple, as that. I am blessed by his love.

*I did warn you this would be a mushy week!


anna said...

Sadly the people who should be reading this post and paying attention will never even give it a second thought. Those are the people who are, in my opinion, so filled with self-loathing that they need to crush others in order to feel superior themselves.

I'm glad you found someone who thinks you're the tastiest thing around. ;)

George said...

Brave Fiona ... people are so mean and hurtful that it becomes second nature to them and they don't consider what they do to people.

Jonas said...

I enjoyed this entry, Fiona. I've reached the age (geezerhood) when I no longer accept anyone's definition of me. I ponder others' words, certainly, but I won't take them to heart until I am convinced they are true. It's up to me to define myself...and become what I am meant to be.

Right now, I believe I'm a tepid bisque (that, of course, is subject to change).

Steve said...

"mmm, mmm good!!!!" ;)

Fiona said...

Anna - it's true that it takes self-respect not to have to get your kicks at others' expense. And yes, I'm so lucky to have found this incredible man :)

George - I think they always know, at some level, but get some sort of selfish satisfaction from it. Poor them hey.

Jonas - wondering what a female geezer would be called *L* It's taken me a while, and I'm still working on it, but I'm getting there :)

Steve - hahahahahahahahaha uh huh, I'm mmmmm mmmmm gooooooooooooooood ;)

Sally-Sal said...

I loved this post!!! And yes, you are indeed sumptuous!

I really like the mushy posts :)

Anonymous said...

Such a wonderful feeling isn't it?

I read your posts and think wow those are the exact thoughts that go through my mind.

Unfortunately I do not say them as eloquent as you do.

Thank you for sharing that :)

Anonymous said...

It's nice to be loved, cherished, held by another but I've learned in the past year that those feelings that I thought came from another, actually come from within me. You have always been loveable Fiona, it's just that, now you believe it. No matter what happens you are loveable.

Princess of the Universe said...

That's beautiful Fiona!
And absolutely true- you do deserve it, and are oh so sumptuous!

Fiona said...

Sally - hiya hon!! You're pretty darned sumptuous yourself. And thank you :) There will be more, I assure you!

Oblivion - we do have so much that is so similar. I'm glad my words resonate for you :)

Deb - yes, it's true that they have to come from within and over the past nine months I'm learning so much about that. He pulls my good feelings to the surface of me, so that I can feel them with the intensity which I do :)

Princess - it's all so new to me but I have to say, I am SO enjoying it and he is SO good for me and to me!!

Maurey Pierce said...



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