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Thursday, July 05, 2007

I'm Not Waving, I'm Drowning

I got through Tuesday by working until almost 10pm (with a 7am start). I'm getting through Wednesday (with a 7am start after waking up at 4am) but it's a battle. I feel the quicksand beginning to take hold. I'm sinking a little today. Too many meetings and too much unexpected work added to what I knew I'd be facing. Suffice to say we have a major management meltdown at one of our operations and I'm part of the fire-fighting team.

I still have three open positions for which I'm interviewing and today I've had to actively shuffle those, with repelling the trio of banshees who provide administrative support to the Directors. One is going on holiday and the world is falling down around them because I can't allocate the person she wants to sit in for her. Ladies, take your show on the road because right now you are so low on my list, you're almost not there.

My assistant has been furiously tapping away at her computer all day and running to interviews she's holding, too, and Anuja has hardly looked up from her desk except for our excursion to the British Consulate at lunchtime. She works against a tight deadline every day, to get home to her little one by 6pm.

And then there's HER. Our newest department manager. Supposedly my 'peer'. Huh! She has a clear desk and I'm sure she's been surfing the net all afternoon. Apart from the always-forthcoming stupid questions aimed at Anuja (who does most of her job for her anyway), she doesn't contribute anything. Oh and did I mention that she regularly leaves at 4:00pm to go to the hairdresser? It took me only a week after her arrival to name her 'FW'. It rhymes with duck-shit. I was told to give her a chance, it's because she's new. Well guess what, she's been here a year now and I'm not the only one who uses that nickname for her. What can I say, I call them right most of the time.

Blogging has become a release for me. A time during the day when I can escape from everything I'm buried under and let my brain roam free. Free. Freeeeeeeeee. It's a glorious feeling to just let it go, like water, and find its own level. I'm not procrastinating, really I'm not.

I'm sure I'll feel better after I vent with this post for tomorrow. Ach maybe I'll decide not to post it. But I probably will. My shoulders ache and I feel really tired throughout my entire body, but my mind is still running at Olympic record-breaking speeds. It's 6pm and some people have already ended their day. For me, I don't see an escape before 9pm. And if my ex-boss emails me one more time saying that August and September will be eventful, but manageable, I'm going to bop her one. I should have made her do my job with hers for two months, before she left, to give her an idea of what's involved. And just for the pleasure, added some spectacularly unexpected events which require heaps of woman-hours.

Oh well, back to scripting dreaded job descriptions. And then I have to wait for a decent hour to call our employment lawyer stateside, during his July 4th celebrations. Bet he'll love that! I'm sure he rues the day he ever gave me his cell number. Really, though, all I want to do is settle into the arms of the man I love and let him smooth the tension from my brow. Aaaah, if only.

Update today: Here I am again, only three hours of sleep but I did get two phone calls with my love. Serious far-reaching stuff, but all is very, very good between us. His was the last sound I heard before I finally fell asleep and also the first I heard this morning. Oh how I'd love all days to be like that. I hope all my friends in the US have had, and are having, a brilliant 4th.


sophie n said...


oh my gosh fi...

you're pic scares me...

i feel like its gonna reach out and eat me...yikes!

George said...

Will saying ... it'll be better soon ... help? Because it will ... you know that.

Sunny Delight said...

George is right, it will get better, just not as soon as you would like!

I have said it before, and I will say it again...You are a strong, intelligent, creative woman! You will get through this...and then...


Many hugs, and even a shoulder massage if that will help.

Fiona said...

Oh dear Sophie, sorry about that!!! Hugs back at ya :)

George - today has been better, I feel more in control, I've got a few things out I had to put on the backburner yesterday and I seem to have pleased the powers that be with what I did yesterday. I do feel better.

Sunny - tis ture, I do. Probably helped by my phone calls, especially the second one ;) Today, my computer crashed twice and they've had to replace it - darn I must have really put it through its paces yesterday ;) Thank you for the email - BBGR hugs to you sweet woman!

freebird said...

Hope things continue on the up, Fi. Meanwhile let your spirit soar in blogland. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! Thank heaven for blogging!

Fusion said...

ah, I hope things continue to improve there Fiona, Hang tough!

Fiona said...

FB :) I hope so too. I believe things will get better eventually. I had a good day today and managed to check a couple of things off my list, always a good feeling :) And yes, gotta love the blogging world!

Fusion - I actually got home at 9pm today, an improvement over the past two nights. Busy day tomorrow but then it's the weekend and recovery time ;) Thanks for the encouragement!

LePhare said...

The things you put yourself through Fi. Take care.

tad my uti! What sort of word verification is that?

Fiona said...

What doesn't destroy us, makes us stronger, right Ian :)

Oi you, put your uti away, noone here is going to tad it! *L*


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