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Thursday, September 07, 2006

Being the Keystone

In architecture, a keystone is the stone at the top of an arch. It is the supporting element for the entire arch — without it the arch would collapse.

How many of us become the keystone in our relationships. Being the one thing that holds it all together. Sometimes enduring great sacrifice by having to take up that role, that all-important load-bearing role.

I suppose some of us would revel in that responsibility, that feeling of being indispensable. Some of us may even seek out that type of not-so-symbiotic relationship. I've been the keystone once and I really wouldn't like to be it again. I want a relationship where we share the importance of being the keystone. Yes, sometimes I will need to take on primary responsibility for keeping the arch intact. And sometimes I may need him to be the keystone in the whole thing.

But most of all, I want the joy of knowing that together we can hold this magnificent structure, this beautiful arch of our making, up together.


Sunny Delight said...

Your insight into a good relationship is so on target. In a good one, we take turns being the keystone, I think I was raised by a "great sacrificer", thus becoming one myself.... for many years I lost me somewhere along the way...as do many women. Sometimes we get that position put upon us without even realizing it, until it feels as if it is too late, and we wonder how much longer we can bear the load. Some crack under the pressure, some fall out, and tumble away, some find the balancing point...I hope that is what I have done....tis a hope anyway.

D3M!!!!! and bustyhugs too :)

Zibi said...

Fiona ... The question is will you and you sis be able to handle me? ... LOL ... I'm sure we'll have a blast!!!

Fiona said...

Good point Zibi - well tell me more about you and I'll let you know ;)

Fiona said...

Sunny...I love how you spoke of how "some fall out, and tumble away".

I was in a relationship once that caused the loss of 'me'....I don't ever want to be in one of those again.

I want my next relationship to be healthy and mutually supportive. I want it to be a union of growth and sharing. I want respect and appreciation and I shall give the same. I want to enjoy the wisdom of age as well as the retention of child-like play at times. I want to honour and be honoured. And most of all I want to love and be loved. In glorious, life-affirming, soul-enhancing ways.

It's not too much to ask is it?

LePhare said...

Mentally we are mutually supportive but physically I have to be keystone, arch, pillar and retaining wall. It's the hand that's been dealt, so it's played the best way we can.

There's idealistic love and real love, but they are not always the same. I've always expected nothing, and when something good happens, that's the bonus. I am rarely disappointed.

Hope you find what right for you.

Miranda said...

Yes even though there should be some kind of balance, there is always that one that is a bit stronger in keeping it together.

Steve said...

I agree.

You should not ever be the "keystone" alone. You have to be joined.

The arch is like an upside-down "U"...honey. Where the "U" stands for "Us."


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