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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

"The Space Between the Rock and Tree"

A little background. R was CFO with us when M and I worked together a few years ago. A great executive, respected, admired and a little feared, but only by the clueless. R has been stricken by brain cancer, third and final relapse, and will not be long with us. I broke the news to M the other day.

From M*:

"Ahhh, Fiona so sad. All his achievements and dogged by this. As you know I admired his intellect, insights and audacity. I believe he would have become the CEO had he not resigned. Who knows what that choice has led to.

I recall how particular R* was about looking after himself, the Herman Miller chair, the staying only where the air was filtered. It's always a ponder when we consider how some fears, even the irrational, become what we head for. Mountain bikers know that when you enter a curve and see a rock obstructing the path, you must look at the space between the rock and tree otherwise you will head for what you are focused on, i.e. the rock.

A*'s father married her mother when he was 54 and her mother was 23. He died when A was 11. Some might say the match was ill-suited. It is what it is, and it produced A, which produced S* and A2*. So the match had incredible contributions for the cost of a small inconvenient departure from conformity.

Live the present, it's the only reality. Yesterday, apart from being gone, has already been distorted by all those who experienced it, so memories of it are not reality, merely our interpretations. Important, but not reality, although over time they become the reality of what happened, when we hang on to those and encounter what others believe happened, then we argue and debate such futile subjects. Tomorrow is a blank space until we fill it with what we expect it to be. Then our unconscious and the people and circumstances we gravitate to, will make it close to what we expected.

Poor R, I wish him this time free of fear and only that which empowers him.

Thank you for sharing this with me,


I miss the widsom, insight and perspective M brought to the table. He certainly made a difference to working here, and continues to make a difference to how I view life.

Who is who:
M - my ex boss
R - our ex CFO

A - M's wife
S - M & A's daughter
A2 - M & A's son


Matt Kohai said...

I'm very sorry for your future loss. He sounds like he was a great person. The idea of aiming between the rock and the tree is brilliant advice, and not just for bicycling...

Fiona said...

I feel privileged to have known R, for all too brief a time.

And yes, Matt, that is wonderful advice for life, isn't it :)

Fusion said...


Hugs Fiona

Fiona said...

I'm sorry Fusion, that must have been so hard for you to read.

I hate this insidious disease.


sophie n said...

i'm sorry...


Steve said...

Like your title says, Fi...
I like what M* writes:

"you must look at the space between the rock and tree otherwise you will head for what you are focused on, i.e. the rock."

Jac said...

Yeah, I put that image in my file of great "quotes" too!

Anonymous said...

M shared a lot of great insight.

M and R sound like incredible people.


Fiona said...

Sophie - thank you :)

Steve - I have been so very lucky to work with two special people in my life, people who shared more than just their professional knowledge, but also their personal knowledge with me, P and M. M often finds ways to express thoughts like this one and I value his contribution to my development and continued understanding.

Jac - it has also found a place in mine :)

Ob - I am so fortunate to know him. I knew him a long time before he moved here to be my boss, and I owe him an incredible debt of gratitude because even though I left him to go and pursue my own journey, he didn't hesitate to bring me back here, when my life started to cave in on me.

Fusion said...

I hate it so damn much...and I'm so sorry for you Fiona.

Be strong.

Fiona said...

Oh Fusion, it's everywhere....we even have a 39 year old at work here with it. She's fighting hard. I hadn't seen her for a few weeks and then yesterday she was in working (we let her come in when she feels up to it, I believe it helps her keep strong) and I could hardly recognise her.

There really is no guarantee of tomorrow, it's important to live today.

Hugs to you.


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