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Monday, March 12, 2007

The Wisdom of Surrender

The Wisdom Of Surrender
Relying On Others
Daily OM Inspirations

Most of us pride ourselves on our self-sufficiency. We like to be responsible for taking care of ourselves and pulling our own weight in the world. This is why it can be so challenging when we find ourselves in a situation in which we have to rely on someone else. This can happen as the result of an illness or an injury, or even in the case of a positive change, such as the arrival of a newborn. At times like these, it is essential that we let go of our feeling that we should be able to do it all by ourselves and accept the help of others.

The first step is accepting the situation fully as it is. Too often we make things worse either by trying to do more than we should or by lapsing into feelings of uselessness. In both cases we run the risk of actually prolonging our dependency. In addition, we miss a valuable opportunity to practice acceptance and humility. The ego resists what is, so when we move into acceptance we move into the deeper realm of the soul. In needing others and allowing them to help us, we experience the full realization that we are not on our own in the world. While this may bring up feelings of vulnerability, a deep feeling of gratitude may also emerge as we open to the experience of being helped. This realization can enable us to be wiser in our service of others when we are called upon to help.

It takes wisdom and strength to surrender to our own helplessness and to accept that we, just like every other human being, have limitations. The gifts of surrender are numerous. We discover humility, gratitude, and a deepening understanding of the human experience that enables us to be that much more compassionate and surrendered in the world.

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I've always found it hard to ask for, and accept, help. My upbringing was very much: Figure it out for yourself and get on with it. But I'm learning. Every day, I'm learning.


Anonymous said...

Asking for and accepting help are the hardest things to do and yet I enjoy helping others, so by not asking for help I'm depriving others of that wonderful feeling you get when you help someone. It's a catch 22. A rock and a hard place. Scylla and Charybdis, is that spelled right? You get the idea.
I think part of the not wanting to ask for help for me is the thought that I don't deserve it or that I should be able to do this on my own and it's only because of some defect in my character that I can't do it on my own. Quite a head case I am.
I think I need to get over myself. As always I enjoy coming here. Maybe I'll even make it to Hong Kong sometime with my husband.

Fiona said...

I agree Deb, I'm a huge 'helper' and very generous. But receiving, or worse yet, asking for help, are so hard for me. And you're right, by doing that I'm depriving others of the joy I feel when I'm able to reach out and help. Definitely catch-22 at work!

No, not a headcase, it's hard to show vulnerability, or that we're not totally self-reliant.

Would love it if you could make it over here!

Fusion said...

One of the first things I remember reading when my wife got sick was in a booklet for cancer patients and their families. It said you will need help and you need to learn to accept it when offered. Allow yourself to be helped.
It was a very humbling thing for me, who was a very take care of things myself kind of person. But I took it to heart, and allowed many others to help us through to the end, and beyond. And we were blessed by it.

Sunny Delight said...

I have watched this happen so many times with my clients, with myself, we think we must to it all ourselves, we are afraid it will cause a burden to others if we ask. But as Deb says, we deprive others of that wonderful feeling of "helping".

A slowly learned lesson, that of asking for help, but once again, you are one of those people in my life, who has taught me the lesson "two heads are better than one".

"Ask and ye shall receive" I will try my best to be there for you anytime one from afar can be.

Oh, and btw.....I loveya darlin'!

Fiona said...

Fusion - we are indeed blessed by the giving hearts around us and yes, I am learning to accept help...and compliments :)

Sunny - thing with you is, I don't even need to ask and there you are :) And remember, it's the same for me...whatever I can do, I'm your woman!! I love ya too!


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