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Friday, October 12, 2007

I'm Back - I Think - For a While - Perhaps

I feel as though I've fallen down a deep, dark, narrow well and have spent the last week-plus scratching at the walls trying to crawl out.

I see a light, a faint glimmer of one, and I hope to hell I don't drop back down away from it again. Nothing to worry about my dear faithful-and-terribly-ignored-lately readers. It's just work. And work. And a bit more work. It's expected at this time of year but, combined with breaking in a new boss and trying to share almost 20 years' of knowledge of the company to her (she wants to know everything) , I've been somewhat worn thin these past few weeks. She's now been with us for five weeks and quite honestly, it feels more like five months!

We're both getting there, beginning to develop a pattern, a flow, an understanding of how to work well together. She has described herself as 'having a party going on in her head all the time' and boy oh boy it's more like a carnival than a party. We flit from one thing to another, we scratch the surface on something and then it's on to the next subject that she's thinking about right then. I feel as though I would benefit from sheep herding skills training.

I haven't been altogether complimentary about her and that's unfair as she's a really, really nice person. Lots of fun and easy going. Oh and very complimentary about what I do for her. I can't fault her on so many things, I just wish that party inside her head would pack it in for a day or two. It makes me wonder why she doesn't feel the need to address that particular 'flaw' as she's quick to identify it.

My problem is that she's disorganised. And she rushes at things. I'm all for forging ahead but it has to be done in a way that is cognisant of consequence. Sometimes that is lacking. There seems to be an issue in prioritising too. And understanding that I have a job to do that isn't about waiting for her to throw something else at me that really doesn't warrant being a priority right at that moment. I've started to notice another issue - she'll start something and then when it gets a bit messy, it finds its way to my in box. Mind you, sometimes that's better, with her in the mix it can be altogether very confusing to work out what's going on.

Change is good. Change brings fresh ideas, new blood, a different way of looking at things. However, it can also bring confusion, chaos and not just a little frustration. I believe she'll learn the way of things in these parts. And also that being at the strategy and policy making level means careful, studied, considered thought. The work we do can't be subject to constant change or whim or fancy. The consequence of an error can cost us dearly in time, money, manpower, resources and even reputation. But I'll soldier on, for a few more months anyway. I bet that when the time comes around for me to leave, she and I will have forged such a great relationship, it will be hard to desert her. But go, I will.

I have a couple of good ideas for posts, it's certainly time I had a post on here that is at least a little thought-provoking. The brain, however, is a little mushy right now and having worked an average of 15 hours each day this week, I just feel like I need some sort of respite from even placing my fingers on a keyboard. Maybe next week.

I've been an atrocious friend to so many who email me and then have to wait up to a week for a reply. I've wandered around your blogs at random as a way of kicking back and giving myself just a little respite during this crushing time. Reading my favourites is like digging into a box of Godiva chocolates - each one is so sumptuous and one or two are never enough.

My love and I are on a four-week countdown today and quite honestly, it's what we both REALLY need. Now would be better than having to wait another four weeks but we can do it. We know the joy which awaits us. I can tell you though, I'll be sitting on that plane flapping my arms to try and get across the Pacific faster.


S'mee said...

"I have a couple of good ideas for posts"......... Will food be involved Fi?

Just nice to have you back. Take care. S.U.H.

Fusion said...

I knew you've been busy at work, sorry it's been worse than I thought though, here's hoping it gets better from here out!

Take care Fiona!


George said...

One thing to remember Fiona ... do not burn yourself out over the next 4 weeks. Start cutting the hours back so that the week before you leave will be a "regular" work week. After all, you don't want to be so tired that you'll have to spend all your away time in bed, do you?

Read what you can when you can .. they'll all be there tomorrow or the next day.

Who Me? said...

Welcome back darling!!!

You are working far too hard and I agree with George that you will definitely need to make your last week at work before your break a regular one!!

I have just had an entire week off and gone on a holiday for the first time in a year, and what happened? My rundown body became sick at the first opportunity!

Thankfully, all I had to do was laze around and read my book and watch the children playing :)

You have much more taxing 'things' to do! So heed George's advice :)

D said...

Fi just focus on the fact tat in less than 4 weeks you'll be having a ball and some time next year you and your 20 years of experience aren't going to be called on in the same way.


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