Name Calling is Interesting

A short while ago, I received several juvenile comments on a post I'd made. One of them was this gem:

fiona the adulteress said...
CALLING ALL WHORES WHO FUCK MARRIED MEN!!REPENT! ALL YE WHORES OUT THERE! REPENT!!

Of course there was no identification, no trackback to who had placed it there. But then again, it's not really the sort of handiwork one would want to own up to, is it?

It did get me thinking, though, about that wonderful word being bandied about in the statement, "whore", the primary definition of which is: "A woman who engages in sexual acts for money, a prostitute". I rather like this statement, too: "However, its definition may be extended loosely to include any sexual act for any type of compensation." Well, that means I'm no whore as I have never, not in this relationship nor any other, bartered sexual activity for a monetary reward or any other remuneration, whether financial or in kind. Not gifts, not flowers, not dinners, not vacations. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I've had so few sexual partners, a fact I'm very comfortable with.

I knew a man, once, who had to buy affection and intimacy from his ex-wife. A new car here, a fur coat (ugh!) there, once even a diamond ring. Now that, to me, is an absolute and utter whore. His wife, yes. A whore, yes. The sad part is, there are quite a few men being taken in by that sort of woman, who think it's normal to maintain a balance sheet of sex for gifts. I was the woman who came after her in his life and nothing could repair his lack of self-esteem. He never managed to understand that sometimes you can just love a person without material reward being involved.

And then there are women and men who use sex as a weapon. Who offer it up then withdraw it because it's a game. Who make the other person want it then say they don't. It's a powerful thing, sex, but it should never become a commodity to be traded. Sex to me always has meaning, it can't just be a 'release' or the equivalent of a workout. It's precious and meaningful and is to be valued. That's not to say I don't enjoy many types of sex, from the loving, gentle, tender style, to the hard, urgent, take-me-now sort of love-making. But only with a man I love.

I've seen comments and posts in blogland where women speak of wanting the gifts, the dinners, the vacations, the attention, before they'll 'put out'. And in more serious instances, there are women who prostitute themselves for the daily necessities, for a myriad of reasons. A woman wrote a comment on a friend's blog a little while back, basically saying that it was the time of month when she had to offer up sex to her husband, in order to keep a roof over her head. I'm not meaning to put anyone down when I speak of this, and I'm not privvy to the circumstances surrounding such statements. Perhaps I'm just lucky that I've never had to make that sort of trade off. Or perhaps I just never would.

But a whore? No, I'm not.