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Saturday, September 08, 2007

Live Life Forward

Yesterday is but today's memory,
and tomorrow is today's dream.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~


In my (recently restricted) travels through the list of blogs I read, I've noticed that for some, there are times when it's hard to move forward, without at least looking back longingly. Even when things weren't brilliant, there's a tendency to still look back and wish things had been different. To almost believe they were better than they have been.

I've been guilty of that, too, over the years. Especially when I was alone. Wondering if 'something' wasn't better than 'nothing'. And at times I believed 'anything' might have been better than 'nothing. Thank goodness those thoughts were short-lived. Thank goodness I was able to move past living like that. And thank goodness I kept my resolve, all except for once. But eventually even then, I managed to shake off that bad relationship and move on.

Without a doubt, it's hard to pull ourselves away from the known, into the unknown. It's easier to stay in our own comfort zones, even when they are tinged with discomfort. I admire people who make that move. Who take the risk of finding something better at the cost of losing something that's merely tolerable on the good days. Sometimes better doesn't come right away, sometimes it's a long way ahead. But until you start to live life forward, you'll never know.

So for all of you out there who have looked life in the face and said: "Yes, I want more than this", and have gone on to do something about it, you have my admiration. I'm not saying that has to involve changing who is in a relationship with you, it may mean being really honest with that person about what you want and need. It may mean realising what has gone before, isn't what you want to have ahead, and doing something about it. For those who stay, accepting a situation that doesn't fulfil you, a situation where you sacrifice yourself for the sake of others, I hope that one day you get a little selfish and seek your own dreams. I hope that you manage to burst the bubble of unhappiness, inside which you live.

I have today. I maybe have tomorrow and the days after that. I no longer have my yesterdays. But each and every one of them, got me to today. It's those yesterdays and my today, which will get me to tomorrow. I'm grateful for all my yesterdays, good and bad. But I love living in today. And I also love today's dream of tomorrow, with all the promises it will bring.

12 comments:

Miranda said...

Very good post. So true, so many on here looking for something better, wondering if where they're at is right or not. Is the grass greener? If only we could look into a mirror and see just a glimpse of the future, I think then alot of people may take that leap....or may not.

anna said...

I'm among those wondering, trying to figure out which way is forward. This post could have been written about me.

Who Me? said...

Here's to living life forward!

*Who Me & Fiona clink glasses of REAL French Champagne*

'Something' is NEVER better than 'Nothing'

Life is short I say :-) Make the RIGHT choice for the RIGHT reason!

You have done that Fiona. Lucky you :-) Even with the the hard road ahead that you face, you do it with the man you love.

deb said...

I've been having a hard time moving forward for years. I am very dissatisfied with the relationship I have with my husband, he's so closed off and distant. I'm trying to live and speak more honestly and see what happens. I feel guilty though, thinking about moving forward without him.
I know, in my heart, that I have to be honest with myself first and live how I think I need to but I still feel bad, like I'm abandoning the ship.
I do want more but I'm afraid to ask for it because if the answer is no, I will need to move on. If I don't ask, I can stay here.
Does that make any sense?

freebird said...

Like Anna and probably a few others around here, I almost feel this post was written for/about me. Thank you for writing it anyway, Fiona, it's just what I needed.

Lickety Split said...

Excellent post. It's only natural to wonder about the decisions we've made in the past. It's important to note however, that we make the best decisions we can with the information at hand at the time.

A great quote I heard once was that "God put eyes in the front of our heads so we can look forward, not back."

I would be lying if I said I truly lived my life with that attitude because I am perhaps the most analytical person I know. The only retrospect that is truly painful is that which is filled with decisions or outcomes that were knowingly for the wrong reasons...such as when my parents meddled in my first love (they didn't like her) and that ended it. She still, to this day, doesn't know that they had that much influence. I am greatly ashamed over that. If not for that though, I wouldn't have learned.

Retrospect is important.

Sunshine said...

An inspiring post Fiona and so very true.
I love that quote lickety :)
We have to keep our eyes on where we want to go or its easy to get stuck.

Fusion said...

I thought of you Freebird, and several others including myself in this.

Thank you Fiona.

S* said...

Excellent post.

This makes me think of the Buddhist idea of "Mindfulness", which I try to hard to adhere to.

"Mindfulness is a technique in which a person becomes intentionally aware of his or her thoughts and actions in the present moment, non-judgmentally."

With it you development insight and wisdom into oneself and you're not mired in the past.

Evening said...

So true. This is a very thoughtful post.

Fiona said...

Miranda - Thank you :) Part of the challenge, part of the thrill is not knowing. If life was filled with certainties, we'd never push ourselves to risk :)

Anna - One day you'll just know. I spent many a year in indecision, wondering if, but, perhaps. But one day I just knew exactly what I wanted. We get there, eventually :)

Who Me? - Hahahahaha it took me a while to realise who this was from ;) The hard road only serves to confirm to us that what we're doing is right, that we're meant to be together. Anything too easy would be just, well, too easy :)

Deb - It makes perfect sense. Like you, I have often not asked, for fear of the answer I might get. I hope you can work through some of the issues and you know Deb, sometimes we can be surprised :) The last time I had to abandon ship, it was either that or going down with it! I wish you joy and love in your life, in bucketfuls :)

FB - I did think of you and some others as I wrote and I know sometimes it's like me rubbing salt in wounds because I've found what I've wanted for so long. And you will too, one day, I believe that :)

LS - Yes, we absolutely do make decisions with what we know, when we make them. And hindsight is so easy, which is why I always try to keep looking forward and not get a crick in my neck :) Retrospect IS important, but never regret or wishing things were different in the past. They're not, nor can they be. But yes, having retrospect, and in particular learning from what has gone before, are important in the looking forward :)

Sunshine - It's easy to lose focus and direction and end up going in circles, if we lose that sense of purpose, if we lose sight of our goals. Maintaining the status quo is easy, pushing beyond can be oh so hard. Thanks for coming by :)

Fusion - Yes, you did all play a part in this post. Thank you for being my inspiration :)

S* - Absolutely and that is a beautiful quote. I do definitely use mindfulness in my approach to life, but as in all good buddhist teachings, I am a student of life and therefore of mindfulness :) Thank you!

Evening - Thank you :) And good to see you here!

Green-Eyed Girl said...

Beautifully put, Fi. What's amazing is that we're making decisions even when we don't realize it. I could never have foreseen the crazy path that has led me to where I am today. But some part of me, if not always the conscious part, knew what I needed to do. I even needed to make my mistakes. We all do. Because then we deal with the consequences, good or bad.

 

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