If It Was Within The Realm Of Possibility

I'd hang the moon for him.

There are days I think my heart will explode, so overloaded with love it is for him.

Today has definitely been one of those days.

The Eyes Twitcheth

These poor eyes are tired and sore. Oh, and they're twitching. My upper eyelids are twitching like crazy today. If I close them and lay my fingers lightly over the lids, I can feel the twitching beneath my fingertips. I've had twitching eyes before but never solely on the upper eyelids.

I was talking with Nooj earlier about our workload. That's the problem with being overly-capable. We're being dumped on because our new boss knows we will make it happen and make it happen well. The other seniors in the department are pretty much just coasting along still. Perhaps what they need to realise is that this new one will allow a little coasting, but not for long.

Monday mornings are bad enough without an avalanche of emails on every subject under the sun. One thing she did warn us about, is that she's very disorganised. That should be VERY disorganised. She hops from one thing to the other, never finishing the item before. I have, right now, six major pieces of work in the active mode. And at least 20 minor pieces, but which keep being pushed to the back burner as more things get added to the list. At least, this morning, for the first time in two weeks, I managed to sort out the mountain of paper on my desk and update the files that need updating. I also wrote out an entirely new things-to-do-list. Just looking at it makes my heart beat faster.

I worked last week on average, 14 hours a day. There was one day I worked from 6:30am straight through to 10:30pm, with only about 45 mins for lunch. By Friday evening, I was dead. On Friday evening, after collapsing on my bed and immediately falling asleep, I was woken by a text alert. I texted my love with a reply and then fell back asleep immediately, waking several hours later and wondering what on earth was in my hand and what time was it and hell, what day was it?

I slept a lot over the weekend which helped a bit. But quite honestly these long days are not as easy as I used to find them. This old dame just aint what she used to be. And having to deal with incomplete, if not mixed, messages is just plain tiring. And time wasting. And frustrating. As much as my old boss had her issues, at least she thought things through before acting on them. And there are only so many times one can argue things without seeming to be totally negative.

I miss my online friends, I miss emailing them. I miss hearing from them, even though they've been so good about emailing me, particularly when they get no response. I need a holiday. I need my love to hold me and nurture me. And I need to hold and nurture him. The 10th of November still seems so very, very far away. But thank goodness we have that date locked in. I know parting from him this time will be harder than any other visit. We have our future ahead and each day is a day towards our shared life. But it's hard nonetheless. We both have found the courage we need and now it's a matter of time. All we need is a little time to reach our goals.

One thing is for sure, as time goes by I'm going to miss this job less and less.

A bright spot in my day - I found these in the local deli. Yummy!

Frazzled

It's just not letting up. And this morning someone got pissy with me because I can't fit in a couple of interviews for a managerial position in his department, until next week. I snarked back that if I manage to grow an extra head and pair of hands by tomorrow, I'll be more than happy to comply with his request.

I'm definitely feeling overly 'crisp' around the edges.

Oh great, now I want a bacon butty with HP sauce.

Where in the World?

A pictorial guide to our next trip, now confirmed to be in the first half of NOVEMBER!!!

We'll be landing here, within an hour of each other:

Then hiring a car to drive northwards, for spa and wine fun:

After a couple of days we'll then drive south to here, for an overnight and a round of golf:

Before hopping into the car again for a drive along an historic road:

Which will take us a couple of days to do properly, ending here:

Then driving northwards again for a day here:

Before our return to this beautiful city and flights west (me) and east (him):

FULL Bicycle Shorts

The other day, Deb wrote a post, with this picture:

As my ex-boss is an avid mountain biker, I forwarded it to him and commented on his choice of biking attire. Our email conversation went like this (I had to cut/paste to remove the email information as we were both on our work systems) :

Me: I wonder if this is why I've only ever seen you in BLACK cycling shorts?!

Mark: Not only not red, I also wear baggies these days. Baggies are de rigueur and anyone turning up with lycra gets the customary exclamation of "Au Contraire" (explained below).

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha but I thought the tighties kept everything from being pounded into mincemeat by the saddle....or do you wear some sort of foundation garment beneath the baggies :) Enquiring minds need to know!

Mark: Yes, although we don't call it a foundation garment, we call it a liner. It's a mesh, tight-fitting version of the tight bike shorts, it keeps everything in its place, and has a chamois under the bum for padding. Being mesh keeps you cool and probably looks even more interesting than the lycra shorts.

Me: I see. It sounds interesting - well with the leather and lace going on like that, why bother with the 'overcoat'?? ;)

Mark: Yes, I must remember to call my liner a 'Foundation Undergarment Leather and Lace'. In US military speak it forms the acronym FULL and you can strut when you FILL them.

Me: LOL....I like that ;)

Mark: So when someone enquires "How are you?", I can say "FULL.

Me: of?

Mark: Just FULL of it.

Me: I'm so tempted to expand the 'it' word....but I'll behave and say....you'll be known as the It Boy ;)


The reference to "Au Contraire" comes from a time Mark was interviewed by the newspaper here and was quoted as saying "au contraire" to a comment by the journalist. Everyone who knows him just cracked up because he'd NEVER be that much of a poser. But we all do love to tease him with it. And so it has become a rallying cry for his cycling group and is oft quoted back to him by me, when he says something I don't agree with!

I do miss working with him. And he says the same about me.

Bella Bella

Isn't she the most beautiful puppy ever! So aptly named, for Bella is truly bella. D sent me this latest pic and I had to share it, he calls it "Stripey Bella".

Bella is the mother of my next dog. When I told D that I only take rescued animals as my pets, he told me he'll lock up one of her puppies in a barn and I can rescue it *L*.

She's growing up so fast!

Live Life Forward

Yesterday is but today's memory,
and tomorrow is today's dream.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

In my (recently restricted) travels through the list of blogs I read, I've noticed that for some, there are times when it's hard to move forward, without at least looking back longingly. Even when things weren't brilliant, there's a tendency to still look back and wish things had been different. To almost believe they were better than they have been.

I've been guilty of that, too, over the years. Especially when I was alone. Wondering if 'something' wasn't better than 'nothing'. And at times I believed 'anything' might have been better than 'nothing. Thank goodness those thoughts were short-lived. Thank goodness I was able to move past living like that. And thank goodness I kept my resolve, all except for once. But eventually even then, I managed to shake off that bad relationship and move on.

Without a doubt, it's hard to pull ourselves away from the known, into the unknown. It's easier to stay in our own comfort zones, even when they are tinged with discomfort. I admire people who make that move. Who take the risk of finding something better at the cost of losing something that's merely tolerable on the good days. Sometimes better doesn't come right away, sometimes it's a long way ahead. But until you start to live life forward, you'll never know.

So for all of you out there who have looked life in the face and said: "Yes, I want more than this", and have gone on to do something about it, you have my admiration. I'm not saying that has to involve changing who is in a relationship with you, it may mean being really honest with that person about what you want and need. It may mean realising what has gone before, isn't what you want to have ahead, and doing something about it. For those who stay, accepting a situation that doesn't fulfil you, a situation where you sacrifice yourself for the sake of others, I hope that one day you get a little selfish and seek your own dreams. I hope that you manage to burst the bubble of unhappiness, inside which you live.

I have today. I maybe have tomorrow and the days after that. I no longer have my yesterdays. But each and every one of them, got me to today. It's those yesterdays and my today, which will get me to tomorrow. I'm grateful for all my yesterdays, good and bad. But I love living in today. And I also love today's dream of tomorrow, with all the promises it will bring.

My Absence

Yes, I am alive! But busy as hell right now though, as my new boss arrived on Tuesday and I've been totally swamped since then with keeping things going and helping her settle in. Her nickname is 'The Woman of a Thousand Questions'.

I owe emails right, left and centre. I promise next week I'll have more of me to share around. Please stay tuned and be safe, happy and positive!

For those who are interested, everything on the luuuuuuuuuurve side continues to be phenomenal. Apart from the fact that December (egads!!!) looks like the next window of opportunity trip-wise, for both of us *insert sad face*.

The A380

This morning, the world's largest passenger airliner performed a low-level fly-past in the harbour as part of an air expo here.

I really don't like that second photo, it's too reminscent of 9/11. Mind you, that's the true perspective of it, as it was flying below the top of our skyscrapers. NOT the usual flightpath for our airport and if I'd been in the high floors of that building (just across from my office building) I think I'd have been a bit freaked!

Airbus superjumbo jets through Hong Kong

HONG KONG (AFP) — The world's largest passenger jet, the new Airbus A380, flew over Hong Kong's harbour Monday below the skyline of some of the world's tallest buildings, an airspace normally reserved only for helicopters.

The double-decker plane made the flight across Victoria harbour ahead of the Asian Aerospace International Expo and Congress, and then treated thrilled onlookers with a second fly-past minutes later.

The stunt took place despite the giant plane pranging its wing against an airport hangar in Bangkok Saturday, one of its destinations on an Asian tour to try and drum up business.

The bump caused slight damage to the tip of the left wing, officials said, but the plane was still able to fly on.

The plane was not allowed to fly below 1,000 feet (305 metres) during its fly-pass, Hong Kong aviation authorities had said, but it was still below the top of International Finance Centre Two, Hong Kong's tallest skyscraper.

Crowds gathered at harbourside to watch and photograph the flight, unusual for Hong Kong as planes are rarely given permission to fly directly through one of the world's most famous waterways.

The A380 heads to Seoul on Wednesday on the final stage of its tour.

Airbus now has 173 of the new planes on order from 14 clients. The first delivery, to Singapore Airlines, is due on October 15, and the first commercial flight, between Singapore and Sydney, is scheduled the same day.

And

And, and, and, and, and.

It's amazing how often my love and I have commonality of thought. We were talking together during our last visit and from our conversation came the concept of 'and' instead of 'but'. Of how we both understand and desire all the 'and's we can have together. That 'but' does not have a appropriate place in our vocabulary, nor in our future life together.

So often, like this, a thought from one of us triggers the other's mind. One of us will come up with something and the other just climbs on board and expounds on the subject. We pull things from each other's mind that we hadn't really thought about until the other brings it to the fore. And then it's like two minds working as one. We understand concepts between us, with only a few words. We express them to each other not only with words but with the necessary accompaniment of smiles and touches. It's the sharing of our wisdom.

I've never had this level of communication with anyone ever before. Mind you I've never had this level of so many things, until I met this amazing man. This man who lights up my life in ways I never thought possible, or indeed that I could ever deserve them.

We're moving forward, every day. And we're happy, deliriously so.

And, and, and, and, and .....