A New Outlook

Finally, a couple of photos of the view from our new apartment (click to enlarge):

This photo shows the view over the bay with the beach to the middle-left. The monstrosity appearing just in front of the beautiful mountains is a new 5-star hotel, left half-built since last year. In front of the curved building are some lovely bay-side restaurants and on the right of it is the ferry pier.

A slightly hazy day but you can see in the distance, the business centre of Hong Kong, with Hong Kong Island on the right and the Kowloon peninsula on the left and the harbour flowing between. The first island to the right is Peng Chau, originally a little fishing village but now it's a little commuter island (with some very good local restaurants I've heard).

It's a far cry from the view we left behind:

Quickie

Hello to those who haven't given up dropping by, after all there's really not much to see around these parts at the moment. Sorry about that but life just seems so full right now. So onto the update:

1. Boys came, boys saw, boys conquered. We all had a great time, especially them. They loved Thailand! It was great getting to know them and I was particularly taken by the older boy who was just so hungry for the experience and got so much out of this trip.

2. Found a new apartment. Stunning, and I mean STUNNING views. A balcony for Lupo and I've been arranging furniture in my head for two weeks! We move in on the 28th. It will mean a 30-minute ferry ride to and from where I work but it's worth it, to be with Lupo again.

3. Lupo and Toffee are now slated to travel end of August - Rhona again threw a spanner in the works by not getting Lupo's rabies jab done in time for an end of July travel date.

4. Bought a new bed. Super duper bed. Individual pocketed springs. And added memory foam Tempur Millenium pillows to the package. Wish I could afford a memory foam mattress but those babies are expensive!!! Heck the pillows were US$150 each but my goodness they feel incredible!

5. Survived a direct hit from a typhoon over the weekend. Bit of an odd one as some places reported nothing more than a spot of wind and rain, while other places had trees down and property damage. For us, up on the 35th floor in Mid-Levels, it sounded like the air-conditioner was going to be blown on top of us. Howling, screaming wind for about three hours during the night.

6. Will try and get a bit better with my posting - and with pics. Must show you all our new view once we're settled.

Hope all is well in everyone's universe, I do try to keep up with you and post on your blogs when I can.

The Adventure Begins....Truly

UPDATE 2:30pm 18 June - they're all here, finally.

A volcanic island in the north Pacific is causing air travellers consternation as a massive plume of volcanic ash clouds the skies thousands of feet above the volcano, making air travel impossible.

Northern Pacific flights bound for Japan, Shanghai and Korea are being cancelled or rerouted due to volcanic ash spewing from the Russian volcano, Sarychev Peak.

Well, the boys are having their first adventure and they haven't even arrived yet.

Due to Sarychev Peak on Matua Island in the Russian Kuril Islands blowing its top, flights to Asia on the northerly route (as in Detroit to Tokyo) are being diverted. The boys ended up in San Francisco after leaving Detroit, to make another connection onto Tokyo. This, unfortunately, means missing their Tokyo connection to Hong Kong later today. We had checked that the boys were safely on the Detroit to Tokyo flight and only found out early this morning from a call they made to their mother upon arrival in San Francisco.

So it was all battlestations and trying to find out what was going on as Northwest had done nothing to contact us to alert us as to the issue. They gave me one option - they would book them into a hotel in Tokyo on arrival, with the airline continuing to be responsible for them, and make sure they're on the next flight out. That next flight out, however, is tomorrow at the same time, meaning they'd be stranded in Tokyo for about 22 hours. On their first trip out of country.

Well, as you can imagine I wasn't impressed by any of this so put my points forward in a rational, measured way. A few calls later, they finally patched me through to a Manager. I must say he was very helpful and only raised my hackles once, by saying that the airline felt this was an acceptable solution. I said, with all due respect, that wasn't the airline's decision as to what is acceptable for my husband's children, without any sort of consultation. I was willing to meet them more than half-way, by taking care of Steve's flights to and from Tokyo, the overnight accommodation, and only asking that they make sure all three are on the flight back to Hong Kong tomorrow. Due to overbooking (they are taking all missed connections onto that flight), they could not give him a seat on the same plane as the boys. After some negotiation, they put the boys on a Japan Airlines flight tomorrow (not bad considering they are flying on mileage points and airlines don't like inter-line transfers for that type of ticket) which I was able to match with Steve's ticketing arrangements.

Result - Steve is now on his way to Tokyo to meet the boys off the plane (he'll get there about an hour before they do), take them into his care and spend the night with them. The earliest connection is on Japan Airlines tomorrow at 9:55am so they are all booked on that.

Another expense in an expensive month, but it was the only acceptable solution. Poor Steve was pretty upset about all this but several phone calls to Northwest, some magic from my wonderful travel agent and a quick trip to the bank for some Yen, all is solved.

As I said to him, for the boys this will be another adventure for them to talk about when they get home!

Countdown - One Week

In exactly one week, Steve's boys will arrive for their three-week summer break with us. We'll be doing loads of touristy and non-touristy things here, chomping through food both known and as yet unknown to the boys, traipsing around malls and outlets and markets.

As part of their holiday we're spending six days in Phuket, at the Banyan Tree. That will be a little different from our honeymoon trip, with an 11 year-old and a days-shy-of-15 year-old. There will be no skinny dipping in the pool, for one thing.

I'm excited and just a little trepidacious. While we've talked on the phone and web-cammed a little, we've never been in the same room together. My fervent wish is that, by the time they leave, they will think of me as their friend. And I shall have gained two more.

Steve, needless to say, is counting the minutes!

Eye Eye

Isn't it amazing, the fun you can have with a half-filled water bottle!

Deb Is Gone

Debby Greer-Costello

Deb was an incredible person and everyone who knew her was blessed by having her in their lives. She is gone too soon but put up an incredible fight against leukemia, and showed more courage, dignity and humour, than I've ever witnessed. She leaves behind her parents, brothers and sisters, and a beautiful nine year-old daughter, Zoe.

When I first 'found' Deb's blog, she was full of vim and vigour, a strong, enabled, lovable kinda gal who wasn't shy about sharing her ups and downs in navigating her world. In 2005 she shared with us, her leukemia diagnosis and we followed through her initial treatments, the good times when she seemed to have this thing beaten, and then sadly how it reached deep into her and grabbed her back. She fought it, my god but she fought it.

Your fight was long and hard, Deb, and you gave everything you had, even in the last days. I'm grateful to your sister Jenna who so kindly, despite her own pain at seeing her sister suffer, shared with us how things were going, to keep us in your life, when you no longer could communicate to us all through your blog.

Deb, you will be missed. And never forgotten.

As We Look Back Over Time

As we look back over time

We find ourselves wondering .....

Did we remember to thank you enough

For all you have done for us?

For all the times you were by our sides

To help and support us .....

To celebrate our successes

To understand our problems

And accept our defeats?

Or for teaching us by your example,

The value of hard work, good judgement,

Courage and integrity?

We wonder if we ever thanked you

For the sacrifices you made.

To let us have the very best?

And for the simple things

Like laughter, smiles and times we shared?

If we have forgotten to show our

Gratitude enough for all the things you did,

We're thanking you now.

And we are hoping you knew all along,

How much you meant to us.

~ Clare Jones ~

Food Glorious Food

Someone wrote on my fridge - "I miss your food posts, have you eaten lately?" I wonder who that might be!

Actually yes, I've definitely eaten lately but it all comes down to Steve loading the pics onto Flickr so that I can post them here. Problem is, he's a perfectionist when it comes to his photos and wants to crop and brighten and contrast them some, before he's happy with revealing them.

Let's see. We have pics of an incredible Valentine's Day Dinner at The Verandah, we have pics of tapas and sangria at Mija's by the bay (two or three visits), we have multiple pics of many dim sum meals, we have pics of roast goose at Lippo Chiu Chow, we have pics of dinner at Chang's, we have pics of a magnificent anniversary meal at Spring Moon, we have pics of birthday dinner (both of our birthdays) Wagyu beef at Felix's, we have pics of afternoon tea in The Lobby. I think we might even have a pic of me eating deep fried pig intestines at the flower market during Chinese New Year. And more I can't even remember right now!

So, yes, I've definitely eaten. Now I need to figure out how to get Steve to give me access to his pics. I'm cooking Sausage, Onions and Peppers with Linguine tonight so that will help. Then there's my special Tortolini and Eight Vegetable Soup tomorrow. Maybe a Boeuf Bourguignon on Saturday, or perhaps another visit to Mija's this weekend. Now THAT should give me some bartering power ;)

All I have to share right now is our last dim sum lunch with friends and new babies, at the City Hall (pics untouched and released only because of pressure from those who attended and couldn't wait for the edited versions) . . . . . .

This is Steve's No. 1 Dim Sum Auntie, she' totally besotted with him and runs around getting him whatever he wants, even before he wants it! Here she is with his 'mongo poodeen' (mango pudding). She wants to take him to a mountain on the island she comes from - I'm still working out what that might be code for, in her Guangdong Hakka dialect.

And here we have No. 1 Dim Sum Auntie and No. 2 Dim Sum Auntie, driving their carts - fried items to the left and steamed items to the right.

And at the end of the meal, all 12 of us were sated. But I think Steve managed to finish the Yeung Chau Chow Faan anyway :) That's a little chicken foot in the foreground, which would have been in front of Anuja!

Rockraiser and Weekend Getaway

On Saturday, Cyberport in Hong Kong will be rocking to the sounds of the 2009 Rockraiser Festival. And Steve and I will be there rocking right along with some of the best bands and singers from Hong Kong and Beijing. All for a good cause, to help disadvantaged children in Nepal.

I decided to make a weekend of it and we'll be admiring the beautiful Lamma Channel view from a bed just like that, on Saturday and Sunday. The bath also boasts a sea view and I'll be into that in a flash! I just hope the weather improves as we've been having some VERY grey and rainy days recently.

It's only about 20 minutes from home but as soon as I saw that room, I wanted to spend some time there - and being in the business, I got a rock-bottom rate which was just too good to miss.

It has been a very busy couple of weeks and there are loads of photos to document it all, if only Steve would load them up, I'd let you take a look. Steve, my love, how about it ;)

Thank You

To whomever took the time to drag and drop all those letters onto my fridge, not to mention re-gendering it to fit the words being about me:

"when she is silent your heart ceases not to listen to her heart"

From 'The Prophet - On Friendship' by Khalil Gibran

A Quickie

Just so everyone knows I'm still around, a quick update:

Foreigner concert was very good - their new lead singer has an amazing talent. And just think, he was discovered on YouTube.

Coldplay concert was diabolically good - they played to a rip-roaring crowd of 11,000 and did something I've never seen before - they relocated from the main stage to waaaaaaaaaaay back in the cheap seats, to play a set there on a tiny stage with just guitars and the tiniest keyboard I've ever seen. What a wonderful way to let those less able to pay top dollar for the prime seats, get close to them, too.

Weekend retreat was wonderful, there's really nothing like staying at a five-star hotel and being spoiled silly - helps, too, when you're on the executive floor and the 24-hour lounge delivers a wonderful spread during the day of breakfast, snacks, cocktails and dessert, all alongside a free-pour bar with juices, sodas, waters, wines, spirits - and champagne in the evening.

Working extra hard, and have been for the past two months, trying to keep everything done and done seamlessly, with my boss now having been away for two months - only three more weeks to go!!

Have endured so much keyboarding lately that my hand pain forced me to the doctor today - I'm diagnosed with tendinitis in both wrists - apart from the muscle relaxant, anti-inflammatory (and resulting anti-acid) he also recommended moving my keyboard from the under-desk drawer to onto my desktop. Now I have to work out how to find some space for it in this almighty mess!!

My sister has demanded another reprieve and I've given her until August 1 to release my babes to me. And told her to get the balance of the money owed for the sale of the dive centre and do something with the apartment so it's ready to rent/sell. She's pushed me to being mean.

My mother's ashes are still sitting in my spare room. Neither sibling has raised the matter, neither seems too bothered. It has been over a year now. Not too sure if I should just hire a boat one weekend and scatter her where we scattered my dad's ashes.

Speaking of my mum, we continue to pay council tax, electricity, insurance, etc., on the house and so I mentioned to my brother (who took on responsibility for the sale of the house) that maybe we need to at least look at renting it out during the summer, it's a perfect vacation house, and all I got was 'good idea'.....and then nothing else. ../.. is my typed equivalent of giving him the bird.

Counting down to the boys coming over and there are so many things planned for them, I'm sure they'll have a brilliant time here. And to be honest I'm really looking forward to the peace and tranquility of the pool villa at Banyan Tree, again.

Apartment prices continue to drop and I think we'll go into a serviced apartment for a while, until Lupo comes over and while the boys are here, that way we're not 'out in the sticks' for their visit and if I go into one of my company's residential complexes, the facilities are awesome for them.

We celebrated our first anniversary last week and all I can say is that I continue to grow in love with my husband. We tolerate, and even laugh at, each other's flaws and celebrate in big ways, the love we share. Happy, happy, happy us :)

Doubly Blessed

T1 born at 1240pm, just over 6 lbs.

T2 born at 1242 pm, just under 6 lbs.

My bestest friend, my chosen sister, gave birth last week, to twins. These beautiful boys came to their parents on 3rd March, after several years of trying to conceive. I'm overjoyed and in total wonder of the strength and passion of my dear friend. And what a wonderful end result of all the hard work.

She's an amazing mother to her first-born, and will be an equally-amazing mother to her two new boys. And while she may have wanted at least one girl, I know why she has been blessed with three boys - because seeing how her first-born is turning out, her gift to the world is raising such amazing little men. And the world needs more of those.

They are so perfect and so beautiful, and I'm so proud of her.

Communication With My Sister ~Updated~

Update 9 March:

I got a very curt text "Am sending vacs 2morrow, promise", from Rhona. No 'love', no 'xxx' but that's OK because right now I just want their vaccination records. So, onwards we move with all this :)


Email from my sister last night:

fion.......this is hard.............i cannot face losing lupo at the moment so i am pleading with you to let me hang on to him for a bit longer..................there is no fear that kirk is coming back as he is with someone else and i cannot handle this fion (i really mean that) to lose him right now............i just cant fion........so please give me a couple more months with him as he is all i have and cannot bare the huge loss.....please try and understand fion but without him in the immediate future it will tip me over the edge i hope you will understand Rhonxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My reply to her:

I don't like this Rhon, you have Shaz, you want to make plans to go to Edinburgh, you want to try and get a job. That means that you won't be able to look after Lupo the way you have been.

You have to stop using Kirk as a reason for not doing things, for stopping your life. There is always the chance that they'll change the rabies rating for Canary Islands and then I'll be stuck. I am making the changes necessary for Lupo in my own life, I have made that commitment.

To be honest it really pisses me off that even when he's gone, Kirk continues to rule our lives like this. You say a few more months, you got that already Rhon, this is just going to go on and on....you went to a counsellor well I would hope he/she can help you to manage this life situation.

I don't like this 'threat' either Rhon, about tipping you over the edge, to be honest. We've been there before, if you recall, when I flew over to Tenerife right after getting a phone call, to find you all hunky dory when I got there. Lupo is not all you have, you have your own dog too and I want some time with Lupo.

Rhon, it's called getting a grip and you really need to get a grip. If you're that mentally imbalanced, it makes me want to have Lupo more. But do not use him as a pawn. An agreement was made and I'm expecting you to hold up your side of that agreement. I gave into you just a month or so ago but now I'm expecting you to honour your word to me. I am not prepared to bend on this one Rhon.

Love Fionxxxx

I am tired of her theatrics. I've lived with them for many years. From hearing of her 4am calls to my parents in Hong Kong, when she was living in London, telling them that she was going to take her own life. To her inability to make a living and being supported by my parents and myself, to her overdosing on valium (turned out she hadn't) a few years ago and me rushing over to Tenerife on the next flight out to find her all jovial and gulping down the wine with her then loser boyfriend (she has quite a track record of them). To her theatrics at my dad's funeral - I don't think I'll ever forget her throwing her UTI drugs at my mother on the day and telling her that she'd need them more than she did, merely because an old boyfriend of my mother's (and friend of my father's) came to the funeral and my mum was chatting with him. To finding a bloody great hole in one of the doors in my apartment, which she's been living in rent-free for over eight years, marking when she lost her temper and kicked a door in. To visiting last year and finding one of her friends had painted my living room bright yellow and hadn't even bothered to move a bookcase so he painted around it. And the epitome of her bad behaviour, the way she treated Steve and I, but particularly Steve, when we visited last year. There are so many other things I'm tired of even remembering.

It's hard to describe her relationship with me, when she drinks there are things she says which tell me she hates me with a passion, not just the words but the vitriol in her voice, the anger in her face. If I move away from her because of this, she turns all whimpering and apologetic and is fearful of losing me (her words).

An example: When I was about 10 and she was five, I was taken to the dentist with a bad tooth. He basically took a hammer and chisel to it and battered it out of my mouth. I was, naturally, in hysterics and my sister was listening to my screams in the waiting room. Until last year, she actually went over 15 years without visiting the dentist and blames me for that. She tells me that it is my fault because she heard me screaming all those years ago. The little hole in her argument is that before the 15-year run, she did go to the dentist. But it's convenient to blame me for her bad dental hygiene for the past 15 years (she finally went last year and had almost lost her teeth by then) and even at that point, she blamed that on me. She loves to recount this story of me being to blame for her teeth. If it wasn't so ridiculous and sad, it might be a little funny.

Am I being too tough, am I tipping her 'over the edge'? I honestly don't know but I'm pig-sick of pandering to her wants and needs and putting her first. Just plain sick of it. To be honest I want my dog and cat back, I want my apartment back. I want that part of my life back. She's my sister and I'll always love her and I want her as a part of my life, but not this big a part of it. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of who she is and what she expects from me.

"You Can Shave Doll"

Thank you Charmed for a great laugh today.

Get a load of that bush! LOL

The Chinese do actually think the "gwai los" are hairy. But THAT hairy??!!??

A Conversation With My Sister

My sister texted me - Fion, can you call me please. I didn't pick it up until the next morning so I texted her back and told her that and asked what was up. Her return text was - never mind, everything's fine.

So, at my 7am, her 11pm, I call. What prevented her from calling instead of texting, I don't know, unless she's in arrears on her phone bills again and they've locked her international call facility.

Me: Hi Rhon, what's up.

My sister: I'm depressed Fion, no work, Kirk left me again, I don't know what to do with my life. I'm sitting at home all day.

Me: I'm glad he's not around anymore, he's very bad news.

My sister: Well, he's gone for good this time.

Me: Uh huh, like the last five times? You know you'll take him back if he wants to psychologically bully you some more. And that's the worst kind of bullying, that noone sees, that you pretend you don't see. I hate to say this but I almost wish he would give you a black eye because that might help you understand what he's doing to you, invisibly, and you also wouldn't be able to explain that away so easily to your friends.

My sister: He loves me.

Me: Oh my god, he does not, Rhona. He sees you as someone he can get away with bullying and no matter how awful he is to you, you will let him back in. He picks at you, he even told you that he doesn't care about you.

My sister: He didn't mean it.

Me: You may think that and yes, it could be explained away as something said in the heat of the moment, the problem is that every one of his actions, supports exactly what he said.

My sister: I don't know. I'm going to a counselor tomorrow.

Me: A counselor doesn't see the interaction that goes on between the two of you, doesn't see the way he puts you down, doesn't see his manipulation of your drinking problems. Doesn't see how he goads you on until you do something irrational and then when you do that, he blames you for doing it. And you don't tell the truth about any of these things, you always excuse his atrocious behaviour and buy into his story of it being your fault. I know, I've witnessed it first hand and have talked about this to you more than once.

My sister: *Silence*

Me: *Getting riled up* Rhona, you're 45, it's time you grew up and took responsibility for your choices and your decisions. Or at least make some. What are you planning to do?

My sister: I think I want to go to live in Edinburgh, rent a small apartment, get re-trained. As I'll only have Shaz (her Jack Russel) with me that will be easier. I'm going to miss Lupo so much.

Me: Well that's a start. I hope you understand that being re-trained doesn't mean you'll get a job as that would put you in the inexperienced batch of whatever you're being trained to do. And with unemployment what it is, you'd be up against a lot of people who have the experience. Quite honestly, maybe you should at least look at doing some waitressing again as a starting point.

My sister: Yes, that's a good idea but right now I have no work.

Me: I know but it's not like you're homeless or penniless so why don't you get out of the house and at least do some volunteer work.

My sister: Yes, I could do that, I just feel so depressed.

Me: Well moping around the house and drinking until you're sozzled every night won't help.

My sister: I know, Fion, I know.

Me: And for god's sake do not even think about letting that asshole back into your life. Move on from this now, once and for all and grab hold of your life.

My sister: He left me, I didn't leave him.

Me: Yup, I understand the difference but it's good he made that decision, now let him stick to it. Make him stick to it. Do not let him across the threshhold again.

My sister: I still don't know what to do about my money (her inheritance).

Me: Well, Rhona, that's another decision you have to make because I'm not making it for you. It's still sitting in my account and you could have had it in an interest-bearing account had you answered my email months and months ago.

My sister: I found one place a few weeks ago, with 3.4%, but I have to pay 20% tax.

Me: If they're still offering 3.4% that's pretty good but the world is changing every day so you'll have research it again. As for tax, well I know that will be a first for you but taxes are just part of life.

My sister: Fion, would you check on the internet....

Me: What? What? You've just told me you're sitting at home all day doing nothing, you know how damn busy I am and you are asking me to do that for you?

My sister: I don't have internet at home (no surprise) and I don't like going to internet cafes.

Me: Well I don't much like rolling out of bed at 6am but I do it because I have to. So don't ask me to do that for you when you know how busy my days are and you've admitted to sitting at home doing nothing all day.

My sister: OK OK don't get so angry at me, Fion.

Me: Well I am angry at you, Rhona. And frustrated. Angry that you continue to expect me to solve all your problems, angry that you continue to let someone mess with your head, angry that you expect me to drop things and help you out every time. I'm angry that I heard you pouring yourself another drink during this conversation. I'm frustrated with you wanting to keep playing the victim and expecting me to dig you out of every hole you find yourself in.

My sister: I'd better let you get to work.

Me: I'm at work, but yes, I need to get back to work. Good luck with the counselor. By the way, I'm still waiting for the company documents so I can close the contract with the seller and collect my final 10% (for the sale of the dive centre) and still waiting for the vaccination records for Lupo and Toffee.

My sister: OK. Bye now.

I'm impatient with her, I know, but I'm simply no longer able to, nor do I wish to, constantly be looked upon as her rescuer. A few months ago, I saw a book and bought it, to send to her. I've delayed doing that in case it was too hard for her to read. But I really think that now is the time. The list of symptoms on the back cover screamed out to me: This is Rhona.....

. a shaky sense of identity (check)
. sudden violent outbursts (check)
. oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection (check)
. brief, turbulent love affairs (check)
. frequent period of intense depression (check)
. eating disorders, drug abuse and other self-destructive tendencies (check)
. an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone (check)

It's about understanding Borderline Personality Disorder. So, do I read it to understand her better? Or do I send it to her so she understands herself better? Or maybe both?

As The World Turns ~ Updated ~

Did someone crank up earth's orbital speed? Is it just me or are the days morphing into weeks and the weeks morphing into months? If I thought 2008 went by fast, it has nothing on the speed 2009 seems to be moving at!!

Some highlights for the next few months are:

٭ Arrival of my best friend's twin boys (March 10 or 12 under c-section) ٭

٭ Journey concert, Macau, 20th March ٭

٭ Coldplay concert, 25th March ٭

٭ Weekend luxury stay in a 5-star hotel suite 27th through 29th March ٭

٭ Easter - pondering a quick trip somewhere with hubby ٭

٭ Toffee and Lupo arrive on 15th April ٭

٭ By May 7 we have to find a new place to live ٭

٭ Steve's boys arrive 17th June for three weeks ٭

٭ On the 21st June we're all off to Phuket for a week ٭

And before I know it, half the year will be gone.

Is your world turning as fast as mine?

WTF...

...is going on with the weather? It was 27C (80F) here yesterday, with more of the same today, and it's early February. Even for us, that's damned hot for this time of the year. We've had about six cold days this winter, and by cold I mean below 15C (60F).

I really don't understand it and certainly hope the temperature dips again, at least a little, otherwise we're in for an intolerably long summer. Every year, the winter gets shorter and while we already enjoy a temperate climate, pretty soon there won't be any really cold days. With our very hot and humid summers, they are something we look forward to - and the chance to break out our boots and winter woolies.

Probably not what those of you who have been knee-deep or more in snow, want to hear, but too much heat isn't that much fun either.

A Meow and a Woof and a Reunited Family

Thank you Agriculture and Fisheries Department for re-classifying Canary Islands under Spain, making it a Group II country for the importation of pets into Hong Kong. Which means no six-month stint in the UK for them. Once the six-month blood test has been done, Lupo and Toffee are free to come to join us here! In March!

I was in the middle of writing another post when this news hit......basically Rhona is trying to tell me that she's not going to give up Lupo as SHE can give him a better life. Yes, this is the woman who has allowed her boyfriend to break my dog's spirit, this is the woman who thinks it is okay for him to be refused permission to even step foot in the lounge in his own home, this is the woman who has relegated him to having a rag on the floor as his bed, this is the woman who leaves him home alone overnight when she's too pissed to get back and this is the woman who doesn't know what she'll be doing in one month, three months, six months.

Yes, she is also the woman who has looked after him for eight years, this is the woman who has given him a lot of love, this is the woman who makes sure he has a run on the beach whenever possible, this is the woman who will drive for two hours to get him up onto the mountain to play in the snow in the winter. I'm aware of all the goodness she's given him, I can see that. Toffee, not so much, he is clearly a love-deprived animal and isn't looked after that well - nor was Sai-Loh, with tragic results.

Over the years, she's allowed her boyfriends to dictate how my dog lives his life. He's gone from having his own chair, his own bed, to nothing. So little comfort that he has callouses on his elbows. And, for her to now have the nerve to say that she can look after Lupo better than I can, well I don't think so missy.

I'll get nasty over this, if I have to. This is where Lupo belongs, where he feels safe and secure. And this is where he's going to be very soon, cuddling with me on my couch. Whenever he wishes to.

Stop....And Hear The Music

A Violinist in the Metro


A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip. A woman threw the money into the violin case and, without stopping, continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a three year old boy. His mother tugged him along, hurrying, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pulled hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only six people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it.

No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theatre in Boston and the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were - in a commonplace environment - at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

May you spot life's many beautiful moments. And may you stop and enjoy them.

P.S. I was hoping to embed a link to a YouTube clip of the actual experiment but I've forgotten how - and I don't have the time to investigate. So, if you wish to see/hear it, a search within youtube for 'Joshua Bell subway video' will pull up a list of options.

One Year On

One year on, today, as I sit here looking out my window at a beautiful sunny, clear blue sky, I remember looking out another window half a world away. The sky there was low and oppressive, a deep grey, and snowflakes were falling. I was by my mother's bed in a hospital in the Scottish Borders, knowing she wouldn't be with us much longer.

I've thought a lot about my mum over these past 12 months. Thoughts which have led me to a quiet acceptance of our difficult relationship. Thoughts which have helped me admire her spirit in her youth, travelling from Scotland to Hong Kong in pursuit of my dad, no mean travel feat in the 1950s. She caught up with him and they were married here in 1955, just after they both turned 22.

Some thoughts have had me wishing we'd been able to share more in our mother/daughter relationship, and some have been understanding that she carried through her life, a scarred relationship with her own mother. I know there were moments when she was proud of me and I know, too, that she trusted me to deal with issues my brother and sister might not be inclined to handle, or even able to handle. During our final days together, I knew for the first time in my life that she also loved me. She said so, finally.

She had a very hard end to an amazing life. A life that started off in adventure and daring to be different. A life filled with love for her husband and a strong independence. A life where she struggled so hard to show us love and affection, it made us question so many times if she had any for us. I wonder if not being able to show us love, hurt her more than it hurt us.

One year on, I remember my mother with love in my heart.


Photo: My sister with my mum, taken in 2007.

Goodbye 2008

Today, I closed my 2008 desk diary for the last time, pressing so many memories between the leather-bound sleeves of the cover.

What a Smörgåsbord of a year I've had. At times it has been good and there were a few occasions when it was astoundingly amazing in a life-changing way. It has also been bad, achingly sad and again life-changing, in a godawful way. I've gone from being a daughter to being an orphan. Shortly afterwards I dropped the mantle of single, aging woman and married the man I love to the length, depth and breadth of my entire being. I embarked on my 50s in November and watched my net worth crumble around the edges before the end of the year.

And here I am on the second day of the New Year, looking through the pages of 2008, at dates when I took trips to Edinburgh, Tenerife, London, Phuket, Macau and several places in the USA. Remembering people gone and people found. Relationships lost or floundering, or magically solidified into my future.

Changes in the world, such changes as none of us could have imagined. Some good, some great, some terrible.

What a year it has been. And what a year it will be.